Okay. This is inspired by another thread in GQ about Canadian DUI law.
I’m describing a scenario I used to get into, but won’t get into again. [My new policy is to only drink at home.]
I go to a Mexican restaurant in Cleveland with my buddy Dave.
Dave drinks iced tea with sweet and low.
I have a pair of very large margaritas. I am obviously intoxicated, and nearly have trouble walking.
Dave is driving me home from the restaurant, and he realizes he’s low on gas.
Dave pulls into a service station.
Dave kills the engine, hops out of the car and operates the self-service pump. He leaves the keys in the ignition.
While filling the vehicle with 87 octane fuel, of course, Dave has to stand nearby but outside of the vehicle.
Why would anyone go to a Mexican restaurant in Cleveland?
Why would anyone go to Cleveland?
Who refers to another adult as their “buddy”?
What kind of name is Dave? I’ll tell you: the kind of name that pops up when you’re inventing an Imaginary Friend. I might have believed you had it been a Wendell or a Brandon or a Tristan or a Jaden or an Aiden or a Caleb or a Casey… or at least a Bob.
And what does this “friend” order? Let me digress to make a point: assuming he’s real, a “Dave” would be a Normal Guy. Size 34 Levi’s, clean t-shirt, baseball cap, nice smile, balding just a little… Having been one, I can tell you, a Dave’d rather have a beer. But if he was driving, he might order a Coke. He might order a local micro-brew Root Beer. Some pudgy Daves have been known to order Diet Cokes, or tap water with a slice of lime.
But this Dave drinks… iced tea? With … sweet and low?
I’m betting if we asked to see an ID from this “Dave”, or a receipt from “A Mexican restaurant in Cleveland” (I can barely type it with a straight face), we’d be waiting quite some time…
Some jurisdictions can nail people for DUI when they’re not driving, or wouldn’t even be able to drive the car. I assume the hypothetical is to ask whether a drunk in a car with the keys, when there’s a driver not in the car, would qualify.
It could be considered public intoxication. But I don’t see how it could be argued that you were guilty of DUI simply because the driver, who is present, left the keys in the car. I understand where you’re coming from, and who knows, I’m sure there’s some asshole cop out there that could arrest you for DUI under those circumstances, but I doubt the case would stand.
My guess would be that most cops wouldn’t worry about it assuming that Dave (your sober driver) was nearby and able to vouch for your story. However, if the officer couldn’t find your friend Dave, you might have an issue as the officer could assume that when you saw him coming you hopped over to the passenger seat to avoid a DUI. It’s probably best that Dave just keeps the keys in his pocket while he’s out of the car.
What if it was a car with keyless entry and ignition? The fob is in the drunks pocket. Dave can start and drive the car without actual possession of the fob as long as it is inside the car along with the drunk.
Even better, what if the fob is in Dave’s pocket. Even though Dave isn’t in the car, he’s still close enough that the drunk could start it and potentially drive a few feet until he’s out of range. Couldn’t get far, but I’m sure he could still do some damage.
