Earth, you need Jenny Craig!

In our undying quest to kill the earth, I have thought up something new but have no clue what the ramifications of it would be.

What would happen to the earth, its orbit, the tide and anything else if all at once everyone on Earth jumped up? Would it become lighter and what would happen?

You’ve got 809 posts here and you spew this newbie/troll bait ortbage in GQ of all places?!

I’ve shocked and stunned! Stunned I tell you!

Ortbage?

Uncle Cecil said, “…, I am actually going to answer this incredibly retarded question.

ort (ôrt) n. 1. Usu., <orts.> a scrap or morsel of food
left at a meal.

Beneath even garbage, literally a “scrap” of garbage / small garbage scrap.