want2befree, it may be obvious, though by the time I reached your point not a whole lot was obvious, but Ol’ Catfish is funnin’ ya and that’s about the worst advice you could get. I know because I followed that plan. But when you said, “That’s my problem. I can’t make myself not go to the store,” you said in bold letters that you are in the early days of an addiction. Get some help before it gets worse and harder to break. And while you still have a liver. And a driver’s license. Because I had no DUIs I had no idea how hard and expensive it is to get a new license. Or stay out of jail.
I know that Alcoholics Anonymous gets a lot of flak here because it can get awful churchy, and I personally want to repeatedly smash Bill W.'s mouth into the rim of a gas station toilet, but it’s a bunch of people who’ve been through what you are, and what you will, go through and they can help you get over the hump. And it’s free.
Ignore the attitude you get at AA that if you stop going to meetings you are doomed to die in an alcoholic stupor within weeks. Maybe that’s true for the hardcore addicts, but you’re new to this and your body is not destroyed. Ignore the studies that say AA doesn’t work because all of the studies I’ve looked at are deeply flawed in that they don’t follow their participants for more than a year, and they make the same assumption that if you drop out of the program you will immediately start drinking again. By that logic I’m an AA failure because I stopped going to meetings before my one-year anniversary, but I still don’t drink. And yeah, other programs work about as well, but they are expensive or hard to find close to you or meet only once a week. AA is everywhere and my chapter has five or six meetings a day, and a meeting is a great place to go instead of the liquor store.
Ignore all the people crediting God or their Higher Power for their recovery. My biggest problem with AA is that it steals the credit for all your hard work and gives it to someone who may not exist. If you need a Higher Power but aren’t religious, use the group. They are there (which by itself beats God) and their calling is to help you get better. You have the strength to do this, you just need to be reminded of it.
It sounds like all I’m doing is slamming AA, but it has some good points and helped me a lot in the early days. But ignore how Bill saves meditation for Step 11, not for any wooish reason but because guided meditation can relax you at a tense time. Find a CD or use the free ones online. Your molecules will feel like they are pointing in the same direction after it. They aren’t, of course, but it’s a good feeling.
My mother was an alcoholic and so is my older sister. My brother was a serious problem drinker into his late 20’s, but stepped back and now drinks normally. I’ve never had an alcohol addiction issue, but a few years ago I joined a new company that socialized heavily and I used to drink too much if there were open bar events or I was out with other heavy drinking friends. I didn’t need alcohol, and I kept none in the house) but I would drink too much socially. I stepped back from that and now drink much more moderately.
What you need to do is determine if you are actually physically addicted to alcohol or if this is just a seriously dysfunctional lifestyle issue you need to rearrange. Try to go dry for a week or two. Your physical reaction to the lack of alcohol will tell you the answer to that.
I am what they call a functional alcoholic. I don’t call myself that, I prefer heavy drinker.** However, every morning, I awake and say to myself, why did I do that? **It may be as simple as why did I drink so much, to as complicated as what did I do with this guy next to me?
The bold sentence strikes me as an issue. Every morning its negative and occupying your mind. Tough way to wake up!!!
Good call, dropzone. But ya know, pretty much all my posts are "funnin’. (click "all Asshole’s posts)
But the reality is my beer-run is a 12 mile gauntlet of what is referred to as the “most dangerous highway in the country” :rolleyes: Truth be told, I’ve seen 7 dead bodies (or the hulks they were crushed/burnt in) in the last 7 months between my beer store and home.
And I drink a lot of beer. Probably more than most posters. So while the joke was (not really) funny, the sentiment behind it was not. DUI is a shit ending, and will get you sober right quick, behind bars. Or in a coffin.
Learn to deal with your “problems” if you are “high functioning”. Keep your poison handy so you don’t kill someone to go get your buzz.
Cold Turkey isn’t the only way to quit. Sometimes you just get tired of the bullshit. A good start is growing weary of the effect. Then maybe, you start to taper off, and eventually, quit all-together. And that seems like where the OP might be coming from. Maybe not, so I’ll toss a joke at her expense. (sorry!)
But still, dropzone, you called it well. You can call me Catfish anytime you want.
The answer starts with you. Aside from obvious cases of alcoholism, it is a self-diagnosed condition, and only you know what it has done and continues to do to you. Since you think enough of your drinking to post this, you have two choices:
Stop now and save yourself a lot of pain and suffering, and
Stop after you endure something so bad that you recognize that you simply cannot live like that anymore.
Choice 1 is by far the best course of action, though choice 2 is almost invariably how it turns out.
Only you can make the decision. We can’t make it happen for you.
It’s best to stop. I drank quite a bit when I was a lot younger, just socially, and it really raised my blood pressure. I am not overweight, but alcohol in large amounts is a major contributor to hypertension. I never slept well either, as I was always waking up in the night many times. In addition, hangovers are not so great either. I’m sure there are many books that could offer you some insight.
If you want to stop, stop. IMO&E, it is pretty much as easy as that. Not saying stopping is easy, but no one other than you is hauling your ass into the liquor aisle. And no one other than you is pouring the stuff down your gullet.
(I understand many folk maintain that willpower is insufficient. Fortunately I am not that type of person.)
If you want to continue your life as you are, knock yourself out. You could try to continue drinking but moderate your intake. I found that unworkable.
Yeah, I’m a total alcoholic too. (With absolutely zero desire to quit.)
One thing I DID do was stop drinking on work nights, and save it exclusively for the weekends. For me, it gave me something to look forward too, and I also felt guilt free as I was being responsible. (Or at least my version of it)
If you need something to take the edge off during the work week, I hear cannabis is pretty good at that.
To be honest, there’s a lot more sage advice upthread, I just thought you might like to hear from a fellow alcoholic.
I had a hell of a time handling quitting. I was getting worse and worse and needed to stop. I went the Antabuse route, but found that I was having a hell of a time handing the stress caused by not drinking. I was self medicating for other issues and when I stopped the other symptoms got worse. I went to AA and found it really helped. As an atheist, I pretty much let any talk of God or Higher Power go in one ear and out another.
I think the vast majority of people can drink responsibly but not me. It’s been very good for me to quit and I don’t miss it.
I’m confused by these people saying quit cold turkey to an OP has been drinking out of control every single day and describes her drinking as compulsive. I thought alcohol was the most dangerous detox in that you can actually die from withdrawal?