I am not going to turn left in the path of an oncoming car just so you can reach your destination 90 seconds earlier!!! If you’re an impatient fucknut and you get upset when your car doesn’t make forward progress for a whole 35 seconds, scream and rage and pull your hair out all you want! Don’t pollute my ears with your annoying BEEEEEEP noises! Keep your insanity to yourself!!! Do you think you are so important that the whole world has to do what you want it to do exactly as you wish it? Well, la-de-da, Mr. King of the Universe! No, wait. Let’s tally up the score, shall we?
Me: A considerate, law-abiding citizen; 10 points.
I hear ya, man. Recently I had an old man making hand gestures, encouraging me to get into the wrong lane (out of the left turn lane) so he could get into an illegal lane (the left turn lane of oncoming traffic) and perhaps save himself several seconds of valuable time.
I had an old lady behind me one day, honking that I wasn’t making an illegal right on red so that I could move 50 feet to the next light, which was also red, and which always turns green the exact same time as the light I was sitting at. (10 additional points if you followed that)
When we both finally made it through the lights, she passed me and gave me the finger :eek:
Oh lord. I HATE that long, annoying, obnoxious “blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat” of someone trying to force you to do something illegal and/or unsafe.
Even more annoying is the “blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat” if you don’t simultaneously transport yourself from stopped to several car lengths down the road the NANO second the light turns green.
I don’t mind if it’s one of those rare occasions where I slip into daydreaming, and it’s a polite little “bleep, blep” to let me know it’s green. I’m talking about those times when it turns green, and as I’m moving my foot from the brake to the gas pedal some moron just HAS to let me know that I’ve not moved my car out of his all important way fast enough.
When I’m king of the world, people who drive slow, refuse to turn for fear of an oncoming car that’s a block away, and have no respect for my time (it’s my 90 seconds; how dare you waste it) will not have licenses.
Saw something hilarious one morning while waiting for the bus. Two cars pull to a stop (one behind the other). Driver at the rear starts honking impatiently at the front driver. Mind you the front driver had JUST STOPPED and the second driver will get to move forward 15 feet AND THEN STOP so what’s the point of honking at all? Front driver wasn’t sitting there knitting or anything, she’d barely had a chance to pause.
Front driver turned off her engine, got out, walked over to the rear driver and commenced to chew him out politely. I stood there laughing.
And I shall be right behind your throne waiting to assassinate you. Then I shall kill all the joggers and cyclists who feel the need to run or ride 4 abreast on city streets.
The honkers aren’t as prevalent around here; in fact, I’ve found I have to give people snoozing at a green light a good five seconds before giving a gentle toot unless I want to get treated like a pariah. The slower pace of life or some such.
But in a cheerier vein, Papa Tiger saw a truly brilliant case of karma actually doing its thing the other day. We live just across the Mississippi from New Orleans, and there’s a big bridge with an 11-booth-wide toll plaza, and an entrance ramp fairly close to the toll plaza. Some idiot raced around Papa Tiger to beat him to the entrance ramp to the bridge the other day, swerving so hard he nearly spun out; then at the top of the ramp he swung all the way across to the far left toll tag lane (there are 6 toll tag lanes spread out across the toll plaza). Then, approaching the toll plaza, he saw that there were no cars in the far right-hand toll tag lane, whereas there were all of 1 or 2 in each of the others, so without even a moment’s hesitation he took a hard right all the way across six lanes of oncoming traffic to get to the lane he wanted.
The policeman who’s always parked right there by the toll plaza was on the move as soon as he took his turn, and had the patrol car pulled horizontally across the exit side of the toll tag lane to block it by the time the idiot pulled into it.
