Sorry, but something about that headline cracks me up. Sad thing is, the woman was injured worse than him - she’s still in critical condition & may not make it.
My BIL used to love fireworks - he was a teenager, what would you expect. He’d been hoarding them all spring, buying boxes of illegal thises & thatses from some outfit in the Dakotas, but by summer had lit many of 'em.
In late summer we had ourselves an extravaganza.
I, being the paranoid type, insisted on having a bucket of water handy just in case. And it did come into play when one of the rockets took a sharp left, impaling itself in an evergreen in what has since become known as “the burning bush episode”.
But the best part was the chrysanthemum he left for last. I suspect that’s what this inebriated bozo had. BIL set his in the middle of their dead-end street, lit the fuse, stepped back, and
BOOM!
I felt it from my sternum to my kneecaps. The whole world was full of orange streaks.
Wanna know what can happen when you mix drinking and fireworks? I’ll tell ya what can happen…
A certain moron, who shall go unnamed, can decide it’d be a reaaaaal hoot to take the ventilation cover off the air duct in your hotel room and shoot bottle rockets through it! Yeah, ha ha, real fucking funny, making people shit themselves when the nice, loud BANG!! reverberates through the air duct way down the hall from you…Ya dipshit.
Yeah, I know…but I was young and stupid. Oh, and drunk. Really drunk. :o
The article says she’s been upgraded to fair condition, so presumably she’s ok.
This is why I never bust out the big artillery when I’ve been drinking. That stuff is seriously dangerous. I wouldn’t use even a 2" shell lightly. On the other hand I’ve had plenty of fun with the small stuff (black cats, bottle rockets) after a beer or four.
Heh. I remember one New Year’s Eve, when myself, The Composer, and John all got drunk and played with fireworks. We were smart enough to play with them outside, though. We did, however, get bored with them about halfway through the big box of them, rather than putting them aside for use at another time, we started lighting cascade fireworks, and throwing them in the box, trying to get them all to go off. The best part, however, was the running commentary the three of us were doing while all this was going on:
Me: Now, this is really stupid.
John: It’s definately not a good idea.
The Composer: That’s why we’re doing this, so that you can see just how stupid it is, and won’t be tempted to do it yourself.
And it went on like that for about an hour, until we finally did run out of fireworks.
I’m dying here. The state I live in says fireworks are illegal. The neighborhood kids know different. I usually have something or another in my pockets for entertainment while sitting around a fire. Drunk as I might have been once or twice the idea of lighting anything in my house leaves me with my mouth agape in awe of the stupidity.
I’ve made my own in a friends delapated detached garage just in case something dumb were to happen. Never in a house.
I’m excited 59 days until the party. Soon three of my friends and I will drive to an undisclosed location that has a buy one get one free sale. With other money given to us by other party attendee’s we think we’ll have over a thousand dollars this year.
Our typical dispaly lasts almost an hour. With three guys lighting fuses we always have at least one thing going at any time. Never any dead air. Our goal is to repeat what happened last year. We had cars stopping on the side of the road to watch!