I routinely address an email to two (or more) men as “Gentlemen:” and do it without hesitation (although maybe I shouldn’t). I could imagine addressing an email to a mixed group (of at least two men and two women) as “Ladies and Gentlemen.”
I know that I should not address an email to two (or more) women as “Ladies:,” so I don’t. But I put it in the same category as “ma’am,” I don’t really understand the rule, but I follow it.
I worked with a gentleman man who routinely addressed emails to a group of two men and one woman as “Gentlemen and Rebecca,” which I found a bit odd.
The fact that someone called for a wellness check implies that he was behaving in a manner that caused at least one person to question his sanity. I’m guessing more went on at the meeting than is being reported.
I know a super-conservative doctor who constantly rants about how wrong transgenderism is - he literally won’t shut up about it.
He claims he got fired from a job for accidentally misgendering a patient (to the other doctors during discussion, not to the patient) one single time and that was the only reason he was fired. Nobody who knows him believes that for a minute.
Not sure. I’d be more likely to use names for two people than for more than two. I might use “Good Morning” (or some such) and dodge the issue. (You could reasonably ask why I don’t just do this for all emails and I don’t really have an answer.)
The problem is that neither Gentleman nor Lady are really standard forms of address (although, I suppose, I would be likely to refer to someone as a gentleman or lady – is it really preferred to substitute woman? “Go over and talk to the gentleman in the blue shirt or the woman in orange hat”). But the plurals historically have been.
If you accept that the call he did not answer was to offer him the job, I don’t think that’s a likely implication. That wellness check business is really the strangest part of the whole thing, to my mind.
It’s increasingly inappropriate. Hi? Good morning everyone?
It is problematic for some women. Good for her boss for being sensitive to that. Girls and women are routinely policed for acting “unladylike.” It’s a term that can have a sort of hyper-feminine connotation, and the less feminine gender conforming one is, the more prickly it can feel to be addressed that way. So some women don’t mind it at all, and some women find it very uncomfortable, and some people are aware of that.
Not just a condescension issue – though I agree with everything in your excellent post. But it’s also a gender and gender-role- reinforcing issue to use it.
I find it odd that in this setting, the Chair’s title and surname weren’t used. I would never address members of a political body – elected officials – who are in contract negotiations with me, in any other way. Like: Chair ____, and Committee Members. Or, Chair ____, and Ms ____.
And for all the folks who think it’s fine to address a group of women that way, you should know that some of us have experienced that word as a weapon, that it invalidates and “others” us, and that you are either excluding us or effectively misgendering us.
The justification provided in the article was to have it replace the accrued sick leave he already had, but according to the article, he also asked for 18 sick days every year following the first. So, yeah, it sounds like a backdoor way of asking for more paid vacation days if he was going to be paid less than his current job.
Quite.
Also the “never gotten any blowback” is not the greatest yardstick. Some of the older folks in my hometown used to say the same thing about certain words used to describe racial minorities (“I’ve always called them that and they never said anything to me about it”). I’m more resigned than shocked to hear a similar line of argument employed in the 21st century.
Traditionally, members of marginalized groups have had to subsume the urge to express such criticism, especially to members of the dominant group (especially when they got older), or potentially face consequences.
Actually, it’s more a measure of how far we’ve come that some people now feel able to explicitly express such criticism with less fear of repercussion.
I just checked in with my best friend, who lives in Easthampton. Said that there was supposed to be a public Zoom meeting about it on Tuesday the 4th, but so many people logged on that it crashed their server. Rescheduled for next week.
Ive a (male) staff member who sends emails to me and if it includes other women addresses the email “ladies”. My eyes roll so hard they risk falling out of my face. I never say anything either but I hate it.
I’m offended by, for example, all manner of small minded, patriarchal, vile, officious, bigoted, intellectually incurious people who unfortunately inhabit this planet with me, especially when they disingenuously act like they don’t intend offense. Not giving a fuck if you offend is the same as doing it intentionally.
