My company gets regular press releases from a self-publisher. I’m pretty sure the authors write the releases themselves. We got one today from “Dr. White Goldfish King” plugging the second volume of his autobiography, 2nd Series Biography of Famous American Executive Millionaire Celebrity.
I just had to check out his website, www.whitegoldfishking.com. Strangely, the biography doesn’t seem to be mentioned, but many of the fabulous attributes of this amazing man are described under the “Author” link.
I wish I had the time to type in some of the superlatives he applied to himself in the press release. Here’s just a couple of sentences, “He spends his fun time in the U.S., Europe, Asia, and America. He’s best friend of world government leaders, presidents, prime ministers, and governors worldwide in government houses worldwide.” Those are verbatim, and there’s a bunch more like them. I sure wish this release was online.
[My apologies to any of his fans that might be reading this. Maybe he really is famous and has “written many books to be produced into motion picture movies and television series.” Perhaps he is “the 1st Cuban-American scientist to invent television cell phone.” It’s possible he is the “president, founder, and owner of White King College and White King University Education School USA.” Somehow, I never managed to hear of this particular celebrity.]
Oh, this is priceless! He’s king of self-promotion, is what he is.
The clincher is going over to Amazon and reading the “reviews” of his books (almost certainly self-penned). My favorite tidbits from the review for The Smugglers Deadline:
You can read an exciting excerpt of the first volume of his autobiography, True Biography History Book of Famous American Millionaire Celebrityhere. Comedy gold.
This guy is either off his meds (which he was probably never on in the first place), or hails from glorious nation of Kazhakstan… …and I will get myself a white goldfish for a pet and I will love him and watch him and feed him and clean his gravel and teach him to play soccer and I will name him Borat… and I will teach him to read and write and he will write better than “Dr. White Goldfish King, Ph.D. M.D.”!
He claimed that he “is one of four people in the state of Connecticut qualified to handle nuclear waste”.[18]
He was employed by both the Mafia and the CIA during his childhood.[21]
He gave tennis lessons to Harrison Ford, Sarah Michelle Gellar,[21] and Jerry Seinfeld[13]. He further claims to have won two games in a tennis match against Pete Sampras.[13]
He is a specialist in “Chinese orthopedic massage”.[13]
The Dalai Lama had apparently written his college recommendation.[13]
He has killed two dozen men in Tibetan gladiatorial contests.[13]
He claimed to be “an action star, an espionage expert, and a professional athlete. He would be on the C.I.A. firing range one day and at a martial-arts competition that took place in [a] secret system of tunnels underneath Woodstock, New York[13] the next.”
and you have to watch his video that was attached to his vieo to get hired by a major financial company
Wow, what is wrong with this guy?? I wonder where he gets the money to “self-publish” this stuff. How did he get his books an Amazon? Can anyone sell their “book” on Amazon?
Is this “Xlibris” company for real?? What a scam. On their Web Design Marketing page, they list what they charge to make a web site for an “author,” and way overcharge for such “advanced” enhancements as “mouse-over” effects on links (oh WOW!), then you go to the “Testimonial” page and look at the pages of some of the happy customers (like Dr. White Goldfish) and they’re the biggest pieces of crap I have ever seen.
Wow, this “self-publishing” company really is cutting-edge… If you pay for their “Online Listing Campaign” they will spread “links” to your “book” all around the “inter-web.” What’s a “link,” you ask?
According to the above-linked page:
And for a few thousand more dollars, they will spam “media outlets” and “newswires” with your “press release,” and will orchestrate e-mail (read: spam) “campaigns” for you too. :rolleyes:
