Dumbest or most patently false advertising slogans

On TV here in England there is currently an advert for shampoo which “improves the radiant natural beauty of your hair” yadda yadda. The usual stuff.

However, the slogan it ends with is so ridiculous that the first time I heard it I had to ask my girlfriend, “Did they really just say that?”.

Here goes:

With Pantene[sup]*[/sup] your hair will outshine the sun this summer

Okaaaayyy… Just warn me if you’re going to use it, honey, so I can switch to SPF30.

Any more contenders?

  • or whatever the stupid brand is

“Guinness is Good For You”? I don’t think they use this anymore, but they did, many years ago.

“Red Bull gives you wings.”

Dammit, I’ve been drinking the stuff nonstop and I’m still not seeing any wings growing back there yet!

“We’ve turned the corner.”

“I’m Lovin’ it.”

No, actually, I’m not.

“As seen on TV”. Oh, that is so impressive

From the Ad Slogan Hall of Fame:

"Finger lickin’ good." KFC
I used to work for one of their suppliers and I know about what is in the seasoning. I don’t know what their understanding of the word good is.

"All the news that’s fit to print." The New York Times
Have they kept this since Jayson Blair left?

"Because I’m worth it." L’Oréal
I find a cosmetics company talking about someone’s worth in any but a financial sense pretty appalling.

“Where do you want to go today?” Microsoft
Aside from the fact that it’s crap software; it’s still just software. How many Windows using shut ins never go anywhere because of it?

“It’s everywhere you want to be.” Visa
… so long as you’re in an English speaking country. Way less valuable in Germany or Japan where cash is still King. Or perhaps König or Emperor.

"Fly the friendly skies." United Airlines
I never associated flying with a friendly environment and less so now.

"Be all you can be." US Army
… so long as your niche isn’t colour consultant, aromatherapist or Post-Modernist intellectual. It’s a good thing though since these twits would be a great focus for the next War on Something.

This was better than their current slogan: An Army of One :confused:

“I didn’t take a shower yesterday, and I may not take one today, because I use Some Deodorant I Don’t Remember.” Right Guard? Mitchum? It was from a while back (the 70’s?), but yikes almighty.

Oh, and as for “patently false:” Yard-o-Beef. That sucker’s a foot and a half, tops.

I think it’s Listerine mouthwash (could be a different brand) says that it’s shown using the product daily is as good as flossing. So if you don’t floss, or don’t floss properly, this stuff will take care of you.

At the bottom of the screen in small letters: “Floss daily” :rolleyes:

A few years ago, ads for milk hailed it as having “less than 4% fat”. Which is true, if you’re measuring by weight (in which case, you count the weight of the water), but blatantly dishonest, since something like 50% of the calories in whole milk come from fat.

Oops, forgot the other 2.

  1. Any car commercial that shows off it’s handling with the disclaimer that you shouldn’t attempt it. WTF is the point of showing it off and engineering it if we’re NOT supposed to use it.

  2. The new Ford F-series truck ads that tout the 4-1/2" bolts used bor the bed. Then it shows the entire truck being suspended from the rear over what pruports to be a man standing underneath it. Again, small letters at the bottom warn not to try this. Well WTF not!!! If the goddamn bolts are that strong that you feel the need to suspend the truck awith a single one, why NOT try it at home? :wally

“Prexonera may not be for everyone. Possible side effects include dizziness, weight gain or loss, increased heart rate, sweaty palms, heart palpitations, night terrors, obesity, flatulence, incontinence, schizophrenia, diarrhea, rash or other skin disorder, hearing loss, hair loss, depression, anxiety…”

Great Jumping Jesus, do they think they’re actually selling any of this stuff with that kind of ad? “Well, it doesn’t say that it kills people, and I really need to clear up my Athlete’s Foot…”

I’m guessing they make something for that, too. Possible side effect: Athlete’s Foot.

“America works best when you say ‘Union Yes.’”

The Angus Diet from Burger King. I hate those damn commercials. And the fine print. “The Angus Diet is not an actual diet.” I dunno if you have actually gone to the web site,
www.angusdiet.com, but they’re actually selling a book entitled “The Angus Diet,” which they’re advertising is for anyone “with a lot of time to burn.” Admittedly, the site is mostly a joke site, but BK has gone to a hell of a lot of effort for a joke. And those commercials are some of the stupidest, most obnoxious I’ve seen in a long time.

I think what annoys me most about those commercials is that they say it’s not a diet. Well, guess what…it is! The definition of diet (the verb form, at least) is: To eat and drink according to a regulated system. Well, if you eat nothing but an Angus burger, that’s a regulated system! Yeah, you’re not gonna lose weight…you’re cholesterol will shoot through the roof, and you’ll get congestive heart failure, but it’s still, technically, a diet! What they should say, is that it’s not a GOOD diet, or a diet designed to promote weight loss.

Did you guys notice they changed the commercial for those gel inserts for shoes from:

“You must be gellin’!”
“Like a felon!”


“You must be gellin’!”
“Like Magellan!”

Umm, ooookay.

Either way though, WTF?!

I hear this one on NPR a lot.

“Keane: we get IT done.”

Sure you do. I worked in an IT department for almost 10 years. And IT is *never * “done.”