Draft Dodgers

Okay, I’ve seen a lot of allegations about this crop of presidential hopefuls and possibles. The Vietnam War lasted so long that virtually the entire field has to have some excuse for not going to the Nam. Perhaps you folks out there could help me complete the list here. I don’t have a lot yet.

Dan Quayle: Dutifully served in the National Guard, at the request of people now dead other than himself :wink: Was not called to active duty in Vietnam, but probably got laid in the back seat of an APC.

Alan Keyes: Perhaps he was considered insignificant by the Draft Board?

George W.: Dutifully served in the National Guard at the request of deceased entities other than his father’s career. Was not called to active duty in Vietnam, but as president of his fraternity courageously ordered pledges to their disfigurement.

John McCain: Naval aviator; shot down over Vietnam; spent six years at the Hanoi Hilton. Not angry about it. Not even a little bit.

Bill Bradlee: Well, uh, sports stars can get away with anything in this country. (Insert actual excuse here)

Al Gore: Too busy teaching others how to inhale?

Warren Beatty: Supported the war effort by actively opposing it.
Reform Party/ Other:

Donald Trump: He doesn’t like shaking hands. Chances are he doesn’t like parasite infested mud either, but how did he beat it?

Pat Buchanan: 4F; bad knee, I think…

Jesse Ventura: Navy SEAL; served in Mekong Delta with Seal Team ? Later went on to metaphorically win the war by giving his screen life to help Arnold beat an invisible jungle opponent.

Have I forgotten anyone? Your help is appreciated.

Elizabeth Dole: Content to allow unconstitutionally sexist conscription standards to keep her out of the war effort. Actually, she’d be pretty old for most of the conflict: born in '36, her twenties lasted from '56 to '65.

And yes, “unconstitutionally sexist” is my judgement, but I don’t see how anyone could say with a straight face that males-only draft provisions comply with the “equal protection” clause of the 14th Amendment. Of course, conscription sounds like “involuntary servitude” to me, but I’m weird like that.

Jeez. I’m such a chauvinist. That’s why women don’t get elected president: jerks like me ignore 'em.

Welll, I don’t know. I’ve seen plenty of stuff saying she isn’t putting a serious effort to campaigning. I also saw a big site with a bunch about GOP candidates right down to Gary Bauer, and Liddy wasn’t on that one either.

I actually think there might be some unintentional bias in the terms of “what makes a serious Presidential candidate”: people expect military service, and think if a man didn’t do it he’s a wimp. The fact that very few women did it (and statistically, not many women do it today) means that we’re just not going to get very many females in the Generals, War Heroes, and Astronauts category for Presidential candidates. Scratch off the Pro Wrestlers and Fortune 500 CEOs categories, and women are seriously disadvantaged.

Of course, I usually look to elected office for Presidential experience, where women have made some real gains recently. (I rooted for Pat Schroeder in 1988 so you can point at me and laugh if you want.) Gains in the status of military women just take longer to percolate up to the Presidential field. Maybe some badass Apache pilot named Susie will be President one day.

Don’t you realize? Mccain is a timebomb agent for the communists waiting to explode. If he gets elected we’ll be led into a socialist takeover.

Just kidding.

I bet one or two of them pulled the same trick my Masters (TaeKwonDo) pulled. Join the Air Force and get nice easy work in an aircraft hangar in Korea.

"No job’s too small, we bomb them all."
-Ace Wrecking Company

All right,here’s what I’ve found so far:

Alan Keyes: None. Born, 1950. Eligible for the draft (earliest): 1968. Is Keyes young enough that he could have beat the draft with a deferral and its subsequent reduction? Quote: “We say oaths don’t matter. We say that it is of no importance. But when someone takes that oath of military service, and then stands there when he is going to DIE, and does not turn tail and run, because he refuses to break with that faith - that’s serious business, isn’t it?”–Alan Keyes, from his radio show. http://www.keyes2000.org/transcripts/981211wpuQA.html

Al Gore: News correspondent in South Vietnam, 1970, for the Army. Well, I saw Full Metal Jacket, so maybe I’ll cut him some slack. Then again, maybe not. http://www.la.utexas.edu/chenry/mena/roles/oil/sp1994/0000.html

Keyes fits into an interesting window. Here’s my WAG. 1)Upon graduation he would need to get a college deferment (they were only good for four years and you had to be a full time student). 2)At the end of those four years President Nixon would have started the draft lottery and Keyes would have gotten a number higher than 190.
3)Each year after that Keyes draft number would have 365 added to it(366 in leap years). 4)After a few years had gone by Keyes would be notified that his number was so high that he has been reclassified as 1-H.

Nixon’s (or someone’s) lottery began in 1969. If Keyes was deferred for college, (and it included post-grad work for only one year), he would have been declared 1H at the end of his first year of post-grad, regardless of whether he actually went on to get a masters degree.