Starving Artist.
Setting someone straight.
Surely he’ll deliver.
I’ll just wait.
Burma-Shave
Bravo sir. Bravo.
Tell ya what. If you can describe some way to me in which I can explain yet again that the points I’m raising in this thread are not questions and beliefs I have personally, but rather are questions and beliefs that a person in the population at large might legitimately hold, I might be pursuaded to spend time coming back to this thread. But frankly, Lobohan’s challenge to me is a spurious one. It isn’t up to me to prove the veracity of the ABC article regarding investigations into the location of Obama’s original certificate of birth, nor is it up to me to prove the veracity of any of the other points I’ve raised in regard to it. The reason, you see, is that I’m not arguing my own beliefs but illustrating how the average citizen may legitimately have questions about it. The existence of the ABC article is evidence of that and it stands on its own. It isn’t up to me to prove its veracity, just like it isn’t up to me to pursuade everyone around the country that the issue has been factually settled. All I’m doing is saying people have legitimate reasons to have questions regarding Obama’s birth, and that’s that. But noooo…you people insist on behaving as though each point I raise is one I personally hold to and you insist that I defend it or prove it’s veracity.
So Starvey has decided that he just ain’t gonna play that.
So, you and Lobohan and anyone else who wants to play the same game can take a deep leap into a shallow pond and take your dishonest posting habits with you.
But I mean that in the nicest way possible. 
Isn’t there a goofball with your name on it? Toddle off to bed now, gramps, and dream about a shiny new Hoveround.
Nah, I think maybe I’ll bring a stripper home tonight instead. 
I’d ask you to come along, but there’s a cover charge. And then it’s a dollar each time you tip 'em. And the beer costs money and the waitress has to be tipped. And then it costs money for lap dances if you want some of them. And then there’s the cab ride home ‘cause I dang sure ain’t bringin’ your ass along when we head home. So, you know, you’d need money, and I don’t know if your pantry and landlord could take the hit.
Ah! He finally posted. The moment of truth is upon us. Starving Artist will explain how the concerns he has are valid and reasonable in light of the mountain of evidence against the side he seems to be endorsing but not really because all he is doing is asking questions he doesn’t believe what they are saying in the least no sir he just finds it interesting is all and thinks the questions are valid he’s not taking a stand one way or another.
I’m not saying that **Starving Artist **is dumber than a turnip. All I’m saying is that there are some very reasonable questions about him. I certainly don’t believe that his mother was impregnated by a wallaby while she was eating lead paint chips and drinking turpentine. I just think it’s interesting that he’s never addressed the issue. It’s not my opinion that Starving Artist is so completely devoid of any basic human intelligence that he has ruined nearly every chair he’s ever owned because he lacks even the mental faculties to get up when he needs to use the bathroom. I’m simply saying that some intelligent people (and furniture store employees) are asking some very reasonable questions. That’s all I’m saying.
I’m certainly not saying that Starving Artist can’t make a joke that isn’t a tremendously dated reference…
There are just some people wondering if **Starving Artist **might be the most intellectually dishonest shitweasel on the face of the planet. Possibly the solar system. I’m not taking their side, but I can see the sense in it. The issues they’re raising make a lot of sense. I’ve heard talk that Starving Artist isn’t nearly as clever as he thinks he is. I can see why. Don’t agree with it myself, but I can see why.
Some people think that you meant to say “There are people who mean that in the nicest way possible. I don’t share their opinion myself, but I can see how they would feel that way.”
See? You did it again. You just did it again. I have no concerns. I’m not weighing evidence. And I don’t think it’s particularly interesting. For me, it’s a non-issue. How many times do I have to say that?
Meh. It fits with “Starvey”, what can I say? But, if you’re really looking to talk about dated references and played out jokes, you’d be a lot better off talking to elucidator. 
That’s okay, they’re probably mentally deficient in other ways as well.
But I mean that in the nicest way possible. 
This is where you run off the rails. They are not legitimate reasons nor legitimate questions. Obama has born in Hawaii, and there is proof that he was born in Hawaii.
Say anything? Have you said anything? I know other people have said things. You? You don’t say things. Other people have said things. Reasonable people have said reasonable things. They’ve asked questions. Reasonable questions. Not you though. You don’t care about these things. You just think that there are reasons for these things to have been said…by other people.
I haven’t done anything. Other people have. I’m just saying that there are reasons for people to have done things. I haven’t even posted in this thread. Other people have, and I can easily see why they have posted in this thread. There are perfectly valid and reasonable reasons for people to post in threads. But I haven’t posted in this thread.
sigh
Well, that’s kind of my reaction to you. You go ahead and characterize the questions born out of willfull ignorance and blind stupidity as legitimate all you like. It says as much about you as it does about those asking the questions.
Jackie the nurse and Jim Bob the automechanic come home from work, and in between getting dinner on the table and making sure the kids are doing homework, they hear ABC News broadcast an article stating that Governor Abercrombie has launched an investigation into the whereabouts of Barack Obama’s original long form birth certificate, and he vows he’s going to look at it personally to put all the speculation to rest. His investigation shows the document exists, but it is unclear whether the object found is the document itself or another document pointing to it.
Hmmm…they say. What’s up with Obama’a birth certificate? Why can’t they find it? Why is the governor having to investigate its location, and what does it mean that they either found it or they found a document pointing to it? Doesn’t whoever found it know what it is? And why hasn’t Abercrombie gone and looked at it, if it’s been found.
“You know, Jackie,” says Jim Bob. I think Obama’s a pretty good guy and all, but what’s with all this “investigation” stuff, and why don’t they know whether they found it or not? And how come Abercrombie hasn’t said anything about seeing it since this report was made, you know, since he was gonna settle it for once and all and everything."
“I don’t know,” says Jackie. “Do you want a beer with that…Johnny! Stop pestering your sister!” Anyway, you want a beer with your pork chops and beans?"
“Yeah, I guess so,” says Jim Bob. “We gotta hurry up and eat though. Debbie’s play is at 7:30 and we promised her we’d be there.”
So you see, Frank, there are perfectly good reasons why people might not be as up to date on the issue as people who live on the Straight Dope. And those people may certainly develop questions, and perhaps might find those questions becoming mysteries or suspicions, given enough inconclusive or contradictory reporting on the issue.
A large part of the problem with this board is that everyone expects the rest of the country to be as up on things as people are here, and they aren’t. Simple as that.
So you are saying that concern troll is concerned?
How about this: Jackie and Bill come home to news reports that The “long form” birth certificate has been released.
Bill listens to Fox News which complains loudly that in forcing the release of the document Obama has violated state laws “for his own agenda” and warns that by forcing the release of this document he will doubtless be messing with other state sovereign laws. 1/2 later a talking head on Fox complains “why did he take so long? What was he hiding?”
Bill flips to MSNBC where they complain that Obama has now pandered to a bunch of nutcases and spent a modest amount of political capital to do so.
Jackie is on the internet where several prominent bloggers ‘reveal’ that the copy of the long form has been photoshopped as revealed by their ‘Photoshop expert’ (their nephew Timmy, who has a cracked copy of Elements 4.0). This blogger claims it is faked, but others claims that the entry for ‘religion’, which is ‘required by every state law’ according to the bloggers, is missing because it originally said ‘Whitey-hating Muslim Xtremist’.
Back on TV, Fox is giving time to Orly Taitz and the traitorous, cowardly officers who refused orders on the basis of Birther claims. They effectively scream “I told you so” and the host humors them. It is not clear what they were telling us since they have just been shown to be wrong. Orly files 30 more lawsuits that day.
Well done, and Bravo!
I think the young people enjoy it when Starving Artist “gets down” verbally, don’t you?
CMC fnord!
In the movie version of this thread Starving Artist will be played by Severn Darden.
I’m just not sure if I should thank you for making the thread funnier or hate you for forever associating, in my mind, Severn Darden with Starving Artist.
I really hope no one has to look up what movie that line is from, that would make me very sad.
“Sir, let me take this moment to compliment you on your fashion sense, particularly your slippers.”
If Obama released this mysterious long form that SA cries about, SA would say it is not long enough.
No, he would say, SOME say it’s not long enough…
Really? The hypothetical depiction of Joe Six-Pack and his american family? On the plus side, at least you finally said something. Somethings stupid sure, but something.
Oh. It’s because people on the Straight Dope aren’t real people. We don’t know what the average Jim Bob on the street has been made aware of.
And guess what? You’re part of the problem in that you are one of those cowardly jackasses that thinks a refusal to take a side (Fact and Fiction being the two sides in this case) is somehow indicative of intelligence and reason. Worse, you and your oddly coifed god are certainly not helping people become more educated on the topic. You’re actually making it worse by purposefully spreading disinformation. Congratulations. I have to ask. Were people such dishonest little turds back in the golden age, or is the lack of intellectual honesty on yours and Trumps part the fault of liberals as well?
Also, given the huge amounts of information available in this particular chunk of human history, a lack of information is no excuse. Just because someone is too lazy and or stupid to fucking google something does not mean that there is a good reason for them to be completely ignorant. It doesn’t make the concerns about something you have no intention of being educated on reasonable or understandable.
I do believe that would be their fault, not ours. I do the whole average life bit as well with the whole working and children thing, and still manage to actually know things.
That’s also so insanely patronizing an idea that I’m shocked you thought it was a good idea to type that. That the poor Jackies and Jim Bobs of the world are just too busy to actually process information that they hear on the news or to look for more information. Even more insulting is that the person that this thread is about is so completely far from Jackie and Jim Bob. Donald Trump doesn’t have somebody that can google something?
You have to be the single dumbest son of a bitch I have ever come across, and I’m including myself in that so you know the bar is pretty damned low.
Of course, all of the above is stuff I’ve heard. I don’t necessarily agree with them. I just think they have good reason to feel that way.
I have to admit this is a good post (and about 80 I.Q. points above Harborwolf’s). And a scenario equally if not more plausible than mine. Just remember though that the two are not mutually exclusive, and it’s still perfectly reasonable for people like Jackie and Jim Bob to wonder what’s going on with Obama’s birth certificate.
Its even more reasonable for Jackie and Jim Bob to start wondering what the heck is wrong with some people. Several very prominent conservative talking heads have already come out as saying Birtherism is batcrap crazy - and these aren’t exactly the voices of the moderates on Fox (Coulter, Beck). Then they see prominent, albeit publicity seeking Republican candidates making this into an issue (Trump, Palin). Meanwhile the President doesn’t seem to be paying too much attention to the subject, liberal, moderate, and a lot of conservative media are saying its crazy talk.
If Jackie and Jim Bob were hard-set against Obama to being with this will just be a sideshow they can ignore. But if Birtherism keeps getting too much attention then the swing-vote versions of Jackie and Jim-Bob could decide they really, really do not like the level of crazy that select elements of the Republican party. They might see how officers in the military have refused orders based on this gibberish and how crazy lawyers have abused the court system with their fantasies.
Liberal commentators and representatives (the so-called “gatekeepers”) did a very good job of keeping the 9/11 nutcases out of the mainstream and political process (and yes, despite some folks apologetics there were far more left-wing truthers than right-wing). Conservative commentators are trying to put a lid on this, but too many of them let it play early on hoping for a few cheap points. Now it has built up to many enablers to shoo away, and I suspect that it is not going to effect the President - except that it may end up biting the Republicans in the ass.
I would not be thinking in terms of: ‘this is a Problem for the President’. Think in terms of ‘if this gets too big everyone is going to see how stupid it is as wonder why so many prominent candidates are trying to make an issue out of it’.