I googled my screen name and the word “um” for this message board. Here is the wall of shame or imprudence. I will bold the word um where needed.
That wasn’t directed against a poster, but rather at a kickstarter project. Probably ok (???)
That seems ok to me, and way not ok to others. Or so I guess.
Not helpful, but mainly due to vagueness.
Ok, here’s where I apparently messed up due to cluelessness. I’ll present the exchange.
I certainly did not think Achernar was an idiot and am fully capable of making a similar mistake. It’s easy to do. I was trying to be conversational and even polite. I suppose I may have wanted a “Wake up” word of some sort, but there was absolutely nothing dumb about what I was responding to.
Proposed expression: “Just to clarify”. Then add softener at the end. I dunno.
I put “um” or “well” into a post because I’m trying to say something other than a simple contradiction to a statement that another poster has made. I do the same thing in speech. I use hesitations because I’m trying to introduce my objections in the most hesitant way possible. I use them a lot in speech too because I’m frequently trying to disagree with someone without getting them angry. If you’re 4’11" like me, you can either make your disagreements in the most hesitant way possible, or you can never disagree with anyone you talk to about anything (and that’s pretty difficult), or you can get occasionally beaten up by the people you disagree with, or you can just never talk to anyone.
For what it’s worth, I draw a distinction in text between “Um” (You’re an idiotic mouthbreathing peasant) and “Erm”, which has stronger connotations of “Excuse me, if I might make an observation at this point…”
Both should, I would suggest, be avoided altogether where possible, though.
Let me just note that while in Australian English there is a distinction between “um” and “erm” as hesitation words, there is no such distinction in American English. “Erm” isn’t pronounced in American English, which is rhotic, as it is in Australian English, which is non-rhotic. The closest I can get to explaining it to an Australian is that an American trying to pronounce the spelling “erm” would produce something that you would spell as “errrrrm”. To an American, your pronunciations of “um” and “erm” would sound pretty much indistinguishable:
I suppose I may have wanted a “Wake up” word of some sort, but there was absolutely nothing dumb about what I was responding to.