People have sexual responses to certain phenotypes, it’s as simple as that. I’m not sexually attracted to women, does that make me a sexist?
I think there’s a line.
For example, I’m not sexually attracted to women, but I don’t go that extra step and think or say that women are ugly or unattractive. When I hear someone say that they prefer blondes, they don’t generally claim that all redheads and brunettes are simply hideous.
Of course, everyone’s milage may very here, but more often than not when I hear someone say there’s a race that they would never date - it’s accompanied by an explanation that includes some racial stereotype. Flags go off, bells ring, there’s a clue that there’s more going on there than simply pure, biologically based physical attraction.
How about turning the initial question on it’s head. Is it bigoted to say that you find members of a particular race (of whatever sex you’re attracted to, presumably) unusually attractive? What if I said that I thought asian woman were hot? Would it be akin to saying that black people are good dancers? If it is bigoted, against whom is the bigotry being directed?
Yes, it’s still wrong because sterotypes, even positive ones, still assume that being a member of a racial or religious category is more important than being an individual. Assuming that a black guy must be a greeat dancer, or that a Chinese student must get straight A’s in calculus, or that a Jewish guy must be a financial wiz is still insulting because you are making a judgemtn based on background rather than from personal knowledge of the individual.
Sexual atraction, however, is not the same thing as stereotyping. If dark skin is a sexual turnon, then it makes sense that you would be more attracted to any given black woman than to a white woman. If, however, you are objectifying her as a possessor of dark skin rather than as a person with needs and desires of her own, then you are going wrong.