DreamCruise 9: Die DreamCruise Die

I’m talking about this. OK, I understand it’s a fun event and you get to show off your classic cars that you worked so hard to maintain/restore. That’s fine. I have no problem with the actual DreamCruise event. The problem is that you goddamn, motherfucking assclowns can’t wait until the day of the event. oh no, your car is too precious to get lost in the sea of classics during the actual event. You have to start parading it up and down woodward ave at 25 mph a full week beforehand.
But do you stop there? oh hells no, if you don’t have to wait until the day of the event, there’s no reason why you should wait until after rush hour. Did it occur to you that maybe some people actually live in the Royal Oak/Fernadale area and might like to get home from work in less than two fucking hours?
Oh and to one pigfucker in particular, perhaps it would have been a good idea to make sure your “classic” actually ran before taking it out on one of the biggest commuter routes in Detroit during the evening rush. I sure did appreciate you blocking off a whole lane with your stalled out piece of shit.
I hate the motherfucking Dream Cruise.

Word, my brother, word. I hate old cars, and people, and humanity, and pretty much everything about this. I live in Wayne county, but have to go up there for work occasionally, and it is the suck.

My mom is in town, and asked me if I wanted to go on Saturday. I told her I’d rather have a high colonic from a firehose than go near that place.

Just broadside one of the bastards.

It’d be worth the jump in insurance rates just to scare the sonsabitches off the road…

The thing that just slays me about the Dream Cruise is how utterly and completed focked up the traffic is for days on Woodward.

As a former Royal Oaker, Woodward is the heart of that area.

Several years ago my brother (very ill)was in an ambulance trying to get to Beaumont Hospital during …yes…the dream cruise.
It took the ambulance something like an extra hour to make it there because of the traffic. The cops have made changes for the better since then.

I, however, went to it for the first time last year and it was a load of fun watching the old cars and people watch.

Best line: Looking at a 1970’s pickup truck that some guy was in the midst of a major overhaul on but it was functional.

My friend said, (in a mock southern accent) " An old Ford 150, well, she-it. It’ll get five miles to the gallon and breaks down every other mile. You just can’t buy something like that anymore."

The cruise is such a joke. I don’t think I’ve talked to anyone not driving in it who enjoys it. Of course tomorrow, they’ll all be heading down Woodward to the state fair and onward to the Ted Nugent/Kiss/Aerosmith fiasco at Comerica.

Everytime they show it on the news, it seems like every third or fourth car is a stock Expedition or Corvette. It’s like, gee, I’d have to walk all the way to local dealership to see one of those. I’m ready to break out my classic 1995 Ford Contour with 2 missing hubcaps and cruise along!

yeah, that’s another thing that annoys me about it. memo to the 16 year old kid with skin problems: A body kit and spoiler does not make your Chevy Cavalier a classic car.

ok, I wanted to stop the dreamcruise from happening, but this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.