A collection of cover letter and resume “bloopers”. The applicants were applying for a research editor position at a parenting publication.
The I spel real good category:
*I would laik to apply for the position as Research Editor.
*As a former Reasearch Editor and Technical Writer…
*I create good repore with writers.
*I am an experienced and wiley researcher.
Unclear on the concept:
*I am very interested in your job opportunity. I am a dedicated stay at home mother.
*Objective: An engaing position with a non-profit organization [also a contender for the spelling category]
How nice for you:
*I collect facts like some people collect state plates, velvet paintings and clowns; however, my hobby gathers no dust or
*I ENJOY EDITING, I OFTEN EDIT THE NEWSPAPER FOR RELAXATION (the entire, very long cover letter was all caps–ugh)
*I am also the mom of a toddler turning 2 on 02-02-02 (pretty cool, huh?!)
*I’m a great face, voice, communicator and worker.
*At the age of nineteen, I was promoted to manager of Baskin Robbins Ice Cream Store.
*I have 2 children (girl 10, boy 16) who have turned out rather well, so far- or so the neighbors tell me. Before having kids I never felt the tugging need to procreate but I surprised my wife and myself by turning into an pretty good dad. So, I have the experience thing going for me when it comes to turning this knowledge into a job.
*As the downturn in the economy continues, it’s imperative to have qualified individuals onboard to ensure company stability and continued success.
Ways to impress a prospective employer:
*Must I be so bold as to say I am exactly what you are looking for? Well, yes, I must.
*This job appeals to me because … I could ride my bike to work.
*I am closely parenting my children, 7 and 9, minding the details and optimizing the desirabilities since conception.
*The exposure from helping expected mothers and the research I learned from that has imprinted my essential to share with others the myths, facts, stories of joy and fear of bringing up a child/children.
*I hope you’ll do some original research of your own and ask me to an interview. Perhaps we can exchange techniques?
*I don’t let deadlines pass by with whooshing sounds.