Stumbled upon a delightful asian grocery shop near my place of work the other day - positively brimming with new and interesting things to try.
One of them was Durian Cake - a sausage-shaped pack of what is essentially durian jam - made from just the fruit pulp and sugar. Now, I’ve heard all about this interesting fruit by reputation, but never tasted it, so I bought a pack - thinking it might be one of those things like stinky cheese - where you just have to get it past your nose and it’s delicious.
Well, I was wrong. I opened the pack and was immediately assailed by the smell of rotten onions, burnt rubber and… well… shit. These, I understand, are not unusual descriptors for the aroma of durian.
No matter - I cut a slice and popped it in my mouth - I only managed to chew it three or four times before I could feel my stomach starting to spasm. I ran to the sink and spat it out, but it was so glutinous and sticky, it was all over my teeth and wouldn’t come off - I rinsed, spat, rinsed, cleaned my teeth, gargled and swished with strong mouthwash, cleaned my teeth again and rinsed again. The flavour started to subside.
That was about 24 hours ago - I’ve cleaned my teeth a dozen times since then, discarded and replaced my toothbrush. For the most part, things are back to normal - but I still get the occasional waft the penetrating taste of it - and despite not ever having swallowed any of the stuff, I can even smell it in my urine when I pee.
So… Mangetout does certainly not Mange Tout. Dear Lord. That stuff is NOT food.
Heh. The most interesting description I ever read of the experience of eating durian was that it was akin to eating custard while sitting in a particularly foul latrine. Does that sound about right?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the only valid use for durian fruit is to hurl it at your enemies with a catapult.
Woe me, every single morning when I walk to the bus station I go through a shopping mall, entering by a Tesco super marked. Some months from now they started to stock durian right by the entrance, not just the full thing but they also cut it open and put the pieces in trays. That they do every morning, about the time I go through that door on the way to the bus station. Nothing like starting every morning with a whiff of durian stench.
A few months ago I stayed at a friend’s of my GF family farm in Southern Thailand, the family are fruit farmers and have an orchard where among other things they grow durians. I was surprised when they told me that in that region of Thailand there’s a special type of durian, very rare and coveted. People actually pick their durian as it begins to grow on the tree, reserving it for when it matures, and pay IIRC something like 5000 to 10000 Baht each (that’s between 150 and 300 USD).
To the OP: make sure you brush your tongue too. Just give it a few scrubs with the toothbrush. This will help remove any remaining particles of undesirable material.
I’m apparently in the minority, but I did not find the fragrance of durian that hideous. I bought a fresh one and managed to eat the whole thing myself over several days. Is it stinky? Yes, it certainly is. Waft of rotten onion? Uh-huh. But it’s far more tolerable than other smells I encounter way more often. For example, given the choice between a persistent smell of durian and a persistent smell of wet cat food, I’d choose the durian every time.
They sell durian at a local shop here. I have never bought one. I know in Singapore in the hotel we stayed at that there was a sign directing the guest not to open one in the room.
But in fact, there are large populations of people out there who like durian. Wouldn’t be for sale otherwise, would it? It makes me wonder if it’s one of those things like cilantro, where certain populations have receptors or whatnot that other populations simply don’t have.
I tried to get a fruit vendor to crack open a durian for me in the Philippines, so I could give it a shot. She refused. If you want a durian, you have to take it far, far away before you open it.
Since I was with a group and not willing to make them all hate me, I gave up on my durian dreams.
use peroxide as a mouthwash, be careful NOT to swallow any. It will debride the hell out of the inside of your mouth and get anything toothbrush and regular mouthwash misses.
They also have signs on the subway prohibiting carrying durian there; they do not have signs prohibiting carrying nuclear waste, venomous animals and/or bombs in the subway so I think they have their priorities right in Singapore.
A friend of mine went to Vietnam for a conference and was introduced to durian there.
So he decided it was just the cool exotic fruit to bring to church potluck.
A few of us were going down to the basement, where the potluck was held, when we suddenly stopped and started sniffing the air…
Gas?
Smells like it.
sniffsniff
As we started searching out the unlit pilot light or whatever was leaking, my friend rushed over to assure us that it was just the natural aroma of durian.
Tasted better than I expected—it was sort of like custard mixed with a mouthful of nickels.
