Arrrrrrrgh. My friend is dating a drunk. This guy had a stroke a few years back, and he has some neurological symptoms. The most prominent of these are drooling, and slow speech. On a good day, this guy takes about a minute and a half to say hello.
His personality and IQ remain unchanged. The problem is that he was a fucking asshole before he had the stroke.
For ease of reference I’ll refer to the friend who is dating the asshole as M, and the asshole himself as D, for drunk.
So the other night I was over at a friend’s house, a group of us watch tv over there on Tuesday nights. M invited herself over there–she used to be a regular, but stopped coming when she resumed dating D (she had dated him for about a year before, but figured out that he was an asshole, and broke up with him)–but when she got there, D was with her.
D showed up with two bottles of wine and drank both of them by himself. He also mooched a bunch of pot from a mutual friend. This exacerbated his slooooooooooow speech and drooling. Then he proceded to talk loudly throughout every show, pausing only for the commercial breaks. He talks kind of like this: mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmEvanmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmImmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmcaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIihhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssoooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooffffffffffffffffffffttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
He speaks in a monotone at a pitch close to the E above middle-C. Several people asked him to shut the fuck up, nicely at first, and then not so nicely. He just laughed it off, and continued to be an asshole. And don’t get me started on the drooling. Around 11, he asked the host to open another bottle of wine. I’m proud of her for not hitting him.
I like to think I’m pretty accepting of people with disabilities. I have a severely autistic daughter. In college, I did a lot of work with developmentally disabled adults. I guess what I’m saying is: Is it me? It’s him right?
So I’m saying it here now. Dude, we know that you had a stroke. We know that you talk differently because of it. But you’ve gotta stop being such a fucking fudge tunnel. Get a grip, get back on your medication, stop drinking, and by all means shut your fucking drool-emitting pie hole goddamn it. Nobody can even understand you after you’ve had a few drinks.