Drat thee!

Forasmuch as thou hast offended me …

Mayest thou stub thy toe; yea, most grievously mayest thou stub it.

May the stars of heaven observe thee, and snicker. May thy knees swell mightily, even unto the size of watermelons. Mayest thou lisp.

Let the telephone marketers of all the world be as a buzzing perpetual in thine ears. Mayest thou be the butt of the humour of small children.

Mayest thou develop a slight, nagging itch in thy crotch. As thou scratchest it, mayest thou realise that thou art being televised live to an audience of millions.

May typhoons strike thy home; may meteorites strike thy pets; and may hiccoughs strike thine aunt.

To the utmost ends of the world, yea, even unto Pittsburgh, may thy creditors pursue thee. If thou hast no creditors, mayest thou acquire creditors. May thy creditors be seven feet tall, and weigh two hundred and fifty pounds, and be named “Bo.”

Let the flowers that delight thy nose wither. Mayest thy toaster always overcook thy bread. Mayest thy cheese develop mould, and thy beans small, suspicious-looking hair. May thy gherkins leak.

An hundred years after thy death, yea, even a thousand, may people hear thy name and think, “Verily, he was a right rutabaga.” Mayest Congress pass laws against thee.

Drat thee.

Hmmm… purely as an objective assessment as rants go… hmmm…

A dash flowery… colourful no doubt…

Not much regarding alliteration. No discernible pentameter. Obvious Shakespearean allusions and yet, not overly accesible.

I’m giving a 3.5 out of 10.

So verily, I say unto MacYee, what has thou done to ye to be deserving of such vehemence?

Thine fog before thee blinds thine wisdoms’ vision - wouldst thoust have enquired thus - what hast thoust "nemesis’ performed to have earnst such inestimable vitriol? :smiley:

Yeah, that’s what I was gonna say, but couldn’t figure out the thee’s and the thine’s. :smiley:

Hey, while you’re here, did you score the Mustang Boo?

Yae, verily, thou hast done well. May thy curse be memorized by legions of priests, muttered for aeons at the inexcusable foibles of the rabble. May people praise thy name for thy wisdom and for the beauty with which thy fingers doth cause such soothing words to flow from the ether into the world!


Wottest thou not whereof I speak?

Sometimes the world in general just needs a good hard dratting.

Out, out, dratted spot!

Naw, just doesn’t have the same ring…

Hot boiling drat?

But, one man method be to heaven, the world’s madness to hell!
Come, do dance. Nothing but that ever do. We will sing