So, my sister died.
Which is actually ok, because as much as I’ll miss her and loved her, she was in tons and tons of pain. She was hurting and tired. She had diabetes, some vein eating disease which I can’t remember the name of, and coronary problems. Her legs had been amputated and it was only a matter of time which illness would finish her off first. She had already passed the date her doctors had given her to live and for each month after, made a “Kiss my ass, I’m still alive” cake. She told the family to get a discount on her cremation, since there was only half of her left. She told them to put her in a mason jar, because an urn was too big. She was awesome and lovely and I’ll miss her like crazy.
Now, the back story. My incubator is a crazy, pathological liar. She’s addicted to painkillers or any other thing she can get her hands on at the time. Unfortunately, we are still related. See, her mother adopted me, so officially, she’s my sister. Yes, yes, make all the redneck jokes you want. In my family, most of them are true.
Anyway, I flew back to the States, to Arizona, picked up my Mom, sister and brother-in-law and we drove to Oklahoma to go to my sister’s funeral. Sadly, this is also where the incubator lives. I visited her last Christmas and there was a bit of a meltdown. See, her son, whom I still call brother, is married to a woman I hadn’t met before. The incubator had told me all kinds of evil things about her. Lots. I mean, I was really prepared to hate this woman. Ha! She was lovely and we fit together like two peas in a pod. I mean, we were so similar in so many ways, it was like finding a real sister that I actually get along with. I also realized that if I were this woman and my mother-in-law was spreading all of these sick lies around the family, I’d want to know about it and put a stop to it. And I was right. I let her know what was going on and left it to her. Her husband (my brother) had a talk with his father who then told the incubator. Which was fine with me as well, let them handle it.
But then the incubator continues to lie and sends the nastiest email to me, my mother and my sister, accusing us of conspiring against her, telling vicious lies about her and trying to ruin her family. Um, huh? No, this was all me and I only did it to stop the malice against a lovely young woman I care about. But inc. calls us all a bunch of names and blah-blah-blah. For me, whatever. But, this hurt my mother and sister deeply. She has manipulated and lied about so many things to me since I can even first recall, and if I never talk with her again, my heart won’t break. So, I’ve had no contact with her.
Until the funeral.
I had already decided that this funeral was about my sister and supporting her family in their grief. To say goodbye. There was going to be no other drama and I wouldn’t have a fight scene or anything else crazy to do with inc. I would be civil if we had to speak, but would otherwise avoid any confrontation. Oh, brother. At the funeral home, she’s being dramatic as possible and upon seeing me, comes over, throws herself on me and starts," Oh, I love you, baby. I love you so much. I love you…" Blah, you get the picture. She’s been bad-mouthing me, Mom and sister for months and now all of a sudden, “I love you?”
No. HELL, no! I’m sorry you’re hurting and tired and grief-stricken, but that does not erase the past. You’ve lied to me all my life and when I finally confront it, you try to cover it with more lies and now it’s all over because you’re sad? A little teary-eyed? And that makes everything better and I should just rush into your arms and we cry together and make up like we’re in a stupid movie?
ARGH!!!