orgasmatron finally here

[Duck_Duck_Goose]

Um, beg to differ. Has not “been invented”. Is “in the process of being researched” if he ever gets any funding. Notice the words “could offer”, “could allow”, “could begin”, and “could be”.

A medical implant in the works could offer women a chance to experience orgasms with the press of a button.

For the electronic orgasm device to work, a physician would implant electrodes into the spine and a small signal generator in the skin under the buttocks. A patient would then control the sensation with a handheld remote control.

Stuart Meloy, the North Carolina doctor seeking a patent for the device, thinks it could allow women with orgasmic dysfunction to resume normal sex lives.

Reports of similar medical cases convinced him that the phenomenon could be reproduced.

Clinical trials could begin later this year if Meloy receives funding from a major medical implant manufacturer. Scientific studies have already demonstrated the safety of the device, he said, since it uses off-the-shelf technology.

Meloy has not tested the device on men, but said it should work the same way for them as for women.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled debate on The Ethics of the Orgasmatron.

People have known for years that you could implant electrodes in rats’ brains and teach them to push the lever to get an orgasm, and that they’ll keep on pushing the lever to the exclusion of all else, until they starve to death. So what’s new here? Installing it in women? Ooo, the wonderful myth of the cyborg nymphomaniac, except that in this variant of the story, she doesn’t need a man, she needs a battery… I can see where that would be very threatening to the male power structure, so no, I don’t see this gadget coming into widespread use at all. As a matter of fact, I seriously doubt it’ll ever get much farther than the CNN story.

Speaking as a female, I’d like to point out that IMHO, half the fun of an orgasm is getting there. An orgasm isn’t something like taking a vitamin pill, where you check it off your list for the day. “Push the button, okay, I’m done, what’s next?”

And as for installing it in men, it was my understanding that after a guy <ahem> experiences orgasm after a certain number of times in a row, it just starts to hurt. Do you guys really want to come so much it hurts?

So I’m putting myself in the shoes (so to speak) of a woman who’s in bed with a guy with one of these installed. Nice, huh? All he has to do is push the button and he’s done. But the article doesn’t say, “Push the button and you’ll have a nice long-lasting erection and can go all night”, it says, “Push the button and you’ll ejaculate, boom.” So from my perspective, what’s the point? Why should I go to bed with this guy? Oh, sure, if he’s the hubby with ED problems, I’ll be grateful that modern science can come up with a way to let him have his fun, too, but for the Girl On The Street (so to speak), what’s in it for her?

And for the guy without ED, again, why would you want one? Mother Nature pushes the button for you. It doesn’t say anything about delaying ejaculation, only triggering it.

I’d also like to point out that the article doesn’t say, “This will give a woman an orgasm”. What it says is:

Patients in such operations remain conscious to help surgeons place the electrodes in the best locations to relieve chronic pain. And in this case the woman exclaimed emphatically when Meloy missed the right spot.

“I asked her what that was and she said, ‘You’re going to have to teach my husband to do that,’” he said.

This doesn’t sound like an orgasm to me. It sounds like “about one-third of the way up Eve’s Mountain” to me. I don’t merely “exclaim emphatically” and then say mildly, “Oh, you’ll have to teach my husband to do that”, when I <ahem> experience an orgasm. I think that this Dr. Meloy’s just stumping for research funding, and CNN is happy to assist him in his quest.