Dumb pets

I thought German Shepherds were supposed to be really smart dogs. Mine is a dummy. I asked her to prepare our taxes last year and she just claimed the standard deduction instead of itemizing! I mean she KNEW about all the medical expenses we’d incurred and I even told her where to find all the receipts. If it was the cat I’d say that was sheer laziness, but in the case of our dog? I’m thinking stupidity.

Your problem is it takes a pit bull when you itemize.

I had a pug once, incredibly cute, but about as dumb as could be. She could not learn. Potty training was never complete. We decided after about 2 years she had a mental deficit. So, yes pets can be real dumb.

I had a dog that would drink out of the toilet then complain that his steak was overcooked. Wouldn’t eat peas either, I would find them in a pile next to his food dish.

Third Christmas in a row that I’ve had these dogs, and third Christmas in a row that I got NO HELP putting up the outdoor Christmas lights. WTF?

My cats are not the least bit lazy. They work extremely hard to advise me when it’s breakfast time and they never stop searching for the perfect place to nap. Usually in the middle of the hall. Lazy? Not at all!

My German Shepherd could use some help in the brain department. She can take her bowl to food bin, and lead me to it, but can she fill the bowl herself? Nooooo. Yeeesh.

Cut them some slack or this might await you:

I repeatedly tell my flock of budgies “Go forth, my minions, and do my evil bidding!” but they just peep and force me to hand-feed them treats. They’re so dumb!


Blackjack told me he knew how to drive a car. He was lying. An automatic maybe, but he couldn’t drive a stick at all.

My Yorkie, (dog#1) falls off the porch on a regular basis. She ain’t got any sense at all. I have had a very smart dog in the past, they are fun yet challenging. At this time of my life I prefer a dummy. Along as potty training is good. I think dog#1 might be a savant, she never forgets where the food is. She has never has forgiven my son for stepping on her a long time ago. But then runs head long into the wall behind a door. Dumb!!

I dunno, man. In all the years I’ve done taxes, even when I was paying off a mortgage, the standard deduction always worked out better, and a lot less hassle.

Give the dog a break.

She tries, bless her heart, but my Breakfast Alarm Cat still hasn’t gotten the hang of Daylight Savings Time.

I’ve had dogs that would sit in front of the sink and stare at the faucet when they were out of water. You’d think it they were that damn smart, they’d grab a glass and get their own drink.

Yeah, I hear you. You’d think they would at least hold the ladder steady. But I’m afraid that’s pretty typical pet ingratitude these days.

You can’t use the medical deduction unless it is a sizeable portion of your income. The dog is smarter than you are when it comes to taxes.

Did you give him honey for his knife?

I eat my peas with honey
I’ve done it all my life.
They do taste kind of funny,
But it keeps them on the knife.

I have a Shih Tzu and a cocker spaniel. They have licenses so when I’m too damn tired to go to the store, why won’t they grab the keys and go? They get to take lots of naps, when do I get a break?

My hearing dog was very smart ! :slight_smile: He was a Standard Poodle

Typical incompetent dog, a la Gary Larson