in my opinon, there seem to be four kinds of people:
1 ones that like and need visits from people when they are ill
2. those that like best to be left alone, except for closests ones.
people who don’t really like visiting the really ill;
People who see it as a kind of gracious duty to visit the ill.
Problems arise when the social ill get left alone. Or if the withdrawn ill get visited by either kind of visitor.
Am I right? Personally, I would be the kind of withdrawn ill person.
Yet a friend of mine at work, a real social butterfly, was deeply hurt when she was ill with a ruptured appendix for two weeks and none of her co-workers came or sent cards.
My mother is a social butterfly, but she has a complicated relationship with her long-term illnesses.
On one hand, she thinks that people should make allowances for her because she’s sick.
On the other, she refused to accept disability when it was offered to her. She hates looking bad. She never dresses or makes herself up more carefully than when she has a doctor visit. She gets mad when she’s pimped up, taken an extra dose of painkillers, and someone runs into her in the street and tells her she looks great… uh, Mom, you made an effort to look great; “but I am not!” (In Spanish, the same expression can mean “look good” and “look healthy”)
So, when she was in specially bad health, the last thing she wanted was visits from people who weren’t already very close to her. Her two closest friends were admitted all the way in; the neighbors? Hell no.
Me, the closest to “seriously sick” I’ve been was having my tonsils out when I was 10. I had conversations via an erasable board and ate nothing but flan and vanilla ice cream for three weeks; visits were well received if they brought a book I hadn’t read yet. Otherwise, yeah, go speak with the grown-ups, I’m busy dreaming of food you need to cut…
I’m surprised you didn’t even send a card. I’d be hurt, too. I wouldn’t expect anybody to visit - you’re just coworkers - but damnit, a card would have really made my day.
As for me, I don’t really want you to visit me, but do think of me, and maybe give me a call. That’s all I really ask, is one card or one phone call.