My birthday is actually in July, but I got presents for it in May, August, and October from various people. I don’t think I received any presents in July other than a check from my parents.
It was pretty awesome. I got presents where the givers had, you know, actually found things they thought I would like, rather than whatever random thing they could find near my birthday.
Although to be fair, for this reason my husband and I have mostly given up giving lip service to exchanging birthday/Christmas presents and instead give presents on Flag Day or Labor Day or whatever holiday is closest to when we actually find something the other might like…
There are exceptions to every rule. I’m sure there are situations for which I could be convinced that an early present is appropriate (however, I seem to get at least one early present from someone each year, including this year, and my wife makes me stick it directly under the tree and wait for 12/25). What I’ve begun to notice over the last few years though, is that early presents tend to betray the lack of ability to delay gratification in other areas of life as well.
It seems most of the “poor” (or at least constantly moaning about being “broke”) people I know always have the current video game system and no shortage of games ($50-$60 each). They always have stacks of DVDs that they buy, rather than rent. They eat out a lot and stock their kitchens with expensive name-brand junk food. They tend to smoke cigarettes and pot (anybody seen what those two cost these days?!) They can never get ahead in life because as soon as they have a dime in their pocket they’re in a hurry to blow it on these little instant gratifications.
These are the same people I notice, year after year, exchanging early Christmas presents. They just can’t wait. They give each other their old phones, their old MP3 players. They buy each other tickets for concerts in November. One of my friends got her fiancé a chair and gave it to him months ago. God only knows why.
Again, there are exceptions to every rule, but general rule of thumb: early Christmas presents = trashy.
If you’re the one giving the gift, though, how is it about delayed gratification? Giving a gift earlier doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to get one earlier.
You don’t get excited about giving someone a gift? I drove around with my wife’s Christmas presents in my car from around August/September until I wrapped them and put them under the tree the week before Christmas. I giggled to myself a little almost every time I got in the car, and wanted to give them to her, or at least tell her about them. I have a lot of friends who gave into this temptation (just like they did last year, and they will next year), but I didn’t, and I’m glad.
I dunno, it sounds more like you have trashy friends than anything else.
Re the November concert tickets: Would it have been better to buy tickets for a concert in November and then wait until Christmas to give them to the recipient? That seems like an unusually poor gift to me, but then if you’re the type of person who is exchanging used cell phones as a Christmas gift, maybe expired concert tickets seem like a great idea, too.
You’ll fit right into my family, which, IF you get a gift, it usually arrives sometimes within two months either direction of your actual Birthday.
Gifts and birthdays aren’t really our thing.
We also celebrate Christmas whenever it fits in. With one relative in retail, two rural nurses - Christmas sometimes doesn’t happen until January, or sometimes happens in mid-December.
Some people are apparently WAY more date driven than my family.
While I realize that this is just the type of passive-aggressive attempt at insult that has come to pass for substantial discussion on these boards, I’ll just note that I have friends and family from all walks of life; from multi-millionaires to literally homeless. It’s just the trashier ones that I tend to see engaging in early gift-giving/receiving.
Yeah, that’s all I meant. I just don’t think there’s that much correlation between early gift-giving and trashiness in general. I think in the case of your friends it’s a coincidence.
I’m completely confused. First of all, define “early”. Do you mean several weeks before Christmas, a few days, what? I mean don’t all of us buy early? Otherwise the only “classy” gifts would be the ones people bought on Christmas eve, if I understand your question (which I’m 99% sure I don’t :)).
I don’t see correlation between when a gift is purchased and/or opened and its trashiness or lack thereof. And your explanation above didn’t help much. Are you trying to say that people who spend their money in foolish ways end up giving used presents and wanting the recipient to open them early or something? I mean if that sort of person gives a trashy present, isn’t it trashy regardless of when it gets opened? In my experience, the usual reason I have to get or give an early present has to do with circumstances (I won’t see the person for Christmas etc), not the quality of the gift.
I nearly always give my boyfriend his presents early even though we live together and we celebrate twice (my family and his). I do this because we’re both going to get presents on Christmas and Christmas Eve so it’s not like he’ll have nothing to open. Also (and this is the main reason) I get him things that I know he’ll absolutely love, or will vastly improve his quality of life. Every time he uses one of the 2 gifts I gave him early this year, he gets all giddy and happy and tells me how much he loves them.
So, in my way of thinking, he gets an extra 2 or 3 weeks of joy out of his gifts, or they can sit on the stairs with all the other presents for a holiday that has no real meaning other than a day to open presents. I vote for letting him enjoy them longer. In addition, I get 2 or 3 extra weeks of joy from seeing him enjoy his gifts.
If I see a friend that exchange gifts with on the 22nd of December, and know I won’t get to see them again until the 12th of January, I enjoy opening the gifts then. You both get the enjoyment of seeing the other open the gift and you can discuss it or give tips or whatever (assuming it’s that kind of gift).
None of my friends can’t pay their rent, smoke cigarettes or any of the other things that you have deemed as ‘trashy’ so I guess we’re in the clear?? Or is wanting to enjoy the giving experience a day or two before the 25th the trashy part?
I know a lady who I consider to be trashy. She is broke enough that she lost her house and was living with her parents, along with her two kids (being broke doesn’t make her trashy btw. She just…is trashy and broke).
She made a big honkin’ deal out of Black Friday and insisted that her boy toy stand in line on Black Friday so the kid could have a PS3. So the kid could have a nice Christmas, you see. Then she gave it to the kid that very Friday (if you’re counting, that’s about a month before Christmas.)
I thought that spending that kind of money when you’re super broke was trashy of her. Even if it was on sale. Her excuse was for a nice Christmas and she didn’t even wait until Christmas.
Trashy people just do trashy stuff. But giving Christmas gifts early is not trashy in itself.
I have a harder time understanding this use of the word trashy. The only way I can think of it is like the word white trash, which are people who enjoy showing off how poor they are, to the point that they often have bad hygiene and definitely bad fashion. But you don’t even seem to be restricting it to poor people.
Why are people who are impatient worthy of such scorn? Why does it matter at all?
I gave my sister an early present, because I knew it would be next to impossible to hide it from her, and I knew she’d get more pleasure out of it if the gift came when was not expecting it. Most everyone else gives out early gifts because it’s the only time they see the person before the holidays. And they may even want to have the pleasure of seeing you open it.
I do agree, if you have a lot of people who are giving you early gifts for crass reasons, you are the exception, not the rule.
Then again, I see nothing wrong with a poor person giving their child a fancy gift. It seems some people want to treat poor people like they aren’t normal people, and aren’t allowed to decide what’s more important to them. As long as they get by, what’s it to you?