Wanna know why you can't get a job, moron?

Maybe it’s because you are an incompetent boob! Just a little suggestion here: when responding to an ad that states that the job requires very detail-oriented work, then maybe you shouldn’t have four errors in your cover letter alone! The only reason I opened your resume instead of immediately trashing it was so my coworker and I could make even more fun of you.

This isn’t just one person, oh no. We’re talking 80% or more of the resumes I’ve gotten have grammatical, typographical or formatting errors. The hilarious thing is that these are all Word documents, so the first thing I see when I open this shit is all the little green and red squiggly lines highlighting the mistakes! How can you have created this document in Word and not noticed that? I also love the ones with an extra blank page at the end, what the hell is that about? Are you trying to make your resume look bigger? 'Cause I kind of noticed there wasn’t any actual writing on that last page.

I’m dead serious when I tell you that one guy actually had this line on his resume, which was sent out in a mass email to me and ten other potential employers:

Then there’s people who submit resumes that are totally inappropriate, like the guy who sent me his resume with the goal of a “sales position.” Did you even read the ad, idiot? There’s only one “sales guy” here, and he owns the company. We are a laboratory, not a used car lot. Or an apartment building for that matter (I have received one email stating the person was seeking an apartment managerial position!)

I was under the impression that most adults know that your resume is your first impression, and it’s supposed to be perfect if you even want to get a response. I’ve read threads with people complaining about how horribly mistreated they are in their search for a job. Have some sympathy, people. My inbox is flooded with idiocy and incompetence. I can just picture some recessive-gened candidate for village idiot scratching his head wondering why he’s not getting any calls back. News flash: ITS BECAUSE YOU’RE RESUME SAYS YOU’RE A FUCKING IDIOT.

And of course I have an error in the last line of my post. Of course.

That should be “YOUR RESUME”. I’m fired.

Don’t fret…you can always get a job doing close-captioning for Lost.

Easily. On their computer, error tracking is off, so they don’t see any of that. On yours, it is on and it shows. I’m used to it, but I’ve met many people who didn’t know Word can track errors like that and never used that function.

If you are just talking about grammar and spelling, anyone opening a document with my name is going to see a spelling error. Certain industry specific terms aren’t in everyone’s custom dictionary. Resumes aren’t always written in complete sentences, especially when using bullet points. I can turn that off on my computer, but it will appear on yours.

Now, if they say “YOU’RE RESUME”, then I agree; fire them! :cool:

Speaking of captioning, I was watching an episode of Carnivale on DVD a few nights ago, and I saw this title:

I had to rewind to make sure it really said what I thought it did.

Pick on them all you like for not correcting spelling errors, but that blank page at the end might be a Microsoft Word bug. I have created Word documents that mysteriously got a blank page at the end – and from which that mysterious blank page is impossible to delete. It seems to happen at the end of tables, which people might well use for their resumes.

That… that’s brilliant! Set the company computers to turn off error tracking, so when your employees use the machines to write up their resumes, nobody will hire them!

'course, your actual company correspondence looks like it was written by incompetent boobs, but at least you don’t have people leaving your company…

Wow. That guy really IS a fucking pinhead.

If you turn on formatting symbols, there’s usually a big huge bold paragraph symbol at the end of the doc. Delete it. Boom, pesky extra page gone.

(Yeah sorry, I know, it’s a rant… sorry for trying to be helpful! ;))

I reviewed a resume once for the position of COBOL programmer which contained four versions of the word COBOL: COBOL, Cobol, COLBOL and COBAL. No interview resulted, although I was tempted.

snort My husband and I made simultaneous anguished noises when that appeared. I’m glad we weren’t alone.

A friend of mine once had a job interview and he ultimately didn’t get hired. The reason? The interviewer told him he had misspelled a word in his resume.

The job was a position as a proofreader.

The misspelled word? “Proof reader”.

I always PDF my resume and send it out that way, specifically to avoid the squigglies showing up to distract the reader from the substance of the resume. Occasionally a job listing will require the resume sent as a MS Word doc, but if not, they get a PDF.

I had an employee once who was working on her resume on my computer while she was on the clock. I found the resume while searching for something else. She was about to be fired anyway, for a long list of transgressions, so I thought, hmmmm. I edited her resume to include the word “fuckwit” buried deep within. :smiley:

What’s all this?

In this week’s Lost, during a scene in Korean, the English subtitles included the phrase “you’re husband” for “your husband.”

Very unprofessional.

He’s a programmer. As long as he edits his code, who cares about spelling? :smiley:

Is that show so boring you have to focus on typos to get any enjoyment from it?

Is it just me? When I was job hunting, I checked all the spelling and grammar, and even put the accent marks on “résumé”.

Maybe Sun is her own husband. Maybe she impregnated herself.

Every version of Word I’ve ever used has it turned on by default. The squiggly lines annoy the hell out of me so I have to turn it off whenever I’m at a new computer.