Barcelona is a great place to visit.
Beautiful (but wacky) architecture, Picasso Museum, excellent parks, the Nou Camp stadium (you can buy a Smeg refrigerator in FC Barcelona colours), friendly and helpful people, warm in October, cafe society. I could go on. In fact I could live there, no problem.
The image of that fair city is, however, tarnished by some curious restaurant reviews available on the official Barcelona website. Myself and the elegant Senora visited last week. We were enjoying a glass of vino tinto at a pavement cafe when she pulled a sheaf of paper from her bag and presented me with:
Top 10 best restaurants in Barcelona - Dining Guide of Barcelona
from which she detached Nos 1-4 for her own forensic analysis, leaving me with Nos 5-10. On the assumption that I was supposed to read this information with a view to eating somewhere later on, I read it. As follows:
No.5: Cuines Santa Catarina
I didn’t even get round to reading about the food at this place after learning that it is a part of the Tragaluz Group, which boasts that it is
*known for others refined places like: Omm Hotel, Bestial, Negro, Tragaluz, Agua… *
(The bit that worried me the most is bolded for ease of identification.)
It was impossible for me to assess exactly how far the ethos of the Bestial had spread its evil tentacles into the rest of the Tragaluz Group and so, with but a slight tinge of regret, I decided to give the Cuines Santa Catarina the thumbs down and moved on to:
No.6: Noti
Where to begin. Well, here’s the review:
Nice decoration, nice cocktail bar. Lots of design places in (Barcelona) seam to be interesting at first sight. Once seated you get aware of the low key crowd and the cheapness of the decoration. Post 80s is everywhere in the city, just don’t go food it’s never good there. Noti is a real design place, descent set up with a good crowd. Wine prices are very affordable. We had grilled vegetables: please cook them a bit more, cut the ends, put garlic, salt and olive oil and it will be perfect. Fish dishes Bacalao and Rape were OK. Eating here is not an enlightening experience but it’s a nice place to have cocktails and escape from that bridge and tunnel crowd of the city.
For the 6th best restaurant in the city this description is not altogether encouraging. Clearly the message is ‘Whatever you do, don’t eat here’. I might have just have considered it if it hadn’t been for the post 80s thing (anything to escape that awful bridge and tunnel crowd) but my requirements vis-a-vis restaurant decor have become decidedly eccentric with the passing of the years. Good news about the wine though, I’ve got to admit. Over to:
No.7: Comerc 24
At last. A promising beginning:
One of the chicest eateries in town
My taste buds awakened from dormancy at the sight of these words. However:
The interior is quite a failure. A beautiful seventies landscape photograph in the middle of sad grey walls and a silly “drums” lightning system. Service is excellent (sic). Unfortunately, as in many other places, they serve their tiny portions with senseless “salsazigzag” drippings.
Fuck. A perfect ambience spoiled by senseless drippings. My rapidly fading hopes were not revived by this, either:
Eating here can be fun tough.
OK, scrub the Comerc as well, and try:
No.8: Santa Maria
This looked a live prospect at first glance. Creative tapas. Cooks trained by Adrian Ferrara surprising people with their imagination. A ‘discovery menu’. Beautiful people. But note well the following:
(The staff) fall asleep a little on their reputation. Caution.
Any restaurant review containing the word ‘caution’ sets my alarm bells ringing so, almost reluctantly, I look at:
No.9: Escriba
When booking (obligatory because the place is notorious) ask to be outside.
‘Notorious’ is worse than ‘caution’ in my book. How about:
No.10: El Quim
Yeah, right. And I’ll put money on this particular eaterie being absorbed into the Tragaluz Group before you can say ‘Bestial’.
Fortunately the Senora encountered only one example of notorious food on her list, although another restaurant touted the possible presence of King Juan Carlos as an added bonus. Notwithstanding this positive news we eventually ate at a tapas bar round the corner, and excellent food it was too.
To be fair, this website is a disgrace to the city of Barcelona. Somebody needs to contact the webmaster and suggest some minor changes to the English language translation thereof.
I’d do it myself but I need to print a few more copies of the guide first.