Ooh! I vote for “the short sleeved shrug and the even hemline” dress. Looking at the photo you posted, you’ve got a great figure and I’d bet this gown would look great on you.
It’ll also go well with the hat.
What? 
When the hell did you two get engaged? Did I sleep through that?
Anyway,
You could give this site a try. I screwed around with it a bit. I think you would look great with the Portrait neckline. It would show off your nice arms and shoulders while not showing too much back or cleavege or sternum.
Out of the ones you chose, I like the poofy one with the fugly pattern (solid color - definitely!)
I would love to see you in something like this.
I think something like this is the best look for you though. It isn’t floor length but I’ve been to a bridal store recently enough to know you could find one that was. But anyway, it doesn’t show huge amounts of cleveage and I think your arms would look great. It looks like it would be very comfortable in the heat. AND you could definitely wear it again, especially if you dye it. If you found a longer version for the wedding, you could have it altered (shortened) for less formal events. The wrap appearance should help your boobs look bigger and that combined with the pretty flared (slightly) skirt might help with you not thinking your waist is small enough (which it certainly is!).
Anyway, you have a lovely figure and you will look beautiful in whatever you pick. I’ve found that weak shoulders or arms can make or break an otherwise perfect dress. You have perfect shoulders and arms.
On preview: Oh my god. I don’t think I’ve ever sounded so girly in all my life. Don’t any of you dare tell anyone. 
I must keep telling myself…
I will not get facials
I will not start wearing makeup
I will not start styling my hair
I will continue to wear heals but only if they fall in the fuck-me category.
I will continue to swear like a sailor
Must get more tattoos
Must get another piercing
I will stop watching What not to Wear
I will not wear frilly dresses!!!
The first dress is probably best for your body type, although I love love love the OdlR. Go try on a lot of dresses, prom dresses if you want to avoid the evil bridal industry. I was Mother Of The Bride for a friend 5 years older than myself because she had no family at all. Not being classically beautiful or young, she was getting discouraged by her bridal shopping alone—no one would help her! She would go afternoons in sweats and be ignored.
Humph.
Cyn in the bridal shops is a whole other thread!
You’ll make a gorgeous bride.
I just had to chime in to say I was married at the John Rutledge House Inn! Not the courtyard (it was a December wedding) but the parlor of one of the suites. The inn is lovely. And possibly lucky, as the marriage took. 
Congratulations.
WOW! Tiny world, eh? (I’m a Detroiter, dontcha know.) Do you remember what the courtyard looked like? Do you have any pictures I can see from your wedding? Can I ask you LOTS of annoying questions that the staff seem too busy to answer?
How did you folks pick the Inn? And why am I hijacking my own thread??
That houseofbrides link is e-vill. I want all of them. And they’re freaking affordable as well, though wholly non-refundable.
Ok! You’ve got a good figure for a range of styles, and I think if you’re concerned about your back you can totally do a small shrug with a straight-across strapless, or something similar. That also seems like the kind of style out of your choices most likely to be used again (although floor-length makes that harder).
I’d go for the short shrug/even hemline in your original choices, or possibly something like these (i just picked through that above link a bit):
http://www.houseofbrides.com/product.php?productid=688&cat=524&page=2# (great for good shoulders, and if it’s not white it may work some other time of the year)
http://www.houseofbrides.com/product.php?productid=3035&cat=536&page=1 (maybe with a shorter shrug if you like, but this seems ok for re-use)
http://www.houseofbrides.com/product.php?productid=18753&cat=536&page=3 (I don’t know what the back looks like, but hopefullly not too low…ruching in the front makes for an empireish silhouette and builds up the chest a little without calling too much attention to it)
http://www.houseofbrides.com/product.php?productid=1833&cat=530&page=1 (alternative to go under a shrug)
I’d probably wouldn’t do the one-shoulder, it’d be hard to re-use long and in a light color and with a slim silhouette it seems to need height.
If you’re worried about your middle I’d go with some contouring undies. Don’t want to feel like you have to suck in on such a happy day 
For colors, maybe a champagne or antique cream? Or maybe blue, if your skin isn’t too red. Not too saturated a color. Just throwing my 2 pennies out there!
I LOVE this! The color is yummy and it’s a wonderful cut.
I also like the first one best. Have you looked here at the dresses? There are some GORGEOUS gowns there. There are one or two designs there that aren’t too far off (IMO) from some you’ve linked. I don’t know what your budget is, but at the least they are worth looking at just to admire. I like the Restoration gown, and the Renaissance gowns myself. The Directoire gown would be nicest, without the pearls IMO. I wonder if they’d custom make it without?
ETA: This one might be one you’d like as well.
I can’t resist pointing out the Art Nouveau design from the site I linked as well. It doesn’t show cleavage, but shows the shoulders, and the straps are so pretty, and NOT sphaghetti! ETA: Ok, without the drapes they are spheghetti, bother! Hmm, well a jacket or shrug worn instead of the drapes might be ok if you don’t like the drapes? I like them, myself.
Good Lord, lady! You could wear sackcloth and be the most beautiful bride ever! But I still vote for #1. I think #4 will just overwhelm your small frame, as well as be pretty much impossible to reuse.
Do you have your own camera you could bring to the store with you? (Preferably digital) You could try on some dresses and take pictures of yourself in front of the mirror. That would give you a reference to look at later, and you could share them online easily for us to take a gander at.
As for the ones you linked, I’m most fond of the first two.
Yes, I think I am coming around to #1 too. You can carry off a more fitted and petite dress–go for it.
I don’t have a useful opinion, as I think you’ll look beautiful in them all. Although I agree that the one with the shrug, while very flattering now, will become a little dated in a few years if you’re thinking about reuse.
No, I just stopped in to offer my congratulations!
I did not know that! Michiganders REPRESENT! Or something like that.
I used a wedding planner for some of the details, and she suggested it. I don’t remember the courtyard, as I don’t think we even looked at it. I visited the Inn in September and then again (obviously) for our wedding in December, but that’s it. I’d be happy to answer questions but I have to say I did minimal work with the Inn. We just skated in, got married, had the reception elsewhere, and just we stayed one night (we were at the Planter’s Inn the rest of the time).
Email me at kzm123@gmail.com and I’ll stop boring everyone else with my one-on-one wedding talk.
But the beer will, right?
Seriously, congratulations.
I have drop-in out-of-town guests until Saturday so I haven’t been able to respond like I ought to. I want to say that I’m thrilled with all the responses and nice things all of you have had to say and great ideas you’ve imparted.
Tripler and I thank all of you who have congratulated us! We’re happy and weird together and that’s what counts.
Great ideas on other dresses, they’re all lovely; I don’t know how I’ll choose one in the next 4 months! I know I need to decide soon.
Guess one of my next steps is to speak with the seamstress and ask her if she prefers making a dress or altering a purchased one. There’s no telling from their website how true to size the houseofbrides dresses are.
I don’t know if I’d be able to take a camera into the stores, the one I worked at didn’t allow it. I’ll call ahead.
Thank you also for the compliments; I’m not as light now as I was then, but I shall endeavor to return to that figure in time for the wedding.
You Dopers are great!
I’d be careful about this style. IMHO this cut looks fine until the minute you try to move around, and then it looks awful. The others have a similar line to the skirt, but they seem to be more flowing and less fitted down the legs and I think they’d move a LOT better.
Muslin. That’s what I’ve done in the past making wedding gowns or anything out of really expensive fabrics. Get the dress made out of the cheap stuff, and get it fit right before making it out of the !!! expensive stuff.
I like the first dress very, very much. And as one of the only people here who’s met you (I think?), what I say goes. 
And, CONGRATULATIONS HOLY COW BIG NEWS!
Howzabout da beer?
I really like the first dress.
Hmm, that’s a good point.