Dope lawyers: Do demons have legal rights in the US?

So, before she moved in, Melania Trump had a team exorcise the White House of the demons brought in by the Clintons and the Obamas. Because apparently the demons have legal right to stay at a location as long as their artifacts are present. So if a demon is kicked out of a location without having his stuff removed, does he have standing to sue in US courts?

That sounds just like her crazy ass. But, I am more afraid of the crap Trump flushes. The sewer system in D.C. will never survive!

Demons have the same rights as ghosts and zombies.

Before we all get too excited, everyone please note that the article quoted in the OP mentions that the claim (and the claimer) has zero credibility.

(I got too excited with my original response.)

Angels, demons, and other spiritual beings do not count as “persons” under U.S. law. Otherwise, demonic binding rituals would be a violation of the 13th Amendment.

The Conservative commentator seems a bit confused about what “laws” actually mean here. While it’s “true” (if you believe in this claptrap) that demons & spiritual energies will often to a physical totem, and it’s imperative to dispose of that totem in order to dispose of the demon, that function does not operate under democratic law or any kind of human-based law. It’s like rolling a rock downhill – the rock’s gonna roll, even if Congress passes a law forbidding it to do so.

Demons have the best lawyers to represent them.

If a demon filed suit against me, I’d probably be sufficiently freaked out to settle quickly.

Of course, they are represented by Devil’s Advocates.

Hey. They prefer “metabolically-impaired.” :mad: