Dracula's teabag

This morning around the corner from the office, a used tampon was lying on the sidewalk.

It’s gone now.

Strange. The mental image I had from the thread title was Dracula getting tea-bagged.

Same, but then I noticed that spoiler boxes are ineffective on preview.

D’OH! I should’ve checked that. Sorry.

I don’t know about you guys but I wouldn’t want to tea bag anyone with sharp pointy fangs.

Oddly enough – while at my weekend job (a retail outlet where I get a phenomenal discount), a customer asked me to inform management that there was “something very ugly” just in front of the doors. I told the manager, who checked and it was a used maxi-pad. Is it something in the water?

[dracula]I vant to suck your pud.[/dracula off]

Whee! I guessed the spoiler right. Then again, Ive known the joke for years.

Gross question: Did it look like it had been there for a while?

The risk is what makes it exciting.

I’m reminded of the local bar where Bloody Marys are served with the olives on a piece string that hangs out over the side of the glass. (Never cocktail onions! Too close to garlic.)

Hard to say. Could’ve been there an hour or two. Depends on how hard it rained. I was more red than pink though.

There’s two possible scenarios here.

  1. Some unknown woman squatted down right there on the sidewalk, groped up under her skirt, yanked out her cork, dropped it casually on the ground, and then went along her merry way;

Or 2) Some unknown woman carried the thing outside from somewhere else with the sole purpose of leaving it there.

Frankly, I don’t know which idea squicks me out more.

I suppose there’s a third option, in that there’s probably women out there whose vaginal muscles are so out of tone that a tampon might crawl out on its own. But if that’s the case…damn, woman! Kegels! They’re not difficult!

Possibility #3 some kids dipped a fresh tampon in red stuff and tossed it there to see what would happen.

I remember a “things to do when you’re bored” list that was circulating back when I was a young teen, prior to the internet, that suggested putting red nail polish on maxipads and sticking them in weird places to see how people deal with it.

I remember thinking it was funny, but my crew and I were far too lazy to implement any such pranks.

There are a number of homeless and semi-homeless women around here, and many of them appear to have psychological problems. (When I went outside at lunch – noting the bloody tampon had disappeared – a woman was going on thusly to someone who wasn’t apparent: ‘You get away from me! I don’t get oxygen! Everyone around me has to die! My name’s not RACHAEL!!! It’s Rachael. I can’t have oxygen. Everyone has to die…’ And so on.)

So I’m assuming Scenario 1.

Possibility the fourth (based on the indiscretions of my youth): Two young lovers in the back of a car manned by a less fortunate youth decide RIGHT NOW! is the time for certain sexual activities that might otherwise be thwarted by a gobstopper. Thus, after removal of the offending tamponage, disposal may have taken place through defenestration.

When I was at Ozzfest 2001, while Papa Roach was playing people started throwing stuff and the lead singer said “Yeah throw shit at me” and some girl threw a bloody tampon at him. :eek:

I would have guessed an animal might have fished it out of a dumpster and then abandoned it for some reason.

Is there a little chalk outline around where it lay?