I made this for my partner years ago, quite apropos! Imgur: The magic of the Internet
To be fair - I bought them because they were on sale for real cheap and in my size. I’m a short small guy, finding things 30 waist 29 inseam and on sale is a tactical achievement!
I never asked my Father about that. Did he wipe with sheets of “Stars and Stripes”?
Surely General Patton used Bill Mauldin cartoons.
At least with artisanal I can see what the relevance is, even if the product doesn’t meet that standard. An artisanal bar of soap would be one that was hand made by a skilled craftsman. But a tactical bar of soap? I don’t understand what the point is they’re trying to make.
I could watch a bar of soap being made and tell you at the end whether it was artisanal or not. I couldn’t do the same if you asked me if the bar of soap was tactical.
Could you kill someone with it while they were showering?
My brother-in-law, former military & law enforcement, got a tactical baby carrier for my niece mainly because he needed an easy way to carry her but partially because he thought it was funny.
Or conversely, could you use it to defend yourself from someone who was trying to kill you while you’re showering?
Says who?
OK, now I actually kind of want that.
“Say hello to my little kitty.”
Tactical spork
Ha I thought you were just being ridiculous but by golly, the “Man Bomb Bath Bomb” is indeed a thing. Army green lookalike hand grenade! Scent options include “Bamboo & Teak”, “Black Linen & Amber”, “Red Cedarwood”, “Green Irish Tweed”, “White Musk”, “Glacier Falls” and “Oceanus” (I would rather not smell like any kind of anus, thank you 
). None of those sissy flower smells here, fellas!
You can also get manly bath bombs shaped like handguns or mugs of beer.
Sounds like we could go through the mall swapping out the words “tactical” and “natural” on male-marketed and female-marketed products, respectively, and achieve some interesting results.
“Tinted Moisturizer Tactical Skin Perfecter”.
“Check out our ‘Natural’ F-series rifle barrel men’s razor”
“The mall”? What’s that?
A place you rent out to play tactical paintball wars.
As I have heard it tactical generally would mean that product is for a specific circumstance where failure is not an option.
An example
Tactical flashlight, one that at the start of the tactical operation will be given new fresh name brand batteries, we get rid of the voltage regulator which is a potential point of failure and we depend on the new batteries to keep the voltage high, & the LED’s are robust to handle the slight over voltage of the new batteries. A standard flashlight would contain a voltage regulator which would give a near constant light output to make best use of stored batteries in the device as it is unlikely to replace the batteries every use.
But with advertising it’s just a way to sell a lot of crap.
Does not perform as well as a regular spork, let alone a fork, but is painted black and costs twice as much.
That’s exactly the opposite of what I would expect. A combat is the sort of situation where you can’t count on your batteries being fresh and of the highest quality, so you want a “tactical flashlight” to be able to handle whatever sort of battlefield-salvage batteries you can scrounge up. Like, an Abrams is intended to usually run on JP8, but it can use pretty much any sort of volatile hydrocarbon.
The flashlight without the voltage regulator where you’re always expected to swap out fresh, high-quality batteries every use might be an aerospace flashlight, or something, but not tactical.
The tactical soap I referred to in the OP comes in “3 scents for the relentless warrior” - Citrus Flash Bang, Typhoon Blast, and Tropic Thunder.
Oh, and it costs twelve dollars a bar.
It’s an annoying peeve of mine but the webbing is actually PALS (Pouch Attachment Ladder System) while MOLLE (MOdular Lightweight Load-Carrying Equipment) is the overall system. Every time some YouTuber reviews a pack and boasts about “MOLLE webbing” a little piece of my soul dies, especially because it really isn’t that great of a system for general use.
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