dumb things on resumes....

Oh, I can understand – some “resume helpers” say that listing your hobbies and interests on your resume is a good thing, as it gives the reviewer a hint of your non-working personality. Not that I’ve ever done it, myself, but that’s because my hobbies are too weird. :wink:

A network engineer with experience with “Sysco”

A fresh faced B.A. applying for a entry level sales job under objective: To be the VP of marketing for a Fortune 500 company

(Nice long term objective, but on the resume it usually means the objective of this particular job hunt)

labtrash QC analyst, huh? Taking any students? Got a lab near Hamilton by any chance…? :slight_smile:

I actually had an interview yesterday with a woman who calls me in to tell me about the available student positions at the company. On;y she never told me what any of the positions were. Everytime I tried to ask, it was “well, we do have some, in different departments…” She ended up asking me one quasi-relevant question “We want to know if you’ll get along well with the people in the labs. In the microbiology lab, there are 6 microbiologists”.


Is there reason to think I wouldn’t get along with them? Are they insane? Rabid? Sexually violent aggressors? No? then ok, I’ll get along with them fine.

Sheesh :rolleyes:

Sometimes it doesnt matter what it says on your resume - I applied to a chemistry-related job, and shes asking me if I get along with microbiologists!

Sorry for the slight hijack there, but I just had to mention it…!

As a part-timer that sifts through resumes 24 hours a week, I’ve seen some doozies. The biggest problem I see are resumes that skimp on the contact information. Several resumes will come in width just the person’s first name. Other times, there is absolutely no contact information on it at all (no name, no address, no phone numbers, no email addresses). This skimping of information extends to the emails as well (since all of our resumes come in through email or as email attachments).

It’s fun to get resumes from ex-military personnel, though. Oftentimes, they’ll include their security clearance level in the “Additional Notes” section. While that’s kinda cool to read, other information isn’t always so helpful. I once saw one where the gentleman boasted about all of the explosions he knew how to handle and what all he blew up in practice.

And, of course, I see the typical bungled spelling (“I worked on the hep desk”), poor word choice (“I exterminated computer bugs”), and some complete b.s.-ing (a junior-level web developer who proclaimed “I had a large part in boosting the revenue of this corporation” even after admitting having only worked there ten weeks and only on the employee website). There have also been resumes in all caps or all lower caps.

I once looked over a resume in which the candidate listed his “hoobies and intrests” (sic) as playing pool and betting on football. There were other oddities on it, but that one sticks out.
I myself once stated on my resume that “I enjoy repetitive tasks.”

I was hired.

The cover letter for a job I applied for yesterday (as a PA for a company that dubs foreign animation,) states “I am familiar with the production process, and a collector of Japanese film and anime. I have very strong feelings about the qualities that a good dub should have, and the idea of having the opportunity to ensure a quality dub holds a great deal of appeal for me.”

Translation: I frigging hate cheesy dubs, and anything I can do to make them suck less will make me feel a lot better. :stuck_out_tongue:

I turned 22 on 02-02-02.

What, you aren’t familiar with the ancient feud between chemists and microbiologists? Those types just can’t let a grudge die!


Hehe it is kind of true, though, that we make fun of the micro students at school, but if they want to pay me, I’ll be as nice as possible!

The “objective” field has always struck me as being the most profoundly useless expected piece of a resume. I always have to restrain the urge to put, instead of something calculatedly generic:

Objective: What, are you STUPID? To be HIRED, you moron.

But there’s always this nagging inner voice that stops me, suggesting that perhaps that wouldn’t help matters.

I’ve always liked this account of an…unusual…resume.

I am no Certified Novell Engineer I am not but I can do basic stuff. Enogh that my employer at the time gave me a little extra work one week setting up the network for our registers at the amusement park. It needed a little adjustment from a pro later but I pulled it off and the owners were pleased (yay).

Fast forward 4 years. Person applies for manager position in park. He was previously a park employee for 9 months. On his resume his position for the the time he worked for us was listed as “Network Administrator”. I thought hmm, thats funny. The network has been rock stable for 4 years and we never had a “Network Administrator”. I made a note of this on a postit and forwarded it to the HR manager. She was kind enough to call him in for an interview, sit him down and with no beating around the bush asked him to “summarize his duties as a network administrator for Blackbeards” He stood up and left without looking back with the HR manager and the GM laughing at him. I don’t even want to think what kind of reference they will give if someone calls to check his work history.

The Scrabble thing would impress the hell out of me. To be that good, you have to be a creative thinker and you also have to be adept at memorizing long word lists, hooks, and combinations. If someone were a national chess contender, I’d be intrigued by that on their resume; same with Scrabble.

Of course, the problem is, if your prospective employer doesn’t know much about the significance of being a highly-ranked Scrabble player, well, someone ends up so incredulous about it, they bring you up in a message board thread instead of hiring you.

GOOD GOD!!! I love how this went from a normal, typed resume into a bizarre conspiracy theory, to a hand-written manifesto. Jeez. Especially liked the part with the police asking him “Do you want to amend this resume? Isn’t it wacko?” and when he said no, they arrested him. :eek:

Wow. Just… just… wow. Thanks for the link, Drastic!