To pilot #1, who knew I was nervous preceding one particular flight, and left a copy of “How to fly a helicopter” on the pilot’s seat next to me…
To pilot #2, who got engaged in a conversation regarding the capabilities of his aircraft with the person next to him, and who then attempted to demonstrate the limits of the aircraft’s maneouverability by banking the machine to an extent that no helicopter has any rightful business doing - all while I was in a rear seat, with only a lap belt on (no shoulder harness), with the doors removed…
To pilot #3, who only realized upon takeoff that his battery was dead, forcing a 40 minute delay while it was replaced, realized 20 minutes into the flight that the GPS was not working at all, and who subsequently realized that we did not have enough fuel, necessitating an unscheduled stop…
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST - GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER… WHAT’S WITH YOU PEOPLE?!
You must have flown with the infamous Three Stooges Helicopter Tours and Hi-Rise Window Washing Company. I thought the FAA shut them down after that horrible incident with the elephant and the debutante…
“Hey, Moe! Go get me three gallons of prop wash. Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!”
I carry a copy of that in my flight bag. When I have a passenger, I pull it out after we’re strapped in then look confusedly at the panel and say, “Button… button… Who’s got the button? Ah! Here it is!” and then procede with the startup procedure. I think it’s funny.
How about this? You’re flying along over the city, look at your passenger and say contemplatively, “Ya know? I could kill us both right now.” (No, I haven’t done this.)
#2. Bad form. A pilot should tell all of his or her passengers what he intends to do. If a passenger objects, he should not do it. It’s common courtesy.
#3: If the battery was dead, how did he start the engine? (BTW: There is no excuse for not doing a complete pre-flight inspection to ensure such things as enough fuel, etc.)