I was told that most woman who have abortions end up regretting getting an abortion. Are there studies on this? Is this true?
Not according to this study.
I think many women who get abortions feel sad about it – what could have been, factors influencing the abortion, society’s values… but that does not mean they would not do it again given the same situation and factors… it would depend on what you mean by “regret”.
Anamorphic, IANAD, but I believe that study is regarding the period immediately afterward, not after some passage of time. However, since Homer’s question is vague on that point, I guess it answers it.
A valid point. How about this one, then?
re: the period immediately following, please keep in mind that just because a woman may experience post-partum depression doesn’t mean she regrets having the baby.
The OP is a little vague on what, exactly, ‘regret’ entails.
I used to work for a women’s health clinic and except for a very few cases most women were not pleased with what they were about to do or about to go through (a very, very few women seemed to view an abortion as birth control and beyond the hassle were pretty non-plussed about the whole thing). The health center maintained counselors and a full-time psychiatrist to counsel women on the process and what it would mean for them. You got a fairly wide range from some women, as I mentioned, who were easy going about it all and others who were deeply upset. As you might expect most women fell somewhere between those two extremes. Most women were upset though and none to happy about any of it.
That said I would wage very few of the women regretted their decision afterward. The clinic counseled women on ALL of their options (and ALL women had to speak with a counselor first). The clinic by no means pushed one way or the other (this wasn’t one of those trick clinics that gets their hands on a woman and then bombards her with all the reasons to not have an abortion). The clinic merely wanted to make sure that a woman understood all of her options so if she chose an abortion she did so with her eyes open. This also allowed the clinic to assess the woman and determine the level of counseling she might require before, during and after the procedure. In the end though I am unaware of any woman claiming the whole thing (abortion) was a big mistake and regretted ever having it done. Doubtless it has occurred but in my experience the women were well informed of their options, not pushed into any option and made the decision that was best for them.
They may have been upset that it had to happen at all not to mention quite possibly being upset at the events in their life that led them there but practically never regretting their decision after the fact.
p.p.s. – also you might ask how many women feel depressed upon realizing that they are pregnant.
More an IMHO topic.
-xash
General Questions Moderator
Whether or not there are studies which support that claim, I think that reporting such statistics is simply a slimy way to try to sway the decision of women considering an abortion.
It’s a meaningless statistic. People have all sorts of mixed feelings after events and weighty decisions, even big life events which are supposed to be joyous. I think that’s true for starting a new job and getting married. And it’s especially true, as others in this thread have noted, for moms of new babies. I was an effed-up hormonal mess for awhile. I’d imagine that moms who give up babies for adoption also feel some regret. That doesn’t mean that no mother should ever consider it.
In life we may all make decisions which have mixed consequences emotionally. The fact that one might have regrets should not trump all the other circumstances that go into making a difficult decision.
And FTR, I made that difficult decision once. I have had some regrets, because I am human, but I believe it was the absolute right decision for me. Now, when I have the blessing and privilege of raising a child who was wanted and planned for, supported by my whole family and a loving spouse, I am even more sure of that.
Thank you CrankyAsAnOldMan for saying what most people are afriad to say.
Every woman and every situation is different. A few years ago I had to make that choice. The only thing I regret is that I put myself in that situation in the first place. Most women I’ve talked to about the matter feel the same way. It’s not a decision that you make over night. You put a lot of thought into it. Before a doctor will even perform an abortion you must talk to a counselor. They make sure you fully comprehend that this is a permenant choice and there’s no going back. They also make sure you understand that you can walk out of that clinic at any point in time, no questions asked.
I don’t regret mine. :shrugs:
While most women might indeed regret having to have an abortion in the first place, I have never heard of anyone (in my experience) actually regretting their decision afterwards.
Most people ‘regret’ their lifestyle choices when ANY surgical procedure (that results from such choices) needs to be performed. Take for example a woman who needs a hysterectomy for the treatment of cervical cancer that was caused by contracting HPV after one incident of unprotected sex. Or the person who needs their gall-bladder removed after years of eating rich and fatty foods. My guess is that they certainly feel regretful, and wish they had made wiser choices in the first place.
It does not, however, mean that they regret the intervention overall
There are probably alot who regret not getting them as well. Nobody does any studys about that I bet.
You can pick your friends, your nose and your seat, but you can’t pick your family.
Whack-a-Mole said:
“In the end though I am unaware of any woman claiming the whole thing (abortion) was a big mistake and regretted ever having it done.”
Well, you’ve cyber met one now. I had an abortion at 16 years old. My mother made the decision, made the appointment, told me it would kill my father if he knew and that was the end of that discussion. I had an abortion and to this day my father still does not know. I’m 41 years old and there’s no point in telling him at this late date.
I regret it with every fiber of my being. I begged, screamed, cried and pleaded not to have one. I wish I had had the courage to tell SOMEONE other than my mother that I didn’t want to have it.
It took me 5 years to tell my husband I’d had an abortion and even then I didn’t until we were faced with my infertility. He’s been my rock of support as I’ve struggled with the guilt for all of the years, reminding me that I had no choice, I was just a kid.
My life would be radically different if I had delivered that child. I don’t know if I would have parented or made an adoption plan so that’s not even an issue in my guilt. My taking a life is.
It may be hard to believe in light of this post, but I remain pro-choice because I don’t believe it’s my right to make that kind of decision for anyone else and making abortion illegal would do just that.
Adoptamom_II - that’s a horrible story, I feel sadness for you.
I don’t believe the majority of women who have abortions feel “regret” as much as sadness, despair, pain and emotional hell.
With that said, it’s OUR choice, dammit.
Fair enough Adoptamom_II but I would point out that it was not YOUR choice but rather a choice foisted upon you by your mom. I’ve known several women (as close, personal friends or lovers) who’ve had abortions and none of them were proud of the fact it happened or in any way pleased by the whole deal. To varying degrees it was a part of their life they wished they could forget but know at the same time it is important to remember and live and learn from it. However, in all these cases the women made their own choice and not one of them would change their decision if they could.
I grant (and said so before) that there are undoubtedly women who do regret it after the fact but I think they are few and far between. I consider your case to be different because an abortion was definitely not something YOU chose to do even though it is what happened in the end. This is NOT to be confused with most women being in any way happy or not upset by having an abortion…they were faced with an incredibly difficult choice in their lives and none of their choices were ones they liked.
Adoptamom, you have my sympathies for experiencing such a traumatic loss, and I respect you for having the courage to talk about it in a public forum. It really angers me when I hear about parents who think they have the right to force their teenager daughter into abortion. They think they’re “protecting” their daughter from the troubles of teen parenthood, but they don’t realize they may be causing her lifelong grief.
I don’t think anyone can say authoritatively how many women regret abortion. It seems like people who feel regret are less likely to be vocal about their decision than those who feel comfortable with it.
There is a pro-life woman who regrets an abortion who now runs a blog that publicizes media relating to women who regret aborting at http://afterabortion.blogspot.com/
The site http://www.afterabortion.com is primarily populated by pro-choice women who have suffered emotional difficulties after aborting. Some feel regret and some don’t.
My feeling is that’s pretty much all you can say: Some regret, some don’t. It is very short-sighted to say ALL do, or that ALL don’t.
I was dating a girl who got pregnant, and she ended up having an abortion. When she first found out she was pregnant, she was actually…not excited or happy…but I guess impressed is the word here, that we actually made a life. I then told her since we needed an abortion, it’s best to thinkn about that less. After the abortion, she did have a few feelings and thoughts of “what would have happened,” and “was this the right thing.” But less than a month afterwards it was jsut something that we had done.
It can be complicated. Some of the regrets:
having an abortion
not having an abortion
giving a child up for adoption
giving a child up for adoption, regretting it later
not giving a child up for adoption
not giving a child up for adoption, regretting it later
having children
not having children
having too many children to handle
not having more than one child
having a child too late in life
having a child too early in life
allowing one’s parents to make the decision
not allowing one’s parents to make the decision
having a child with a serious birth defect
not having a birth-defective child that science can later ‘cure’
having a child because the spouse/SO desires one
having a child to get out of the parental house
I’ve known women who have regretted each of these decisions. I don’t think that polls offer as many options as there really are.
It is indeed a personal choice.