Dumbest product ever

I saw this ad online and I kept thinking ‘this has got to be a parody, right?’

But it appears they’re serious.

Today’s world is literally FILLED with radiation… but this device “blocks” it instantly.

We’re getting overrun with it – EMF radiation levels are 100 million times higher than they were just 50 years ago. Do you know how much electromagnetic radiation your devices spit out every day?! As a result, you might be suffering from headaches, fatigue, body aches and other nasty symptoms thanks to all that radiation running through your body. This radiation affects male fertility, and it’s all around us. Until recently, you had no choice but to suck it up and take it in (and hope you turn into Superman, not Infertile Man)… but now smartDOT is here. This little sticker-like device attaches to your devices and soaks up the EMF radiation coming out of ‘em. If you’ve been tired lately and your house has more than 2 devices, then you should definitely check it out – it could make you and your entire family feel better.

Fight back at EMF radiation with SmartDot

So we’re getting bombarded by harmful radiation and it’s making us sick. And we should buy this sticker and put it on the back of our phone so it will absorb all this bad radiation.

Is there a sticker I can buy that sucks up stupidity? Because I feel the need to start slapping those on a lot of people.

If that actually worked, your phone wouldn’t be able to communicate anymore (phone/internet/texts etc). If that’s what you want, you might as well put it in a faraday cage (I beleive you can get small cell phone sized ones on Amazon) or take the battery out because it’ll have the same effect. Of course, that’s one small source of EMF, there’s a whole lot more everywhere around you. Maybe YOU should spend your days in a faraday cage. It’s the only way to be sure.

From the website(which I’m not linking to).

smartDOT® EMF Protection by energydots® is a low-powered magnet packed with a high-powered punch. Programmed with an intelligent combination of harmonising natural frequencies, smartDOT is designed to retune EMFs emitted by your device.

Wow. Just …wow.

I’ll point out that people bought and wore magnetic bracelets by the thousands (probably hundreds of thousands) that were sold in convenience stores and other such high end retail establishments, to ward of any ailment that comes to mind. So why is it a stretch to think people won’t start snapping up these devices. Yes, people are stupid.

The Devon-based company told BBC News the stickers were programmed with “scalar energy”, which the scientists’ equipment would be unable to detect.

I found the website. One of the things it guards against is “brain fog”, whatever that is.

There’s nothing dumb about that product.
In fact, it might be genius - inexpensive to manufacture, big profit margin, appealing to consumers, and completely impervious to validation.

The people who buy it are not the brightest bulb in the package, though.

Protection from EMF? Retune EMF?

Unbelievable!

That’s because the dots are sucking up all the electromagnetic energy.

Well, if you had a SmartDot, you’d know.

I looked these up and Amazon has them for sale. You can get a 5 pack for $90.

Let that sink in. It’s a pack of 5 orange stickers at the low, low price of $18 per sticker.

That’s a bargain though. If you buy a single one, it costs $35. What savings!

They somehow got almost 300 reviewers to give it 4.2 stars, but the top reviews point out that it’s a scam. So not everyone is stupid. One of the top positive reviews, though, might be sarcasm, I can’t be sure:

“I like that this is so easy to use. Stick it on your devices and forget about it. I know it works well. I have been tested by my kinesiologist and he said I am no longer having problems with 5G. I have one on my phone, laptop and Kindle. The price was right too.”

The kinesiologist tested her and said she no longer has problems with 5G? Maybe it’s Poe’s Law at play but I have trouble believing that was a sincere review.

Anyway, a number of “related products” claim to be made of “shungite”, which sounds like a magic metal from a meteor that would be in a comic book. It turns out to be a real thing, it’s a mineral composed of 98% carbon found near Shungite, a village in Russia (hence the name). It’s nothing new, it has been used as a folk remedy since the early 18th century. It apparently has been tested and has some anti-bacterial properties, but so do some kinds of hand soap and I don’t think that gives them magical powers either.

Sometimes the rabbit holes I find on the Internet disturb and depress me. :frowning:

Perhaps related to “brain cloud”?

Although honestly, it does sound like that - you have a general malaise with life, the universe and everything, and someone just says “Here’s why! And we can fix it for the low low price of …”

It reminded me of the “brain cloud” thing from Joe Versus the Volcano.

Damnit.

I also thought of Joe Versus the Volcano and Tom’s “brain cloud” when I heard about “brain fog”.

Or maybe a mid-level magic-user spell from a D&D campaign.

I have brain fog sometimes. But I’d need a lot more before I was foggy enough to shell out for Woo-Stickers.

.

Thought: If the buyers really were cured of “Brain Fog”, wouldn’t they immediately ask for their money back?

Sounds like they’ve identified their target market quite well!: people who don’t think clearly.

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of them are stupider than that!” - George Carlin

I got curious and looked up “brain fog” (I am not in any way a medical professional, any “expertise” I have comes from watching every episode of House MD) but it’s a real thing.

It’s apparently a generic catchall term for non-permanent cognitive impairment. As stated in the above article:

Brain fog is not a medical or scientific term; it is used by individuals to describe how they feel when their thinking is sluggish, fuzzy, and not sharp.

I know exactly what that is, I experience it now and then. I expect every human being has experienced it. Jet lag can cause it. Drugs can cause it. Sleep deprivation can cause it. You can’t “cure” it or “prevent” it with a single remedy because it can be caused by too many unrelated things. Unless maybe it injects cocaine into your bloodstream; that might do it.

Bonus feature: if you stick one on your forehead, it prevents “them” from being able to control your brain through the COVID vaccine.

Just reading that first sentence, I was expecting the “device” to be a sunshade.