Dying intestate in New York State - what questions do we ask our soon-to-be lawyer?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My mom is dying and she does not have a will.

She’s too far gone mentally to write one now, or to sign over durable power of attorney, so…

I ask all you New York State dopers - have any of you gone through this in New York State - a divorced parent dying intestate with absolutely no assets - no real estate, no vehicle, no valuable jewelry or other property, only direct-beneficiary things like a very small 401k and a very small life insurance policy?

We will obviously be consulting a lawyer very soon, but I’d like to be prepared with questions for our meeting with the lawyer. What kinds of questions should I prepare?

Alternatively, does anyone want to share their experiences with this (without giving legal advice) ?

2

I have one thing related that you did not ask. Do not beleive any of the people she owes money when they tell you the debit needs to be paid by a living relative. They can only claim against the estate.

3

Thanks for the tip. It’s probably the only thing I know for sure! :slight_smile:

We will be asking:

  • How small is small for a “small estate” and does NYS have streamlining processes for small estates that let us skip a probate court appearance?
  • What does it mean that assets with direct beneficiaries, such as 401k accounts, “pass outside probate”?
  • How does the set-aside allowance work in NYS and is this the order of payments in NYS?
    a) Costs/expenses of Administration
    b) Funeral expenses
    c) Debts and taxes
    d) All other claims
  • What on earth do we do next?
4

It doesn’t sound like there’s anything to go to probate with. (I am not a lawyer, but was involved with the legal work around my father’s estate.)

First advice, find a decent estate attorney—ask friends, relatives, etc for recommendations. He/she will be able to tell you exactly how to proceed and what you need to do. Every situation is different.

5

Wisconsin has this site:

http://wripa.org/

The Frequently Asked Questions and Informal Probate Booklet pages helped me develop questions and helped answer them. I suspect New York has a similar site out there. If not, skimming this material may help you with questions.

6

If you’re a beneficiary of a life insurance policy, for instance, the dealings are between you and the life insurance company. You send in the paperwork, and get condolences and a check or an account in return. No middleman or other entity involved.

This is a big help in practice because you’ll get some money right away to pay lawyers to deal with everything else.

7

Sorry to hear about your mom. My sister passed away in November and we’re just starting to untangle all of her medical bills. I have about $40,000 in health insurance company checks I need to deposit into an account that I need to create, and maybe a third of that in outstanding bills that have to be covered or negotiated down somehow, everybody needs documentation, this could be a full-time job for a time. This on top of having to sell her apartment, so we have to clean that out, all her memorabilia from when we were growing up, it all leads to procrastination.

Basically I couldn’t sign anything without authority granted by the state of New York (my sister did have a will), and it took six months to get that. At least 1.5 months of that was spent getting notarized signatures from various family members because of trusts in the will, consents, oaths, waivers, affidavits, citations, whatever else.

Her credit cards were pretty straightforward but the medical stuff is way more complicated. The credit card companies all settled for 20% off of the outstanding balances.

So just start keeping insurance statements, checks, and whatever else organized. Look for her life insurance policy(s), 401ks, IRAs, bank accounts, etc. If your mother’s not able, try to keep her bills current.

Just speaking with a medical insurance representative after she passes away requires having all the state-given authority so I don’t know how you’d be able to avoid Surrogate’s court. Through all the rigamarole we went through we never set foot in a courtroom.

It sucks having to do all this money stuff in the midst of grieving, but you have to do it. Do the direct beneficiary stuff as soon as you are able because you’ll need the money.

True, but the hazard with that is that it can make an excruciatingly long process take even longer, interest accrues, and so on. My lawyer recommended settling sooner rather than later as long as we had the ability, then cover it from the estate.

Sorry, this started as just about medical bills but things kept popping into my head.

8

Motorgirl stated that there are no assets for the estate, so paying off debits is not a good idea. That would leave Motorgirl out the money she paid and never getting it back. I’m only warning her that she is not responsible for her mother’s debit and not to believe a collector that tries to convince her otherwise.

9

Thanks everyone, the tips and links should be very helpful.

We started her on in-hospital hospice care today and also Thorazine. She’s kinda zonked out. My first thought when they suggested Thorazine was “We’re a Happy Family” by the Ramones. Irreverent but strangely helpful.

10

And believe me, I appreciate it! Thank you.

11

Sorry, I forgot about that. Ignore that part of my post with extreme prejudice.

12

IANAL, and the point I’ll add is probably irrelevant to your case, but. . .

My father died intestate (SC). His estate was a pretty simple deal, and the probate judge went over all the paperwork I needed and when it was needed, etc. Pretty simple deal. I didn’t get any legal assistance until the very end of settling the estate a year later.

So. . . you may or may not need to get legal assistance from the get-go. I’d at least wait until you met with someone from the probate court.

13

I am sorry to hear about your mother.

An important thing to ask the lawyer is how much he charges for his. Some bill by a percentage of the estate, and some by the hour. Generally, you want one who charges by the hour. You should sign a contract with the lawyer to put that in writing.