I think this is the worst comment in the entire thread, to be frank. If everyone thought like this, then none of the world’s ills would ever be corrected. If an ill has happened in front of me, and I can do something about it, then gosh darn it, it behooves me to fix it. All the major world religions say so in one form or another, and even better, secular humanism also says so. I live in a society and I happen to like it, and I will continue to do what I can to fix the world’s ills, a little bit at a time.
It’s a bit of a social minefield for non-US people. For instance, in the UK, 10% is considered the standard tip for eating out in a restaurant. In pubs/bars tipping is non-existent apart from the occasional “Have one for yourself” at your local.
You see, food prices in American restaurants are low for the same reason we have tips. Those in other countries pay more up front and don’t tip after. We pay less up front and do tip after.
You think it’s crazy to add on $10, well you’re the one sitting there paying $55 for the meal without a tip and we’re the ones sitting here paying $45 for the meal and $10 for the tip. Comes out about the same.
When you know you have to tip and therefore calculate the cost of the tip into your eating out budget, you don’t end up in situations where you’re shocked at how much tip you have to pay. That $10 isn’t a separate $10 for us. It’s part of the meal cost and we knew it’d be there going in.
Think of it this way, in America you pay the restaurant for the food, then you pay the server for their service. Most everywhere else, you pay the restaurant for the food AND the service. That’s the real difference.
I have a friend who is like this and the first experience was quite a shock. It’s probably happened several times before that, as we take turns paying when we go out to lunch, but this was the first that I knew about it.
We all went to a local steakhouse after our children’s school performance. She and her husband were on a new diet*, and just getting used to eating out while being careful. As a result, they sent food back no less than three times - not because there was anything “wrong” with it, but because they hadn’t expected there to be butter o the broccoli, or some such thing.
I myself had to send my steak back because it was too rare for me; and of course we had three little ones at the table, which always results in extra trouble and mess. Kids meals are also the same amount of work for the wait staff, at a far lower price, so I always try to account for that when tipping.
So we passed the check around, and it was obvious which was mine as it was the only one in cash. She questioned me loudly about the generosity of my tip, and even tried to force me to take some money back. I told her as gently as I could that I alone had sent the waitress back to the kitchen twice, and I felt she had earned an extra bonus.
She was visibly shaken by the inability to convince me to tip less. Since then, I have quietly tucked a $10 bill under my plate any time it’s her turn to pay for lunch.
*Hugely successful diet, they are really doing great! I don’t question that, just her unwillingness to compensate the server accordingly.
So, your opinion that a proper tip is “20%-plus” or “$20” is based on what? How and when did satisfactory service equate to a tip of 18 or 20 percent of the bill? Or 15 percent, for that matter.
Who has determined the steady escalation of a “customary” tip from 10 to 12 to 15 to 18 to 20 percent? Servers and former servers would be my guess. The biggest tippers I know are those who either work or formerly worked as servers. OK, I get that.
But I factor much more than the bill amount into the size of tips I leave. How much service did I actually get? Was the server attentive and helpful? Did I have to wait for drink refills or napkin requests? How can anyone seriously argue that a tip at a $40 a head restaurant should be four times as much as a $10 a head bill at a modest restaurant? Did the former waiter do four times as much work as the latter?
The OP specifically asked that this not turn into yet another thread on the ethics of tipping. It’s likely he/she has received all the useful answers that this thread is going to garner, so I’m closing this on request.