It was a civil case. 2 years into their (still pending, I guess)
divorce, all has gone so kerfuck that a Jury is called in to figure out
what happens with the kids. Yah, 12 strangers pick out who will be in
charge of the kids. This is one ugly motherfucker of a divorce.
That’s all we really knew going in to it. If you haven’t ever been on
a jury, I hope you get the chance. If you have, then I wanna give you a
hug. This might be one of those life changing experiences… I’m a
mess right now. Hell, I haven’t seen Spider Man OR AotC yet. Been
busy.
I’ll spare you most of the awful details. Mr. says the wife had
an affair. Wife admits it. You would think that would take care of the
day’s work for us. Nah. Sexy underwear soon leads to some sort of GPS
tracking system he installed in her car to keep track of her every
movement. <–example, one that we got to hear more about. Yes, these are NOT
the awful things…
We spent a LOT of time in the jury room. More than 50% of the day in
court was time we could not talk about the case, while they bashed out
the rules in the courtroom. And BOTH sides were represented by sleazy,
awful, scumsucking bastards. They both did a good job, and I would hire
either one of them with a clear conscience-- That’s how it works, those
guys had been fighting for nearly 2 years already.
One of the pieces of evidence we asked for, while we were trying to
figure out was had really been going on, was Mr.'s diary. We had
a lot of trouble with it, thought maybe it had been begun after he had
hooked up w/ a lawyer and before he filed for divorce. Send a note to
the Judge, wait a while, and get a fucking mess of what was really
allowed. Think cut and paste, with no care for chronology. This was
important.
In my opinion, going on only what I heard in court, here’s the deal:
Mr. is a prick. Mrs. likes to party. Honestly, I think
they would both be okayish parents. Mr., however, only wanted the
middle child. He wants to separate the family even more–let his wife
have the two girls (14 [old enough to say she wants to live with the
mom- not really an issue here.] and 7), and keep the 10-year-old boy.
Mom (a big hit with the teachers that testified) just wanted to keep the
kids together. Dad said in one report we asked for that he spent
“quality time” with his kids on the ranch, teaching them how to hunt and
fish.
After Mr.'s best friend had taken the stand, his wife’s lawyer
really upset me. He tried to imply that they (Mr. and friend)
were gay lovers. Cheap shot, and really pissed me off. We KNOW when
yer making up shit, you fool.
{deleted} does NOT look like that picture. It’s very flattering.
Probably taken around the time the affair started. (she bought a car
from him, too…) DESPITE how her attorney acted, she won. Sorta.
The Questions we hadda answer (I’m gonna editorialize here) were:
1: Solo or Joint Custody? Both of them, best for the kids, otherwise
one wouldn’t be able to do things like request school records or consent
to invasive medical care. this one was a no-brainer, and unanimous.
2: Who gets to decide where the kids live? This was the killer. We
didn’t choose whom they would live with. We had to say that “This
person is in charge of where the children live, even if they want to
keep the boy and not the girls.”
3: We checked around a bit. Both of them have to stay down here for a
while, both of them are sorta forbidden from moving from around here
with the kids for six years… Payback for letting things go to a
fucking JURY!
To my ex-wife: I love you. (Not like THAT, more like THIS, if you know what I
mean) We were VERY lucky…
Everyone should serve on a jury. It’s like losing yer virginity. Ya
gotta do it, or you won’t really understand what they’re all talking
about. And if you ever have to go to a jury for custody, DO NOT call
your own FUCKING TEN-YEAR-OLD SON as a witness. Most of us might be
boneheads, but if you traumatize your own son in a sad attempt to get
back at yer wife for fucking around a few years after you moved into
separate bedrooms…
On the way out of court, I winked at your wife, and did not bitchslap
you.
I wanted to.