Ummmm…I’ve been using ICQ for 4 years or so, and I have never, as in not once, received a random message from someone looking for cybersex.
If you really want to put an end to this problem, there are two key security features on ICQ that make this possible:
Use Invisible mode at all times. This makes you invisible to everyone who might have added you to their contact list at any point in the past. Set your own contact list up so that people that you want to have see that you’re online can see you (i.e. add them back to your visible list on an individual basis, so that they can see you even when you’re in invisible mode).
and
In your security settings, on the Ignore List tab, check the box that says “Accept messages only from users on my contact list.” Actually, I don’t even use this one, because using Invisible mode is so effective. But, if you truly don’t want random people IM’ing you, go for it.
Jadis: I get enough messages from people I know who are not on my contact list (I keep having to format, YAY) that going inviso all the time doesn’t appeal. Nor does only accepting messages from folks on my contact list.
I don’t mind horndogs in general. Most of 'em will take a “no thanks” or if I don’t answer at all will leave off. It’s the MORONS I’m ranting about, y’dig?
The first day I was on AOL I got a couple of random IMs from people wanting to cyber. The first time I was shocked and appalled. The second time, I told the guy I was a nun, assuming he’d leave me alone. Instead he asked if I wanted to spank him. Lovely.
I eventually changed my profile so that I got fewer random IMs, but they haven’t gone away completely. Now I mostly get IMs popping up w/ porn links in them. They’re a lot easier to ignore.
Being REALLY familiar with type #1 (winks at Hama), I gotta agree with her. And it’s even MORE fun when they say they’re married. How fucking pathetic.
Ah, the loveliness of the “block” function on AIM…
I’m sick of sending my picture to someone, and they don’t reciprocate. So I’ve taken to never giving it out unless they send me one first. And they run away when I say that.
So even my cyber-sex-life is pathetically embarrassing.
I changed all of my settings too, because I was so sick of random IM’s from horny poor spellers. I swear if I ever see “r u singel?” one more time, I’m going to pull an Elvis and shoot my computer. After I changed all of my settings, I made one more mistake. I wanted to meet other moms in my area, so I put myself on a local ICQ users list, and (thought) I made it clear that I was a mom looking to chat with other moms. Nope. The only people I met were 50-60 single men looking for a date, and one woman who was looking for a third for a threesome. I removed myself from the list. Are normal people that hard to find?
People do NOT read your profile before they try to cyber, either. This is my profile:
I’m a happily married mother of 4, and a full time student. I enjoy meeting new people and chatting over my morning coffee.
I signed into a chat room under a female pseudonym once. I’d been there a hundred times as male. As female, I got my first IM withing a minute. It didn’t stop until I got so frustrated with not being able to carry on a normal conversation without a new ‘want to cyber’ IM window popping up ever 2 secs that I left the chat and never went back.
You know what?
I am a genuine Turkish guy living in Turkey, and I am not feeling any embarrasment in freely admitting this fact.
Sending out random messages to women all round the world is NOT a Turkish specialty, as I have also did the same thing some posters on this thread have tred: Log in as a female!
Looking for cybersex is not a shameful act IMHO either.
I say it is just a metter of style, and a moron is a moron no matter what nationality he belongs to.
I do feel sorry that Hama, Tequila and Opal have been so intensively contacted by Turkish morons, but I can quite safely claim that this is just a meter of coincidence.
Not as sexy as that photograph of you with a big winning smile and a black dress on, Lola
CUTE kids ! I’m sufficiently neurotic that I’ve still not posted photos of my two kids on the Internet.
Now…I do AOL, not ICQ. It’s never occurred to me to create a screenname and profile that was female. Judging by the comments from my female friends in my chat room of choice, well- they get hit on plenty. Way of the world. AOL has a little button that says " Cancel", and another one that says “Report to AOL” on the IM screen when it lands.
…and, before anyone with an itchy trigger finger gets their doidies in a twist, the preceeding posting is based on what I found when I clicked on the profile information offered by that poster and provided by The Straight Dope Board. And, nothing more.
Believe it or not, I find it a show of respect to go and look at someone’s profile or web site before responding to something they’ve said. I’ve done so even when quoting someone who infuriated me. It’s still the decent thing to do, learn what that person has provided in the way of information It gives me a better idea of whose I am quoting/responding to.
And, Lola, your husband must be a gem
Wow, I have the opposite problem. I have people trying to send me their pic all the time… and I don’t want it! Why would I want a picture of some random stranger I’ve never even talked to? Especially if it’s just a picture of your penis!!! AAAHHHH!!!
One of my friends keeps a page with a transcript of all the loser guys who have tried to “cyber” her on IM, and the responses she gave them. It’s amazing how long these guys will keep trying even when somebody is clearly not interested. It’s a pretty funny page.
Sample:
Vz: Need a booty call tonite?
SwankiVY2: Oh…well, I am pretty sure that my booty is right where it belongs; therefore, I don’t think calling it will be necessary.
I had a friend once who used a_little_girl as his screen name, the point being that when he was playing Counterstrike, his opponents would read “You have been shot by a_little_girl.” He eventually changed it because he was getting so many sex trolls.
