Does Cake meet the "Pizza rule"?

This the way I see it. Pizza has low vulnerability because the ingredients all work by themselves. You can double or half the amount of an ingredient like the cheese or the meat or the sauce and it won’t affect the other ingredients.

But cake is about proportions. You have to get the right amount of ingredients compared to each other. And that means if you screw up one ingredient, you’ve throw off the entire cake.

To use an analogy from electricity, the ingredients in pizza work in parallel and the ingredients in cake work in series.

Agree. When I was younger I would eat any cake offered just because it was cake and you have to like cake because, well, it’s cake!. But now I’m entirely happy to just take a bite, realise it’s way too sweet for me, and just leave it. As I did at a birthday dinner on Saturday, as it happens.

Some pizza sucks and I won’t touch it. There’s a famous chain here in the LA area, Shakeys. I won’t touch their pizza, have never been able to gag down more than 2 bites.

Cake can fall under that too, some is so damn dry that I won’t eat it. Or has that disgusting frosting so many places use these days. Or any number of other things that can go horribly wrong.

To clarify my comment above:

I’ve had commercially produced and purchased pizza that I threw away after one bite.

I’ve had commercially produced and purchased cake that I threw away after one bite.

But I’m not a huge fan of cake to begin with, if I’m eating it, it means almost no other dessert option was available.

You clearly do not have a mother in law who is accustomed to sugar substitutes while you, in constrast, are not. Not only does everything have a weird aftertaste, but you should also plan a few bathroom breaks on the two hour drive home through the middle of nowhere. Just in case.

You mean there is a magical land in which pizzas and blowjobs are interchangeable?

Give me one with everything.

No, they can both suck ass. Worst pizza I ever had was some bar in New Orleans that sold it by the slice. Couldn’t even finish one piece it was so awful. Then there are cakes that have frosting that taste like shortening. While in general a pizza is less prone to being awful than cake is, there are no guarantees.

I could eat pizza everyday and not have a problem. I’ve dined on deep dish pies in Chicago, the pinnacle of pizzas in New York, original style in Italy, and a Totino’s Party Pizza cooked poorly in a gas stove. I will still eat a bad pizza.

I am such a cake junkie, if it’s offered, I’ll grab a huge slice. If I know it’s going to be offered, my saliva glands switch on to the point of almost drooling.

That said, I’ve never had a pizza where I would only eat one slice. Cake, well, I thought I was the same way with cake. Then our friends got married in January and ordered their wedding cake from a local bakery with great cred (Wuollets). I couldn’t even finish a small piece. It was fresh but f***in’ nasty. I never said anything to them, happy occasion and all that, but if it were a cake for anything else, I’d be demanding a refund.

I kind of get the OP. I’m not a huge cake fan either–pie and cookies are where it’s at–but I’ll eat the crappiest grocery store cupcake, even if doing so fills me with self-loathing.

At “bad” pizzerias, the only hand crafted part is going to be the dough. If they can manage a passable dough, the remainder is sauce and cheese made by someone else, how bad could that be? A bland crust with low end sauce and cheese is edible.

Cake tends to be more fully hand crafted. The icing is also often hit or miss, and forms much of the cake experience. A bland cake with bad icing is not worth eating. Bad cake is also a “treat”, you eat it only because it’s enjoyable, if it isn’t enjoyable I have no problem leaving the rest on the plate.

Ice Cream Cake, OTOH, I don’t recall the last time I had bad ICC.

Anything can be bad, and I say that as both a pizza and cake (!) fan.

Cake made into pizza is terrible, so, yes.

Speaking as someone who once tried to microwave frozen pizza in the dorm (before the age of microwavable pizza), I can say helltotheyes there is bad pizza.

And as someone who has endured my grandmother’s (RIP) horrible cooking, there is also bad cake. She used to think baking soda and baking powder were interchangeable (they are not, unless you compensate).

I totally disagree. For example, genuinely good sheet cake is rare while bad sheet cake is the norm.

A bad crab cake can knock you on your ass.

Yeah, of the two, I’d have to say that cake is far more likely to be massacred.

Question: have you ever heard of fruitcake?

I don’t believe in the pizza rule even for pizza. And even if I did, cake wouldn’t qualify. Cakes are easier to make from scratch than pies, but even so it’s possible to screw them up in several ways.

I can kinda see where the OP is coming from with regard to store-bought cake. When we have office celebrations and HR brings out the generic sheet cake, everyone will crowd around the table for a piece. Even the people who do cake-baking as a hobby want some. And as while we’re eating it, we’ll talk about how bad it is. I have yet to see anyone pass on all that “bad” cake.

However, once you broaden the category from store-bought cakes to ALL cakes, then the “rule” totally breaks down. I will eat anyone’s pizza. I will not eat anyone’s cake. :slight_smile:

I don’t even like good cake. Did I dare to say that outloud?