Well, I am a new Dad to the most beautiful little boy I have ever seen. He is a week old and I am tired, exhausted and at the same time completely beside myself with joy and love for this little man.
However, one thing that I have been doing that I find mildly disturbing is that when he does something well - like latch properly for nursing, I’ll say something like, “Good Boy!!!” or when I come back from work, or if it has been a while since seeing him, I’ll say things like, “Hi buddy!!” etc…
I am trying to break the habit but it’s not easy…Anyone else go through similar things when a new baby comes into the house? Or maybe it’s not that bad and will simply die a natural death and I’ll just move on to referring to him by his name…Any thoughts?
I’m not sure it’s a problem. People tend to talk to babies and beloved animals in the same way in general.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not equating babies and pets, I’m just saying there’s a certain tone and way of speaking that people naturally lapse into in the presence of either.
I agree, and I am not one of those who thinks all baby talk is bad…it’s just that I sound like I am talking to a dog at times, and I don’t want to do that. It’s possible my brain just needs to get used to how I sound when I talk to him…
I’m with DianaG. Where’s the problem? After all, babies, like dogs, are responding to the tone of your voice and not really your words. And yes, it does just sort of fade away on its own.
ETA: right around 11yo or so they start, once again responding mostly to your tone and not paying so much attention to your words.
Well, while still in the hospital with our first kid, my wife called her “pooch” by mistake. Something like “Oh, what’s the matter? What’s the matter pooch?”
I laughed; she embarrassingly corrected herself. So, yes, it happens and yes, you’ll soon be over it. I found it hard calling our new babies by their given name at first. The name didn’t suit the little ball of flesh, but that fades quickly too.
My husband was convinced that our children would never learn their real names if I didn’t quit calling them all kinds of nicknames and endearments. They got older, habits changed, and by the time they started school it was all okay.
They do still answer to things like Sweetie and Punkie (or Punk). I’m not sure how my son would feel about Squirtley, though.
I don’t think the issue is that you talk to your son like you would a dog, I think it is more that you talk to your dog like you would a baby. This is completely normal.
When I get home from work I sit down on the couch and the dog jumps up next to me so I can pet her belly and I say things like, “Who’s the most beautiful puppy in the whole wide world? That’s right, it’s you!” and she responds with such happy smiles and wiggles that I can’t imagine not addressing her like that. I have no doubt that in a couple of months when my daughter is born I will say very similar things (substituting “baby” for “puppy” of course) and that she will be just as thrilled by my tone of voice. The difference is that over time my tone will change and my words will become more important with the baby whereas the puppy will always respond to my tone of voice like she is listening to a choir of angels no matter what I say.
That’s nothing. We have 3 small parrots, two dogs, a hamster, and a cat. I often find myself addressing them as if they were one of the other animals. The dogs in particular get called “good bird!” a lot.
I don’t have kids, but I was walking my dog with my neighbor, her dog and her 3 year old son. We got to the curb and he started to go across the street without waiting for his mom and I let out a loud “Timmy, HEEL!” command that stopped him in his tracks.
My son’s name and my father-in-law’s dog’s name are both 2 syllables and start with the letter “C.” My father-in-law is a very active, involved grandparent, but… he calls my son by the dog’s name semi-regularly!
I never did anything that bad, but when my son was little, I was constantly barking short commands to both him AND to our own dog, a little rat terrier mix. I was so in the habit of barking those familiar one-word commands, that one time, at a restaurant, I actually told my wife “Stay!” when I really just meant to tell her, “Wait here, I’ll be right back.”
Dob’t worry about it. I didn’t start regularly calling my daughter by her name until she was about 12; I’m sure that, as toddler, she thought her name was Honyebunny-Sweetiepie-Boo.
You do start to associate certain words with a certain tone of voice and/or situation.
A couple of times when I was annoyed at my ex for something I called her by my daughter’s name, Juliette, since she was the one I was more used to telling off. I’ve said ‘good girl, Juliette, you wee-weed outdoors!’ to the dog, who’s called Molly. Yesterday I told someone in the park my dog’s name was Juliette. I sometimes call the cat Molly, when his name is Perry, and the dog we look after is fortunate if she ever gets called the right name. Today, when my daughter got back from walking the dogs, a longer walk than usual, I said ‘good girls! All three of you!’
They’re all just interchangeable little animals that I look after.
I took me a while to adapt from a “dog person” to a Dad but I think I’m getting the hang of it with only a minor drawback or two. For instance, when my son and I walk around the neighborhood, I still believe using the leash and electronic collar is a positive experience.
I know, right? And no pictures?! I’m far more disturbed by that than by you talking to him like a pet; that’s just natural. I agree: it’s not that you’re talking to the baby like a dog, it’s more that you’re talking to the dog like a baby, and it’s totally not a problem.
Our little guy is one (today! hooray!) and we still call him by the cat’s name, and vice-versa. I assume that will happen forever. I know my mom used to call us by everyone else’s names; one memorable time, my mom was looking right at me, and I patiently waited as she went through about 10 or 12 different names, including my sister, my father, our cats, her sister, and even one of her cats from when she was young, before she finally laughed, “Oh, you know who you are! Just come here!”
And I have found that the baby-talk has “matured” a little along with the baby, both in tone and content. I also used to feel weird calling him by his given name; he was always “Buddy” or “Bunny”. Now, I still use those, but most often, it’s his name or his nickname.
Too true.