Does my dog have separation anxiety because his friend moved away?

My 5.5 year old Labrador retriever mix, Wally, is acting funny even though his vet confirms that he is in perfect health. His normal behavior was to joyfully walk where we took him and play with most other dogs whenever he had the chance. Lately, he hasn’t cooperated with walks and doesn’t always want to play with his friends.

Mrs. Charming and Rested (my wife) and I established a very predictable routine for Wally. In the morning, we walk him my wife’s train before work. I walk him home, where he goes to his crate. I give him some treats and say goodbye. Then I leave for work. He isn’t locked in the crate. Nine hours later, my wife or I comes home and starts his nighttime routine. That includes going out for a pee, dinner, and then he goes to puppy playtime. My wife and I generally trade off on going to puppy playtime but sometimes we both go together.

Wally has a group of dog friends who meet for puppy playtime almost every weeknight and most Saturday mornings. There are four regular dogs and a few others who he plays with when their owners can come. He loves all these dogs and he has never had a real fight with any of them. We even informally board the dogs together at each others’ homes when travelling. Half the time, the group meets at the dog park, where of course any other dogs may come. The other half of the time, just his closest dog friends play together at a local tennis court. We drive to the dog park about half the time and walk the rest. We always walk when we go to the tennis court. Puppy playtime seemed like his favorite time of the day and he was always enthusiastic.

Lately, he hasn’t wanted to walk with us and he hasn’t been as excited to play at the tennis court. He is reluctant to walk my wife to the train in the morning even though he used to enjoy the exercise. Secondly, he often refuses to walk to the tennis court or the dog park to play with his friends. If we drive rather than walk to the dog park, he generally seems happy to be there. If I make him walk to the tennis court, he plays might play a trivial amount, just sulk, or try to escape. He seems indifferent to seeing dogs on his walks that he used to greet enthusiastically (although he has often run hot and cold with these casual acquaintances). He also shows one classic sign of separation anxiety – he has started taking Mrs. Charming and Rested’s bras out of the hamper and leaving them in his bed during the day.

Wally experienced a big change in his life when his best friend, Levi, moved away a few months ago. Wally would see Levi almost every day in his playgroup, and they would spend many nights together when we watched Levi or when Levi’s owner watched Wally for us (generally in our house). Since the move, he has only seen Levi twice and not at all in the last month. Wally’s change of behavior came a little after the move but I can’t think of any other changes that would have triggered Wally’s new behavior.

I’m not sure what to do to restore Wally’s happiness. Any ideas?

How old is Wally? If he refusing to walk he may have a sore hip. Ask the vet to double check. I can imagine he is lonely for his friend, but I routinely put human emotions on dogs. Which may not be true.

Re-read your post, I see he’s 5.5. I still think hip evaluation is a good idea.

Dogs do have social relationships, and they do form bonds with other dogs (and cats or other animals).

It is not that unlikely that he does miss his friend, just as you would miss your friend that you saw everyday and don’t see anymore.

My dog was upset when my friend and his dog moved away. We’d go to the park together a few times a week, and she’d have a grand time playing with his dog. When he moved, she didn’t seem to get too depressed, but she definitely acted as though she knew something was different.

She seemed to get over it in time. I just paid her more attention for a bit, took her for walks in other places than we used to go. Of course, I bring my dog with me to work, so she doesn’t get much of a chance to get too much separation issues, as she’s always got me around.

The fact that the behavior is different when he is driven versus walked does seem to indicate that there might be an undiagnosed health issue. Does he have any other behaviors that indicate pain or discomfort if you walk or exercise? Panting earlier or heavier than he used to? Irritability? Limping? Drooling heavily?

I can’t point to what based on what you’ve described so far, but I’m thinking health issue. I would do some more detailed observation, ease off on the walking, and re-visit the vet with your notes if things don’t improve. Tests may be in order.

It would be unusual for a dog to deeply miss another dog he doesn’t live with. It sounds like a health issue of some kind to me.

You don’t say where you are, but for most of the US, it’s been dangerously cold lately. When he walks to the park, it’s on concrete? And then when he’s at the park, it’s grass?

He might have something going on with his feet. He might need a nail trim or maybe his pads are getting cold and/or torn up.

OTOH, he might well be lonely. Is it possible to get him a friend?

Any chance one of you could come home during the day for a bathroom break (for Wally :D)? 5.5 years isn’t that old but 9 hrs of holding it in could be giving him some lingering discomfort.

Dog#1 (yorkie) doesn’t want to walk if her anal glands need evacuation. My friend has a shepherd mix that gets real constipated, He actually walks with his back hunched up, and looks very unhappy. It is hilarious looking. I have seen a golden ret. with bad hips, it’s pretty obvious that it’s backend was sore. Go to the vet.

How’s his weight? Labs tend to be easy keepers and most of the ones I know love to eat. Their weight can creep up and I see a lot of very fat labs whose owners think they look just fine. Carrying excess pounds will slow down a dog a lot.

I will second the suggestion to talk to your vet about a pain issue.

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the suggestions.

As you can tell from my question, this was my first thought but I don’t see why Wally is reluctant to walk my wife to the train. Maybe that’s just another manifestation of anxiety/depression. Maybe it’s entirely unrelated.

I think the distinction between driving versus walking for him is that if we’re driving, he knows we’re going to the dog park, where he still seems pretty happy. If we’re walking, he’s going to the tennis court where he doesn’t seem to want to go anymore. Maybe he’s just stubbornly insisting we take him to the dog park rather than the tennis court.

His last full checkup was right before the behavior started a few months ago. At the time, his vet’s exact words were, “He’s perfect. Just keep doing what you’re doing.” He saw his vet two weeks ago for a heartworm test. He still seemed fine. There are absolutely no signs of illness or injury. It’s not that he can’t walk, just that he won’t. When he gets to the dog park, he runs and plays like a puppy for an hour or so. If we let him walk where he wants to go, he’ll walk for a couple miles with no problem. When we’re done, he’ll want us to play fetch or chase him through the house. He jumps up onto our bed or window sill with ease, and those are 3+ feet off the ground.

I don’t want to overstate how close he was to Levi but they practically lived together. Levi and Teddy were the first two dogs Wally befriended when he moved to our neighborhood four years ago. For the next four years, those three dogs saw each other almost every day. Most of the time when Mrs. Charming and Rested and I travel, Levi is there with him because his owner watches our house. If Levi’s owner is travelling, Levi stays with us. Levi is the only one of Wally’s friends who can take his good bones. Levi is the only dog who has never been kicked out of our bedroom, which Wally treats as his personal den. Even Teddy ranks lower on Wally’s hierarchy, and Teddy spends almost as much time with Wally as Levi. By all accounts, Levi feels the same way about Wally. Wally gets to eat out of Levi’s bowl, which no other dog (including Teddy) can say.

The reluctance to walk doesn’t seem tied to temperature. On the worst days, we’ll put shoes on him so the ice and salt doesn’t hurt his feet. Lately, it’s been quite a bit warmer out and he is still reluctant to walk.

He might need a nail trim. The irony is the shorter walks, time wearing shoes, and the less time at the tennis court mean his nails don’t wear down as quickly. They are a bit longer than normal but they still don’t touch the ground when he stands. We will definitely give him a trim though and see if that’s the problem. He’s really cooperative when it comes to trimming his nails but we get nervous with the dark nails because we can’t see the quick.

He might be lonely. He certainly didn’t seem lonely when Levi was around. But if he were just lonely, why is he so reluctant to go the tennis court to see his other friends? You would think that seeing Teddy and his other friends would make him less lonely.

Mrs. Charming and Rested will try working from home one day per week but that’s probably not sustainable forever. There’s no chance either of us can slip away and take him for a mid-day walk. We used to have a dog walker but she quit because Wally is very stubborn when he doesn’t want to do something. When he didn’t want to go for walks with her, he would bark and growl at her. After that happened a few times, she didn’t feel safe walking him. Wally is also territorial around the house, so we don’t know how to acclimate him to a new dog walker. The only people who can come to the house when we’re not around are Levi’s owner and Teddy’s owner.

He’s never had an impacted anal gland. His poop is fine. He’s not licking his butt or scooting. He walks and runs normally when he wants to. He plays like a puppy at the dog park. I really don’t think it’s his hips.

We don’t free feed him and his weight and shape is spot on. He weighs about 57 pounds, which is about 2 pounds more than he weighed four years ago but he looked a little skinny then. His vet saw him a couple weeks ago and he is not concerned about his weight or shape. I’m not trying to be blind to a health issue but I have a hard time believing that’s it.

That’s awesome about his weight. I see so many fat, waddling Labs with utterly clueless owners (he’s big boned!) it’s always nice to hear about one in good shape.

I have a few other thoughts on this. Try some positive association training, in addition to breaking his routine. Drop the walk to the tennis court, since he is reluctant, at least for now. Add something new that he might like, such as agility classes for several weekends. You could also try a doggie daycare place one or two days a week, and see how he does with new routine and new friends.

In terms of walking Mrs. Rested to the train, does he have a toy that he really, really likes? Or a special treat he hardly ever gets? Try adding something extra special to the walks to make them more fun. Walk a block, ask him to do a sit, give him a treat or play tug with the toy. Try taking a different route to the train station. I’m not talking miles different, but if you can walk a block over, and add some fun and games, and mix things up a little it might help.

Long term: you might seriously consider another dog, after you’ve tried other things, if the issues persist. 9 hours is a relatively long time for some dogs to be left alone. Labs are active dogs, and most breeds do better with company. It would mean a change for all of you, but having a buddy in his home to play with all day could be just the ticket.

High level: keep doing the things he seems to like, change up the things he doesn’t seem to enjoy to make them more fun or different, and see if you can add a new activity (on at least a short term basis) that he would enjoy.

My dog used to play on a tennis court, too. Until it started tearing his feet up. Double-check his paws.

I have never had more than 1 dog at a time, but a friend of mine has 5 dogs & one of them had to be put down last month. Her dog Zoey was BFFs with the dog that was put down & Zoey has been acting oddly ever since her friend disappeared. I think dogs can and do feel emotions, but the good news is that they are resilient.

Thanks for the suggestions, Sunny Daze. We tried mixing up his walk route this morning as you suggested and he cooperated. It’s hard to incorporate tugging or fetching toys into a walk because a simple tug game can take a couple minutes and we can’t let him off leash to fetch. We do periodically ask him to sit or touch my hand on walks to earn treats and he usually complies. Recently grumpy Wally has been less willing.

For the time being, we can give him a little discretion to do what he wants but decisions like dog park or tennis court are yes/no. If we don’t go to the tennis court with his friends, he won’t get to play with any other dogs that day. By the time we’re planning to meet up at the court, the dog park has already closed. I’m worried that less puppy playtime will mean more loneliness.

He went to the local doggie day care a couple times but he didn’t come home tired and stinky, so we assume he didn’t play much. For whatever reason, a lot of dogs at several dog parks try to hump Wally. We like to keep an eye on him when he plays with new dogs because the constant humping eventually gets to him if no one intervenes. He then acts sad and withdraws or he lashes out at the dog. Accordingly, it’s best to supervise him in interactions with new dogs so he doesn’t get too frustrated.

We’ll consider getting another dog. He gets a lot of socialization with other dogs and we often watch our friends’ dogs so there are lots of times he has companions at the house. Wally’s friend Zoe is staying with us next weekend for example. We don’t know how a new dog would fit into the mix. Wally seems to get jealous when another dog is around the house for too long (except for Levi) so we’re not sure whether he would like a full-time dog friend.

Thanks for the suggestion. His paws are fine. We just trimmed his nails yesterday and checked his feet. Wally spent three years playing on that surface every day without a single problem before the dog park opened. The current issue is that he won’t go to or play on the tennis court at all so he can’t be injuring his feet there.

Wally sounds like a sweetheart. Only solution is to kidnap Levi and his family and get them back were they belong!

All kidding aside, I hope Wally gets back to being himself soon.

My honest belief is that Wally and Levi would in fact be happiest if we all lived together but we don’t have nearly the number of bathrooms needed to make that work. :slight_smile:

There’s another open question whether Wally will adjust better if we see Levi only every few months or never again. We’re slated to get together with Levi and his owner next weekend.

Double post for all those breathlessly awaiting updates. Wally still avoids the tennis court and the morning walk to the train so we’ve been letting him walk where he wants. Twice this week, he marched to Levi’s old house and then refused to leave. Wally still mopes around the house if we aren’t playing with him.

Wally saw Levi yesterday. They played and had a great time. Levi walked towards the tennis court but, as we got close,Wally wouldn’t follow, so that suggests Wally isn’t avoiding the court because of Levi’s absence. Mrs. Charming and Rested never believed he was avoiding the court because of Levi.

I’m still looking for explanations/tips on Wally’s seeming depression and separation anxiety. Thanks.