Don't FUCK with my pencils!

The BBQ Pit
1

When a math geek lends you his penultimate pencil during exams, do not fuck it up! Please realize that people like me are extremely particular about the kind of pencil we use: Bic, .7, 2B, WITHOUT A FUCKING LOPSIDED ERASER!

It’s bad enough that I had to go hunting around your desk to find it, after searching my pseudocubicle high and low! The eraser’s main surface now holds an angle of less than 2 radians to the axis of the pencil!

Please respect the fact that during exams, I work in 20 hour stretches, and this makes me particularly sensitive about having to adapt my modus operandi in any way!

Furiously rubs eraser down to a decent angle before final begins

Surely there are one or two geeks out there who appreciate my feelings!

2

Probably. But I bet they don’t lend out their prize pencils.
:smiley:

3

[Spike Milligan]"You could be a Hamlet pencil, 2B or not 2B … " [/Spike Milligan]
I’ll get me coat.

4

Well HB is acceptable for .7, but absolutely not .5!

And for chrissake, the pencil’s got to have some give to it… not like those terrible Zebras.

5

“Wow, you’ve got your name on your pencils! Just like a pencil company executive!”

(grabbing it back) “Yes. Well, any office supply company can have them made up…”

“Can I have this one?”

“No.”

“Can…Lenny have this one?”

6

Oh no! I think I’ve been Grimed! :smiley:

7

or, in the case of the eraser, “Ay, there’s the rub…”

8

[Bruce McCullough] “My pen! You’ve…got…my…PEN!!” [/Bruce McCullough]

9

You’re complaining about asymmetry?

I once had a co-worker who used the eraser-end of the pencils on my desk to clean her fucking ears. I had no idea what was going on, for a while… the erasers just didn’t seem to work until you rubbed them down a bit. Then I found a “fresh” one. Then I caught her in the act. Subhuman.

That being said, I only opened this thread because I was hoping it contained scenes of graphite sexuality.

10

HEY! You leave Zebra out of this!

:smiley:

11

Wouldn’t that cause lead poisoning?

12

Hey, it’s tha H-Dog!

13

I recommend suitable punishment which may include but is not limited to the following:

  • Cover them in burning pitch
  • Boil the offender in hot oil
  • Force him/her to listen to New Kids on the Block for 24 hours
  • Request they be hung drawn and quartered asap

In the meantime learn from this valuable lesson and never lend your pencils again.

:smiley:

14

Ugh… I swapped the eraser with a straight one from an old pencil… but it didn’t help me! That was the hardest fucking exam I’ve ever written in my entire life.