“Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt” said some smart person once, in those words or similar. Unfortunately, those who could benefit most from this advice are usually too busy talking to hear or contemplate it for a single second or are unconcerned about others’ perceptions of them, which sounds like a good thing, but in practice may not be.
So what think ye Dopers? Should folks keep their traps shut if they don’t know something basic, possibly motivated by a sense of shame at their own ignorance, or is this just wishful thinking on my part and they should feel free to ask any question no matter how dumb?
As an example, my daughter asked me what cilantro was on at least 20 separate occasions over the course of a decade or so, from approximately ages eight through eighteen. How many times should this question get a patient straight answer?
She also feels free to ask things that involve simple arithmetic rather than performing the calculation herself, and others of her generation (early twenties) seem to feel equally unashamed of their ignorance of what should be basics.
I’m a grouchy curmudgeon to be sure, but I do wish people were too embarrassed to reveal such extensive stupidity like back in the good old days that possibly never were!
I know of a guy whose dog had a rear leg amputated after being hit by a car. He asked his vet (who recounted the story to me) if the dog could still have a litter. The mechanics of copulation were explained, and the added burden of pregnancy weight gain discussed. Then he said, “No, I mean would the puppies be born with three legs?”
So anyway, I answered yes, there are some dumb questions.
There are no dumb questions the first time of asking. It is particularly dumb to not ask a dumb question when you need that information shortly thereafter, with no time to research. It’s better to admit to ignorance than to be proved a fool.
And then there are the dumb questions which aren’t so dumb after all, ranging from “Can you please check that the power cable hasn’t come loose?” to “What is justice?”
I would say if you’re on the Dope and you come across something you don’t understand, your first step should be to Google it, but then ask if you’re still lost. That’s from my youth, back when Google was called “Encyclopedia Brittanica” or “The Dictionary” - if we asked our mother something, more often than not, the answer was “Look it up!” It was a valuable lesson, made easier when Teh Intrarwebz was born.
So, there are dumb questions, but in general, even dumb questions deserve answers.
I put it’s better to ask than remain ignorant, but it’s really between that and google it yourself. There is a point, as the OP says, after which I will not confess my ignorance, and people younger than me seem to have no trouble confessing how ignorant they are and expecting you to teach them.
I always remember the young millennial who asked a pharmaceutical rep (and a friend) about IUDs; whether they don’t “rot in the uterus”. :eek: That is the kind of question, if I didn’t know the answer for some reason, I’d google.
But that kind of ignorance is distressing anyway. She was not a child. She was 25, with a boyfriend, on birth control (why not ask your gyno?), about to buy a house. To have that much ignorance about the body parts you possess and that cause trouble every month is a little shocking.
I agree that if you need the information right away, it’s better to ask. Otherwise, do your own research, and dig until you find the right answer. Who knows what you might learn?
I’ve always taken the “Better to remain silent…” thing as being less about asking stupid questions and more about answering questions when you don’t actually know the answer. I think the only stupid question is the one you didn’t ask but I’m really bad at practicing what I preach in that regard. Too many times I’ve been afraid to look stupid and remained ignorant when I could have easily been enlightened.
So I’ll take a step toward self improvement and just ask: what the hell is cilantro?
A lot of what people are calling dumb questions in this thread are just lazy questions, especially the ones the OP’s daughter asked. There should be a difference between lazy and dumb.
Also, there are times when the person answering a question should think about how to best answer it. A quick simple answer might be appropriate in some circumstances, but if your daughter is asking you a question rather than doing the math, the correct response is to explain how to do the math. If she keeps forgetting what cilantro is, the correct response is to show her how to look it up.
Both of you make excellent points. It’s something endemic in some people - and really, I see this in all ages - of just being lazy. I am lazy, too, nothing wrong with that, but I still would rather look it up myself rather than show my ignorance.
to “What is justice?”