I’ve used Quicken 2000 to track my finances for, oh, about four years now. It is reasonably good software and allows me to download my bank, credit card and investment statements.
So a couple of weeks ago I fire up Quicken to do my monthly bookkeeping and am greeted with the following message:
As of April 20, 2004 for Quicken 98 and 99 users, and May 18, 2004 for Quicken 2000 users, online services will no longer be available. Online services include bill pay; downloading financial data from your bank, credit union, credit card, brokerage, or mutual fund accounts; downloading stock quotes, news headlines, and other financial information into Quicken; and uploading portfolio information from Quicken to Quicken.com. Attempting to use online features and services after these dates will result in the Quicken program returning various error messages.
Q: What do I need to do to maintain my online services?
A: You will need to upgrade to Quicken 2004.
Q: Why will online services no longer be available for older versions of Quicken?
A: Intuit is committed to delivering the best possible products, services and security to our customers. Retiring older versions of the product allows us to focus our resources on more effectively supporting our newer products, which are used by the vast majority of Quicken customers.
This is the biggest fucking steaming load I’ve ever heard. You don’t want to support my software any more, fine. Why does that mean you have to stop my software from working? My bank knows how to send me data in Quicken 2000 format, I have the software to read it, what gives you assholes the right to fuck it up? Oh, wait, you’re giving me a $20 discount if I upgrade? Ooh, I’m so grateful. You fucking dicks.
Oh, by the way, all those cars I designed that you people at Intuit drive? I don’t feel like supporting them any more. It just doesn’t pay to keep printing all those service manuals and making spare parts for your '96 Accord. It’s taking my attention away from my newer customers; I’m sure you’ll have no trouble making a small sacrifice to keep them happy. So on Monday morning, your car will no longer start. You have the option to upgrade to a new car. I’ll even knock $200 off the sticker price.
Goddamn polesmoking cockrockets. I am seriously considering calling my state’s Attorney General.