I would call the cops and let them deal with it. The one and only time I got involved the guy punched me in the face hard enough to damn near break my jaw. I got him down on the ground and held him until the cops finally got there. Guess what? She wouldn’t press charges! But I did.
Auraseer, your intentions are admirable, but that is a BIG NO NO. You touch the guy and HE might decide to press charges against YOU. And his wife or girlfriend might even testify on HIS behalf! Better just to call the police.
– Sylence
“The problem with reality is the lack of background music.” – Anon
I used to work with a girl who was divorced from a psychopath. She’d changed her name and her son’s name and moved across the country to hide from him; she was certain he’d kill them both if he found them.
She married a guy and for about a week everything seemed okay. Then it became clear that this guy was just as abusive and dangerous as her ex. He kept watch over her all night long as she worked, and god forbid she should do or say anything that displeased him.
I left that job, then a few months later the girl called me, begging me to hide her and her son. She needed a place to stay for a night or two, and asked if I had a garage where she could hide her car. I agreed; how could I refuse? She sounded out of her mind with terror. She never showed up and I have no clue where she is now.
In this case, going to the police was out of the question. This guy WAS a policeman, not a rookie cop but a well-respected veteran. Has anyone here read Stephen King’s “Rose Madder”?
Sylence: Yes, I know how easy it would be to get myself sued or arrested. I could deal with that if I had to, but I don’t think I could live with myself if I didn’t react.
kellibelli: The hypothetical woman is already being beaten, and presumably abused in other ways. Her husband might use me as an excuse for hitting her again, but even if I were never involved, he’d find some other reason. Pounding the guy would at least give his wife a short respite (while all his important bones healed), and might give her a good opportunity to leave him.
Anyway, I’ll admit that my position on this issue is based on emotion. There are probably a thousand good reasons stay out of it. But even if, sitting here, I intellectually decided not to get involved in such a dispute, I’d probably still act on my impulses if the situation ever did arise.
Of course I don’t fit in; I’m part of a better puzzle.
Several years ago, I was going home from work, and noticed a car on the other side of the road, with a girl lying on the curb, and a young Korean man trying to get her back into the car.
I turned the truck around, and asked her if she needed help, she said yes, I said get in the truck. She asked to be taken back to where her car was (approximately 35 miles away).
As my wife worked near, and would be expecting me home soon, we went to her workplace to let her know what was happening. As I tried to get someone’s attention, the man in the car pulled up behind us, and tried to get the girl out of the car, but we had the doors locked.
As it turned out, the girl did not want to go to the police, but eventualy did when she got home. She and the man (he a Korean citizen, she a Korean American), worked in a restaurant, while going to college. He had decided to marry her, but she had not decided to marry him. He got her into his car by some trick, and headed towards the town I work in, which is, as I said, about 35 miles away, on the shore of Lake Michigan. The plan was, to go out on the pier, and to kill her, then kill himself. When they got to the traffic light in town, she jumped out, and that’s where I found her.
They ended up prosecuting the fellow, who plea bargained to keep from being sent back to Korea.
I have never regretted getting involved at all. It could easily have appeared to be “just another domestic dispute”, but this time it wasn’t. Personally, I would rather try to help someone that appeared to be being abused, and suffer embarassment/retaliation etc. than to ignore a possbly fatal situation.
Jvanhorn:
They weren’t married? Seems to me more like kidnapping than domestic abuse. Domestic abuse implies that it is taking place at home. We’re talking about women who are beaten by the man who lives with them, is married to them, and/or is in a relationship with them.
Was nice of you to help out, though…