Ear piercing in babies and toddlers

The BBQ Pit
81

[QUOTE=dnooman]
Feeding your kid is necessary, what you feed them is your choice. You don’t have to choose to get the infant’s ears pierced. Comparing what you feed your kid, and what you may or may not choose to have stuck in their ear, are two totally different things. If you would equate your choosing the kid’s hairstyle and clothing, to choosing whether or not the kid gets it’s ear pierced, that would make more sense. I’d still disagree, but it would be a better analogy IMO.
[/QUOTE]

The reason I picked feeding your kids is that what you feed them is permanent. You can dress your kid in the Harley t-shirt or give them a cute little toddler mohawk, and if they don’t like it, hair grows back and they stop wearing the shirt when they are old enough to decide. You don’t “un-injest” meat - or the pesticides, hormones and antibiotics most people feed their kids. But these are “minor” modifications - like tiny holes in your lobes - not major modifications - getting you kid a tattoo or feeding them in such a way that they develop obesity problems at seven.

82

[QUOTE=eleanorigby]
Sapo–the ONLY certain way you know a baby’s sex is via the earrings? That baffles me-what about name, length of hair, hair ornaments or lack thereof, color of clothes etc. Why do you need to know the gender of every baby you see? (this is an odd conversation–it leads many places, including how we respond differently to male and female babies). I’m not criticizing–I am genuinely puzzled. I was bald as a cue ball my entire first year of life and my mother hated pink. I was called a boy many, many times–my mother would simply state that I was a girl. No biggie. :confused:
[/QUOTE]

As was said, for some people, getting the sex of a baby wrong is a biggie.

And yes, for newborns, earrings are the best way to tell the sex. They are all equally wrinkly and pink, dressed in white, green and yellow, with navy blue car seats. How is one supposed to know if they are boys or girls?.

And in English, you could probably get away with just saying “cute baby”, in spanish you have give gender to the words, so it is not as easy trying to be gender neutral while praising a baby.

Aaaand, of course we talk different to boy and girls, even if they are weeks old. Boys are big and strong, girls are cute and sweet. Get a baby and dress him first in blue and then in pink and hear how people talk to him differently in each case.

83

[QUOTE=Marienee]
To avoid going into a huge anthro-socio-psychological discussion which would be tangential and a massive highjack, may I just say that the notion of witches as defined in northern europe and america is not the only one which exists. Witches is the best translation of who they are trying to differentiate themselves from but it isn´t exactly the same.

The short version is, girls who come from families of curanderas are highly likely to have their ears pierced.
[/QUOTE]

That I linked to Willow and Tara from Buffy the Vampire Slayer as examples of witches shows that I was not really serious. I guess you never saw the programme - the fault is mine for assuming that the two characters were universally-known on the SDMB.

84

[QUOTE=eleanorigby]
IMO, one reason could be it’s cultural. I was soundly mocked by the Filipina nurse for NOT getting my daughter’s ears pierced when she was a baby.

I don’t like it either–but it’s not up to me to choose for some other parent. My daughter got her ears pierced as an 8th grade “going to HS now” gift. <shrugs>
[/QUOTE]

Cultural schmultural! Would you say it was child abuse if adults held a baby down and ran a needle through its arm? Yes? Then running it through the earlobes or the nose or anyplace else that has nerve endings and hurts that baby is child abuse. If you do it to a baby you are an abuser. An eighth grader is old enough to say whether she wants to be pierced. A baby or toddler is not.

85

[QUOTE=Nzinga, Seated]
Then, let’s stick with the christmas tree example that Dangerosa brought up. I don’t think that is a different thing at all. So let’s not pick out the thing that is “totally different”…let’s instead counter her point which is valid.

I don’t want to come off over sensitive on this point. Some cultures pierce their babies ears, and some don’t…cool. But I am starting to get more and more interested in this discussion in terms of class judgements.

Is it really possible that people are making judgements based on race and class, rather than a baby’s safety?

I mean, upthread, someone states that a baby may pull out an earing and eat the teeny stud, or choke on it. True, that is a minute possibility, but really…your precious snowflake is going to come into objects of the same size, smaller and bigger, than a tiny gold stud. Many times…grasped in their tiny little fists. Swollowed and passed, without your knowledge. Regardless of how great of a housekeeper you are, this is bound to happen. There are pieces of lint on a baby blanket larger than most starter studs.
[/QUOTE]

Thank you! I resent the notion that because I don’t like the idea of a piercing a baby’s ears, I am somehow a racist. If that’s the case, we could never disapprove of anything at all, because there’s always going to be some culture out there that practices it.

86

[QUOTE=Largo62]
Cultural schmultural! Would you say it was child abuse if adults held a baby down and ran a needle through its arm? Yes? Then running it through the earlobes or the nose or anyplace else that has nerve endings and hurts that baby is child abuse. If you do it to a baby you are an abuser. An eighth grader is old enough to say whether she wants to be pierced. A baby or toddler is not.
[/QUOTE]

How do you feel about toddlers at McDonald’s?

87

[QUOTE=Largo62]
Cultural schmultural! Would you say it was child abuse if adults held a baby down and ran a needle through its arm? Yes? Then running it through the earlobes or the nose or anyplace else that has nerve endings and hurts that baby is child abuse. If you do it to a baby you are an abuser. An eighth grader is old enough to say whether she wants to be pierced. A baby or toddler is not.
[/QUOTE]

And I disagree. I do not consider ear piercing to be child abuse.

YMMV, obviously.

88

largo–you might want to read the thread. I don’t condone baby piercings, but I understand there may be cultural differences to the practice.

swallowing jewelry as mentioned upthread is not innocuous and may cause harm. Is it high risk to baby, so much so that it shouldn’t be done? I highly doubt it.
Sapo-I’m aware we talk and treat female and male babies differently–and perhaps that is not such a good idea. My own FIL refused to believe that my first son was sensitive to loud noises because he was a boy. Putting kids (and babies) into sharply defined gender roles from birth happens all the time–but should it?

Re the definite articles in Spanish and other languages–so what? If you guess “wrong” I can’t believe that most new parents will be horribly offended. Or do you really mean that parents of sons would be insulted by misidentification of their baby? In the grand scheme of things, I can’t see this as an unforgiveable insult-surely there is some perspective on this?

Guin–I hear ya. If it’s not classist, it’s racist. :rolleyes: No, how about it’s an opinion? It effects no one materially in any way. I doubt those who are pro-piercing are going to have a change of heart and vice versa.

89

[QUOTE=eleanorigby]
largo****Guin–I hear ya. If it’s not classist, it’s racist. :rolleyes: No, how about it’s an opinion? It effects no one materially in any way. I doubt those who are pro-piercing are going to have a change of heart and vice versa.
[/QUOTE]
I said I was against the practice. I just understand how it came about and why people do it.

At least here, where it is customary for baby girls not to leave the hospital without piercing their ears (no, it’s not done at some dirty mall, the nurse asked me when we were in the clinic) people consider circumcision for no imminent medical reason to be barbaric. If I had to make a choice between piercing my daughter’s ears, or circumcising my boy, guess which I’d choose?

Notice how I don’t call American parents abusive.

90

This is my last statement on the issue unless someone wants me to clarify something. If you’re not piercing the kid’s ear because they want it, and not doing it out of cultural tradition, why are you doing it? I think that the only answer to that would be that you think your kid looks better with it. I don’t think it’s child abuse, but there is no reason that one should feel that they need to do it at all, ever.

Perhaps the notion that some people have that this behavior is trashy, is because it is entirely elective, the kid didn’t ask for it, and it reminds some people of the disgusting way that some parents dress up their kids for beauty pageants. I know that some of the kids involved with that actually want that stuff done to them, fine, but an infant can make no such requests.

I guess the thing that’s peeving me here, is that of all the supporters of infant piercing, none have been bold enough to just state the plain truth. “I pierced my infant daughter’s ear(s) because I think it looks good.” Tell me that isn’t the number one reason for people getting their infants ears pierced (cultural stuff aside). That is what is seen as “trashy” to some.

The kid needs to be clothed, fed, and usually a haircut of some sort is involved. Those things are constant, and a decision needs to be made about them. Ear piercing is ornamental, not fundamental.

Some people are going to be reminded of Jon Benet Ramsey and other little darling when they see an infant with a pierced ear. Like it or not, there are some fucked up parents out there who take things too far in regards to making their little sweetie look adult.

Pierce the kid when and if they want it. Get it done at a doctors office if safety is a concern.

This whole thread is full of “why shouldn’t I get her ears pierced” rather than “this is why I had her ears pierced”. Somebody please address this side of the issue. We’ve heard plenty of reasons why it can be done, but none about why it has been, or should be done.

[sub]the culturally traditional reasoning has been established, the above does not apply to those situations[/sub]

91

[QUOTE=Guinastasia]
Thank you! I resent the notion that because I don’t like the idea of a piercing a baby’s ears, I am somehow a racist. If that’s the case, we could never disapprove of anything at all, because there’s always going to be some culture out there that practices it.
[/QUOTE]

I think we have a miscommunication, and I am 100% sure it is my fault. I am learning to strengthen my communications skills, but am not there yet.

My point was that I do get the sneaking suspicion that there may be a hint of racism or classism involved with why some people think piercing a baby’s ear is stupid, but that christmas trees are not.

Sorry. I swear I don’t shout racism at the drop of a hat. But I think it may be more than just ‘an opinion’ involved here. Not for everyone that doesn’t think it is ok to pierce a baby’s ear…just some of the people that think it is stupid.

92

Sorry for the double post, but I want to respond to that Dnooman. I confess to piercing my baby’s ears because I think it is pretty.

93

[QUOTE=Sapo]
How do you feel about toddlers at McDonald’s?
[/QUOTE]

I like them with ketchup. Maybe a little mustard. :rolleyes:

What did you mean by this question? What has McDonald’s to do with piercing a baby’s ears?

94

[QUOTE=EJsGirl]
And I disagree. I do not consider ear piercing to be child abuse.

YMMV, obviously.
[/QUOTE]

I notice you just stated your opinion without answering the question. If you think it’s okay to run a needle through a baby’s ear, do you think it’s okay to run a needle through a baby’s arm? Really try to answer the question this time. And please don’t tell me it isn’t the same thing. A needle piercing flesh hurts. You might be able to take it as an adult, especiallly when it is your idea. But what right do you have attacking the flesh of a baby? Do you even consider the possibility of infection?

95

[QUOTE=eleanorigby]
largo–you might want to read the thread. I don’t condone baby piercings, but I understand there may be cultural differences to the practice.

[/QUOTE]

Again, what has culture to do with it. In some parts of the world little girl babies have their clitorises removed. It’s called female circumcision, but it is a permanent mutilation of a baby. Is that okay anywehere just because some “culture” practices it? Some cultures used to practice head hunting and cannibalism, too. We don’t excuse those things today because they are cultural. If you excuse the practicve of ear piercing you do, indeed, condone it.

If you are old enough to know what ear piercing (or any other kind of piercing) is, and want it for yourself, I guess you have the right. But in a civilized world nobody should have the right to inflict any such “cultural” practice on a helpless baby.

96

[QUOTE=Mighty_Girl]
I said I was against the practice. I just understand how it came about and why people do it.

At least here, where it is customary for baby girls not to leave the hospital without piercing their ears (no, it’s not done at some dirty mall, the nurse asked me when we were in the clinic) people consider circumcision for no imminent medical reason to be barbaric. If I had to make a choice between piercing my daughter’s ears, or circumcising my boy, guess which I’d choose?

Notice how I don’t call American parents abusive.
[/QUOTE]

As far a circumcision is concerned, modern medicos say there’s no good reason for it. In my own case I didn’t get a vote, they just held me down when I was a infant of eight days and whacked away. (Sometimes I think the doc got carried away!)

97

There is certainly a cultural component to ear piercings. When I was young nobody pierced their babies ears, but with increased immigration and exposure to different cultures and traditions it has become increasingly common, including among groups that did not have a tradition for it previously. Some think it’s tacky, others think it’s cute.

As mentioned up thread, my main concern would be allergies. Nickel allergy has apparently become increasingly common and some believe it is due to increased use of piercings. Some research also indicate that one can’t be certain that supposed nickel free ear rings are, in fact, nickel free. Old article (have to go to work, don’t have time for more googling right now). I know that I developed problems wearing studs that were supposed to be completely safe. (The first ones)

Since it is so common in many cultures the allergy concern might not be a major one (I’m sure if it was a big problem it would be less common, after all who wants to inflict that on their child?), but I think it should be a consideration in this discussion. It’s probably more common than choking on ear rings anyway.

98

[QUOTE=Nzinga, Seated]
Sorry for the double post, but I want to respond to that Dnooman. I confess to piercing my baby’s ears because I think it is pretty.
[/QUOTE]

That type of honesty shines brightly against the “tell me why I shouldn’t” type posts. Thank you for that. I wish I were smart enough to identify and label the type of debate going on here, but I’ve never taken a course on debate.

I’d much rather have a discussion where my opinion, and another person’s just don’t match. I can agree to disagree quite easily. I guess I just see some of the arguments being made here, as being more along the lines of the person that was given an unfavorable side in a debate, and less about reason. All defensive reasoning, no offensive reasoning for why the activity should take place. I hate that shit.

99

[QUOTE=Largo62]
As far a circumcision is concerned, modern medicos say there’s no good reason for it. In my own case I didn’t get a vote, they just held me down when I was a infant of eight days and whacked away. (Sometimes I think the doc got carried away!)
[/QUOTE]

In what way have you been disadvantaged or done wrong?

This is not sarcasm, just honest questions. I was cut, but I don’t feel that I was wronged. I’m pretty happy with things, and everything works just fine.

100

[QUOTE=Ready_for_my_closeup]
There is certainly a cultural component to ear piercings. When I was young nobody pierced their babies ears, but with increased immigration and exposure to different cultures and traditions it has become increasingly common, including among groups that did not have a tradition for it previously. Some think it’s tacky, others think it’s cute.

As mentioned up thread, my main concern would be allergies. Nickel allergy has apparently become increasingly common and some believe it is due to increased use of piercings. Some research also indicate that one can’t be certain that supposed nickel free ear rings are, in fact, nickel free. Old article (have to go to work, don’t have time for more googling right now). I know that I developed problems wearing studs that were supposed to be completely safe. (The first ones)

Since it is so common in many cultures the allergy concern might not be a major one (I’m sure if it was a big problem it would be less common, after all who wants to inflict that on their child?), but I think it should be a consideration in this discussion. It’s probably more common than choking on ear rings anyway.
[/QUOTE]

I admit to an early prejudice about ear piercing. I didn’t like it even on grown women for quite a long time. I didn’t object to ear decoration, though, and my sister and mother told me that clip on earrings hurt after wearing them for awhile, while pierced ones don’t. Also pierced rings can be much more delicate. All very well for an adult, and I have learned to like and even enjoy seeing beautiful pierced earrings on a woman. But I still think it’s brutal to force such a thing on a baby. Culture isn’t always right.