That reminds me of the time a little over 10 years ago, I was traveling somewhere and had quite a bit of time to kill in between flights. So I sat down, put on my headphones, and fired up Netflix on my phone. It seemed a little difficult to hear, but I assumed that was due to all the background noise in the airport, so I turned up the volume. Later, when it got closer to time to board, I went to put my phone away. That was when I discovered my headphones were not plugged into my phone. The audio had been playing through my phone’s speaker the whole time, probably much to the annoyance of all the people around me.
Ok. I laughed. A lot. 
That was delightfully boneheaded, and exactly like something I would do!
This is an amazing fact that I also experienced. I somehow had an altercation with a door that slammed really hard into my big toe. The toenail came loose and I taped it down, not knowing what to expect. It eventually came off entirely, but lo and behold, a new nail emerged in its place! It was like a miracle!
The dumbest thing I did in recent memory was well documented in my laments in the Pit – being so confident in my plumbing system that I dumped a big jar of expired pasta sauce containing mushroom and sausage bits down the kitchen sink. The result was a plumbing horror that required the disassembly of much of the downstream drain pipes, and a corresponding cost that even now I hate to think about.
putting on gloves 20% faster !!!
Finally remembered to pay the mortgage. Only 3 days late.
Thanks!
Is it me, or is it really true that, once you do that, your teeth seem to want to go back to that spot and bite it again and again!? 
Is it me, or is it really true that, once you do that, your teeth seem to want to go back to that spot and bite it again and again!?
Oh yes indeed!
Healing time is often prolonged.
And scars remain for some time.
Part of it is that the bitten spot swells up and gets in the way of your teeth. So you bite it again.
I’ve done it for years. It’s a miserable habit.
I just remembered a big one. One year, I did my taxes and as usual, made a contribution to my IRA. Much later in the year I was reviewing my accounts and realized that I had completely forgotten to actually send the money to my IRA. I declared it on my tax return but never made the transfer. I talked to my accountant and he said it was too late to make the contribution; I would just have to file an amended return and pay the taxes assuming there was no IRA contribution that year. This was a huge hit; that one dumb oversight cost me over 15% of my annual income. I’m pretty sure that was the most costly mistake I’ve ever made (apart from marrying my first wife).
I think it was more 5-6 years for this story…
I had some old beater cars for a long time. Eventually got a job, bought a new car, etc life continues.
Based on my old cars, my experience of windshield wipers was (up–manual go once) - intermittent - fast - crazy fast pull over.
So one day I’m driving my new car and the rain is just annoying enough that I don’t want to keep going manually, but intermittent is too slow to deal with the rain. I complain to my husband that I wish there was some setting to adjust the speed of the intermittent feature.
Out of the corner of my eye (as I was driving at the time) I know exactly the look he gave me as he said “there is …turn the knob…”
So, yeah. I’d been a driver for a couple of decades, had that particular car for a half dozen years, and never noticed that the intermittent wiper timing was adjustable.
Very minor dumb thing. I use a pill carrier which has seven two-compartment holders (morning and evening) which are removable from the base. I fill it with my week’s worth of pills every Sunday morning. Normally it sits on my office desk, where it is convenient for me to take my morning pills with breakfast. In the evening I pop out the holder with my evening pills and take it to the living room, and then return it to the carrier after I take the pills. On Saturday at some point after I take my morning pills the carrier is put on the dining room table where I keep my big bag of pill bottles so it will be ready to fill on Sunday morning.
For some reason I thought yesterday was Saturday instead of Friday, so I brought the carrier into the dining room and popped out the Saturday pill holder to take in the evening. It wasn’t until I went to take my pills last evening that I noticed that the pill holder still had my morning pills in it. For a second I thought I had somehow not taken my morning pills, than realized that it was Friday, not Saturday. So I took my evening pills, then put the carrier back on the desk and swapped the holders (Fortunately, over the years the days printed on the holders had completely worn off and were now interchangeable.
Just walked into the kitchen with my coffee mug in my hand. It was empty, so I was just holding it by the mug part and sort of swinging my arm.
And just swung the handle of the mug into the (metal) door jamb and broke off the handle.
It’s a mug that can only be bought new at Pike Place market. Which is time consuming to visit as there’s always a line at the Starbucks. Definitely not going to replace it with the exact same mug. Might not even buy any new mugs for a while - we still have plenty.
I was about to try to cut my bangs this morning but decided against it thanks to this thread.
That would’ve have been really dumb. I learned that lesson on multiple occasions over many years.
Dumbness averted.
Me too, but I feel like I’ll teach myself a couple more times. 
Side note: This thread title is giving me an earworm. Fortunately, it’s one I like. 
Since it’s not letting me post the YouTube link as normal, I’ll revise it: “Things We Said Today”