And, he made it about as easy as any person could. I am lucky to have him as my best friend and he could care less about my sexuality so long as I am doing ok. He said he really didn’t know and/or wasn’t sure but it was fine that I told him. I was very nervous but at the same time I knew deep down I wouldn’t lose his friendship so I was able to do something that I consider to be very hard to do and have only done twice before in my life. Anyways, couldn’t ask for a better best friend.
I’m so happy it all worked out. Can’t say I’ve ever personally had to tell anybody anything like that but it seems that it would be a relief to not have to worry about it anymore.
Well actually since you dont date anyone and he noticed I’d venture to say your not so much gay as you are asexual. You even admit your not into sex much.
Good for you, barry.
My best friend came out to me in our mid 20’s.
Conversation went a lot like Johnny Bravo’s hypothetical. Like you, he was very nervous at first. He needn’t have been; It did not come as a shock to me.
We remain best friends going on 30 years now.
[thread drift] A person can be asexual and gay at the same time. The more precise term is “asexual homoromantic” - ie, falls in love with same-sex but not real interested in getting it on. Or he might be demisexual - he’s not interested in sex with someone he doesn’t have strong romantic feelings for already.
It’s becoming more and more recognized that while a person’s sexual and romantic orientations usually match up, they don’t always and that’s okay.
Example: A guy who occasionally has sex with other guys but only falls in love with women might be bisexual but heteroromantic. Or I know one woman who can fall in love with both genders but while she loves sex with men she isn’t interested in doing more than kissing/making out with women - she’s biromantic heterosexual. Etc.
Mazel tov!
Why am I reading this and picturing Lucy saying it to Charlie Brown? (What’s Pantophobia?)
There’s a huge difference between “not into sex much” and “not into sex at all,” however. And merely not having had sex in a while definitely doesn’t make someone ace.
To be honest, nothing he said sounded particularly ace to me–but I only have some ace acquaintances online, so what do I know.
THAT’S lT!
Are you making up all these new terms?
Tell him!
He probably already knows, and also knows a gay guy that he thinks is ‘just right for you’, and he wants to introduce the two of you.
With luck, you could soon be back into dating in a serious way!
My mother language is not English, yet those terms are not new to me. I have read and heard them before. I understand that they are rather standard in that particular “field”.
JoseB
Heterosexual heteroromantic Spaniard exiled (kinda sorta) in the Netherlands
When one of my best friends came out, I was one of the first people he told. I think I was one of his test runs, that if it went okay with me it would bolster his confidence with others down the line.
This was him coming out, not him remaining closeted and only telling a few important people. I think something this important ought to be one or the other - keep it a secret if you wish (not recommended, but understandable) or be open with everyone. It gets quite complicated if you half-ass it.