Dog People, what am I missing?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I’m a cat person.

A couple folks in the household really wanted a dog. We have plenty of yard, plenty of faces in the house, and decent research skills so it was feasible to get a dog and to raise it into a well-adjusted pet. So we got a black lab mix puppy a couple months ago. So far he’s working out to be a good dog. He’s got a good disposition, lots of energy, learns quickly, loves the bath, etc. I really have no complaints.

And I find the creature absolutely nauseating. Like a good daddy, I spend time with him, love on him and do all the stuff you’re supposed to do, but I am just failing to bond at all with him. It’s like I just don’t have a dog-shaped place in my heart. I can’t take him seriously. I can’t get past the thought that all his love and enthusiasm he shows for me is just bred into him–he has no choice but to act that way unless I get really abusive to him for a really long time (which is not in my nature, so no worries). Cats are different, to me. They can take you or leave you, and if they decide to take you they are really loyal and responsive. They like some people in the house and not others. The dog? He thinks everyone is just fantastic–he’s a simpering whore who, again, doesn’t really have a choice about loving people. It strikes me as a completely meaningless friendship that could be just as easily replicated by taping notes all over the house that declare, “I love you” and “You’re the best!” to anyone who can read.

TLDR: I’m a cat person. I own a dog. I’m not having any luck bonding with the dog, and do not see anything emotionally redeeming about owning a dog.

2

You still need to replicate the yard filled with poop and chewed shoes.

3

I’m trying to overlook the obvious drawbacks. :slight_smile: I still need to clean up after the cats, replace drapes periodically, vacuum more often, etc.

4

Some dogs are different and more picky. Labs are known for being friendly with everyone. The dog my wife and I have right now is friendly to everyone, but obviously favors my wife a lot more than me (what’s funny though is that although he obviously likes her more, he listens to me). Right now he’s laying on my lap. That only started recently. A few days ago I had to take him to the vet and he did not like that. But I held him and from then on he has been attached to me.
Personally, I hate cats. I hate them with a passion. They think they’re better than you.

5

:slight_smile: That interpretation is its own heated thread and I’ll gladly participate in it. For this one I just need to know the good stuff about dogs because, clearly, there is something wonderful about them that I am just not seeing.

6

One of the reasons I like dogs is the insane amount of loyalty a lot of them show. There have been a ton of stories in the news, popular culture, etc, about a dog who’ll wait by their owners body, or grave, or at a train station for years. One of the reasons why Futurama’s “Jurassic Bark” was so memorable was because it was believable.

7

Dogs are much cuter than cats; that’s pretty much all you need to know.

And dogs can pull you on a skateboard, let’s see a cat do that.

8

I think the key with dogs is not the loyalty and love, which as you mention, is par for the course with dogs. The key is discovering in which ways that dog is unique.

We had a dog who was so obedient he would sit and drool over a cookie all night instead of eat it. You could balance a cookie on his nose and he would just sit there.

Our current dog ups the ante for how we can keep food away from him. He opens latched garbage cans, and is taller than our 3 year old with a much longer reach. He steals unopened cat food cans, but has yet to figure out how to open them.

One of my in-laws dogs will pretend there is someone outside, then when the other dogs go nuts and get let outside, prances around inside looking like the cat that got the cream.

Dogs are endearing in a variety of ways, the trick is to find it.

9

If dogs aren’t your thing, then they just aren’t and nobody is going to be able to sell you on them. Probably has a lot to do with whether you had them growing up. As long as you treat your housemates’ dog well, it’s fine either way.

I think they smell weird.

10

I’m a cat person, too, although I like dogs if they’re owned by others. I think a lot of people like the dependence of a dog. I took care of my cousin’s dog for a week. She’s a lovely dog and we’ve always gotten along very well. While I’m sure some of it was because she missed my cousin and wasn’t used to my home, that dog followed me EVERYWHERE. It drove me crazy. She does that with my cousin who loves it.

I guess dogs suit needs that not all of us have.

11

I’m a bit agog that your logic here is “they’re naturally loving so it doesn’t count.”

There are a lot of people who are naturally outgoing, friendly, and nurturing. Does that make their emotions and affection somehow less valid than someone who is a hostile grump? Your SO’s affections only “count” if he/she is normally a stand-offish hermit or an asshole?

Dogs are individuals, as much as cats are. Some cats are really affectionate too. Does that not count because it happens to be in the cat’s nature? Some dogs are more stand-offish than others, or prefer more “alone time,” etc. You happened to end up with a dog that’s really affectionate… and that’s a bad thing?

TL;DR: Huh?? Your argument is all in your head.

12

Evolution in action, not just something we bred into them. The dogs whose ancestors didn’t like humans much or at all are feral/wild dogs, or still wolves.

13

It is a good thing this thread is about dogs because some people feel the same way about romantic partners. They are the ones that end up with the sociopathic, moody, assholes (the human version of cats).

14

I had to run this through the brain a few times because the way you put it, it sort of sounds like an easy call. But…yeah, I guess that is essentially my logic: Scarcity imbues value. Which is not to say sociopathic, moody assholes like me make for better friends, but it’s really easy (for me) to wonder how special I am to someone who can love anybody. A dismissive cliche like “Aw, you say that to all the guys” is what I’m getting at.

But mostly I’m interested in what dog-people see in dogs. I’m genuinely intrigued, my own reclusive social awkwardness notwithstanding.

15

Maybe thinking it’s about you, and specifically about making you feel special, is where you’re going wrong in your thinking. Part of the appeal of a dog, or a cat or a child or a friend, is the self-forgetfulness that comes from focusing on another creature.

I’m not particularly a dog person myself, but I can definitely see the appeal to those who are.

16

We;re not talking about gold here. We’re talking about affection, which is not a finite resource. If someone says “You’re the handsomest man alive” to everyone, then yeah, the compliment is worthless because you can’t all be the handsomest men alive. If someone says “You’re funny and incredibly sweet,” the compliment isn’t devalued if they say it to other people. There are a lot of funny, sweet people in the world. I know some like to be the specialest snowflake of them all, but liking a lot of people doesn’t make that liking any less valid. I agree with K that it’s pretty silly to say, “Sure, they’re happy to see you, but they’re happy about lots of things, so I don’t like it.”

Anyway, that’s precisely what I like about dogs. Dogs are, aside from being adorable, are just plain fun. They like to play, you can roughhouse with them, they like fetching, they’ll jump in the lake with you, and they’ll be having the time of their lives while doing it. I can’t not enjoy myself with a happy little beast wagging its tail away. I went to my cousin’s funeral some months ago, and while playing with the dog, I was almost not sad. That cute little dog thought playing tug of war with me was just about the most fun that there was, and she was right.

Story: So I was out with this guy I used to know when he decided he wanted to show me something, but wouldn’t say what. I have to point out that I hate surprises, and everyone who knows me knows this. But he was one of those jerk asses who got a kick out of torturing me. So we’re walking, and I keep punctuating the conversation with guesses about where we’re going, and he kept brushing them off. Something like 35 min later I was downright annoyed and whiny, but was assured that I would really like where we were going. So this song and dance goes on for a while, I’m planning to punch him in the ribs, then we come over this little hill, and there it is, the happiest place on Earth, a huge ass dog park on the beach. Oh my fucking Dog, I was so freaking happy at the sight of all these dogs running happily on the beach, playing with each other, fetching stuff, swimming around. That kind of crazy joy brings me joy.

I guess I’m just a sucker for happy animals. The fact that they’re so dang cute doesn’t hurt either.

17

I love dogs. Best creatures in earth. And I guess I love them for the same reasons you dismiss them–they are so affectionate and loyal. Whenever I walk through the door our dogs are thrilled–absolutely @#$%ing thrilled–to see me. They lay at my feet when I’m reading and find nothing so satisfying as being in the same room with me. They are silly and beautiful and warm and fuzzy. What’s not to like?

Nonsense, you’d probably say. They like being in the room with anybody. I don’t know. Maybe. But I don’t care. They’re with me! :slight_smile:

18

I like both dogs and cats, but I loved cats first. That said, I’m now pretty much a dog person. Or (more accurately) a “some kinds of dogs” person.

I think the issue might just be the breed. As much as I like dogs, I just can’t get into Labs, or Golden Retrievers. That’s not to say they’re not great dogs and worthy of love and can be really amazing; they’re just not MY kind of dog for a lot of the reasons you say. They’re big and floppy and totally excited about everyone/everything and just generally don’t do much for me.

The dogs I do like I like because:

  • they don’t love everyone, but they do love me
  • they get excited when I come home
  • it’s fun to watch them think. Cats are harder that way; they aren’t so physical in their thinking process. Watch a dog try to get a toy out from under the couch or think through an issue they’re having. It’s funny.
  • They’re more outwardly emotional than cats. I’ve been around cats enough to know that they do show emotion, they’re not aloof all the time. Still, dogs just show what’s going on in a more physical way. I think that’s kinda cool.
  • No litterbox. NO FREAKIN’ LITTERBOX. Holy hell, I spent something close to 20 years cleaning litterboxes, I don’t miss it at all.
  • the dogs I tend to like are more clowny than a cat will ever be. Cats are neato because they’re regal; some dogs are neato because they’re silly clowns.
19

Apparently it’s a bad thing to be perpetually happy. :dubious:

20

I do not care for cats, but your question was not to compare cats to dogs. I think dogs make for better companions because they are loyal, responsive, and present you with that unconditional love. Depending on the size, they can be rugged, and can accompany you on your adventures in the mountains, or along a beach, taking a run. etc. They can swim with you in a lake or pool. Stroking a dog sitting near you, or in your lap, is very relaxing. A well-trained dog will alert you when someone is at your front door, and their barking can scare away would-be intruders. They can also be protective of their owners, or of people they consider part of their “pack”. All-and-all, good companions.

Like others are saying here, all dogs are different. Not every dog is lovable or likable. The one you describe in the OP sounds like a nice guy, but I do acknowledge it could take a little time for you and he to get to know each other. Give it a chance and you may be pleased in the long run.