I think this is all part of the dynamic of the way gamers relate. Gamers are the sort of people who were picked on all through our childhood and adolescence for wearing the wrong clothes, for having the wrong haircut, having goofy glasses, not having straight teeth—in short, for deviating from the norm in outwardly obvious ways.
As a result, we do not criticize each other’s appearance or physical characteristics. As a general rule, gamers are much less prone to judging on physical factors than other people, and considerably more tolerant of deviation from the norm. We’re intersted in the person underneath, not clothes and grooming habits. The rule of thumb is, “Judge not lest ye be judged,” and “Let he or she who has never had B.O. cast the first stone.”
If you become very close friends with someone, you might someday work up the determination to point out that they really need to shower more often use some deodorant, despite the fact that you know, from personal experience, that it will be extremely painful and humiliating for them. Or, more likely, you’ll just justify to yourself that, yeah, this person has a rather objectionable reek about them, but they’re nice, funny, a font of information on [obscure but fascinating topic of your choice], a fantastic role-player, and they are willing to do almost anything to help out a friend, so all those positives balance out a negative that is, in the gamers’ list of priorities, petty minor.
I was chatting with a non-gamer girlfriend of a gamer. The couple was new to our area, and she said she was amazed that they’d walked into our college’s games club, and instantly he had a room full of friends. He was immediately welcomed into a board game. (She was offered a seat also, but she politely declined, having another even to attend.) He played games all night, and had an invite to an RPG by the end of the evening.
She didn’t come out and say it plainly, but she was (painfully) aware that her boyfriend’s social skills were perhaps a bit lacking, but she said, “Now he has a bunch of people to hang out with and I,” a rather attractive, stylishly dressed, sweet young woman, "feel like I hardly know anybody. " She said, “I guess it was the same way with his gaming club back home. Gamers are the kindest people I’ve ever met. You don’t exclude anybody.”
I think that’s the nicest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say about me and my friends, and I have never been prouder of my hobby.
