Very similar story from me - when the kids were quite young I was working a LOT to make my mark and get promoted and then I started getting every freaking virus in existance.
The big thing for me was to sleep, regularly and to find a routine that allowed me to shut off my brain so I actually could sleep.
To allow time for that I hired a cleaning lady to deal with the big jobs and made a list of things that needed to be done regularly and stopped checking if they were done on my schedule and/or to my standards. Things got done but I had to let go of them being done my way or I would have continued to be stressed and the help I was getting would stop. It took a lot of tongue biting but it was a good investment in future happiness.
I kept telling myself it was temporary and I’d care more after the kids were in middle school, or in jr. high, or in university or moved out, but having reached each of these milestones I’m pretty comfortable with the laid back version of me. I’m still obsessed at work, but after years of practice, unless there is something unusual going on I’ve perfected the art of walking out the door and leaving it there until morning. It was a major personality shift and it took a lot of time to accomplish but holy cow it’s amazing for my sanity.