Does my dad have to testify?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I apologize if this is in the wrong forum. I wasnt sure if it is indeed a general question or not.

I’m trying to find a way to have my dad not have to testify in court.
A little background first. I’ll try to be brief.

I’m a 36 y/o divorced woman. As a child my brother and I were both physically abused by my father. I was also molested by him. Ten years ago he had a number of personal trials in his life, family deaths, illness, injury, those sort of things. Also the abuse came out and everyone knew what he had done. Somehow, having all those things happen to him seemed to change him. He became a different person and one who I can now enjoy being around. Had he remained the same, I would have nothing to do with him.

Thirteen years ago I married a man I adored. We divorced two years ago. We were great buddies but thats all. There was virtually no intimacy for the entire marriage. Ten years of rejection had a profound effect on me to the point where I came to believe that I was too hideous to be seen in public, cut my wrist and spent two months in a physiciatric facility.

During the first eight years of the marriage I worked while he went to school full time. The last two years I didnt have to work and even if we needed the money I was too cuckoo-bananas to work anyway.

We separated a few weeks after I came out of the hospital and I was on the maximum dosage of paxil. My ex drafted up an agreement and asked me to sign it. It stated that he gets the house, the car, most of the household contents and that he would give me $500 a month for one year. I signed it and left and moved back in with my parents where I am now.

Over the last two years I’ve gotten off the paxil, been taking some courses, getting some help with self esteem, that kind of thing. Its been a long road but i’m much better now than when i was married to him.

So now we’re in court because I believe the original agreement was unfair. He wants to go to trial rather than settle. I’ve never (officially) claimed that he was the cause of my mental health issues, but just that I had mental health issues at the time of the signing of the original agreement. I’ve never denied the abuse happened and infact signed an ‘agreement of facts’ (cant remember exactly what its called ) stating that I was abused by my father.

He has come up with a list of witnesses he wants to call, my father being one of them. I feel sick at the prospect of my family having to go through my father testifying about what he did to me. I’m at peace with it myself but the idea of having to sit there while all of my family listens to private details of my life makes me nauseous.

Its my understanding that it doesnt matter why I was battling with mental illness, just that I was. I’m trying desperatly to find a way to have my dad not have to testify.

Any lawyers have any advice or ideas? Anyone been through something similar?

FYI I am in BC Canada and my ex is in Ontario Canada. The case is being heard in the Supreme Court of Canada.

This is causing me a great deal of stress.

If you’ve not gotten bored and wandered away, thanks for listening.

2

If the case is being heard in the Supreme Court, you must have a lawyer, right? Please tell me you’re not representing yourself before the Supreme Court…

All right. Since you MUST have a lawyer, as anything else would be a VERY bad idea, you should talk about this with him or her. After all, knowing about things like this is what they go to law school to learn, and why they are paid so well.

3

I do have a lawyer and quite like her. She says that he has to testify if they subpoena him but that he’ll be protected from incriminating himself. I’m just hoping that theres something she’s forgotten, some little loophole, something that would allow him to not.

4

Do you qualify for the Salvation Army’s pro bono Canada service?

http://www.probono.ca/criteria.html

5

backspace, perhaps you mean the Supreme Court of British Columbia, rather than the Supreme Court of Canada.

In any event, take any advice you come upon here with a grain of salt. Although you will occasionally come across a family lawyer licenced to practice in your jurisdiction, you will also come across many well meaning people who only know enough to steer you in the wrong direction.

This is a good place for a general discussion of family law, but is not the place to seek assistance with your own case that is presently before the court.

I am glad to see that you have a lawyer that you like. Best wishes in getting though this stressful period.

6

It is in the Supreme Court of Canada. I’ve just come back from pre-trial and it looks like he may settle. The Judge recommended that he does so i’m hopfull that it’ll all be over soon. Thank you for your replies.

7

The British Columbia Supreme Court is the court that hears trials of family maters that involve a division of property (the Provincial Court of British Columbia also hears trials of family matters, but only ones that do not involve divorce or division of property). At such trials, witnesses take the stand.

The British Columbia Supreme Court also hears appeals of family matters from decisions made by the Provincial Court of British Columbia. It reviews the record of the lower court, rather than having witnesses take the stand.

The British Columbia Court of Appeal hears appeals from decisions made by the British Columbia Supreme Court. It reviews the record of the lower court, rather than having witnesses take the stand.

The Supreme Court of Canada hears appeals from decisions made by the British Columbia Court of Appeal. It reviews the record of the lower court, rather than having witnesses take the stand.

8

Plus, the Supreme Court of Canada only sits in Ottawa, in this building.

9

My mistake, it is the supreme court of BC. We had to go to the supreme court rather than the provincial court because my ex is in ontario.